Funny Site "Book-a-minute"

[zooropamanda]

Found this classic site which condenses great books and films, so you can read them in under a minute.

here are some samples
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The Collected works of Jane Austen

Female Lead
"I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know. "
Male Lead
"I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know."
(They find out.)
THE END

Hamlet

"Whine whine whine...To be or not to be...I'm dead. "

The Crucible

Reverend Parris
"Abigail Williams, you and your friends are in trouble, unless you can shift the blame to someone else. "
Abigail Williams
"She did it! He did it! They did it! Everybody but us did it! "
Judge Danforth
"Ah, now we are getting somewhere. "
(Everybody gets hanged, which just goes to show how evil McCarthyism is.)

Midsummer Night's Dream

Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius, and Helena
"We're all in love with each other the wrong way around. "
(Everyone goes into the woods. They have wacky experiences, pair off correctly, and live happily ever after.)

Lord of the Rings :the Fellowship
Gandalf
"Bilbo Baggins, your Ring is evil. In a couple decades, we'll try to destroy it. In the meantime, leave it for Frodo to play with. "
Bilbo Baggins
"It's not evil. It's mine. My precious. Mine! MINE, I TELL YOU!! MOOHOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
(Frodo takes it to RIVENDELL. Some FRIENDS come with him. They are attacked by black riders a LOT, and it is SCARY.)

Elrond
"Frodo Baggins, if Sauron ever gets this Ring, the world will be destroyed, and evil will reign forever. We must act quickly. Take the Ring to where he lives."
(They do some travelling. Some more FRIENDS come with him. Gandalf DIES in the mines of Moria, but will later be RESURRECTED in GLORIFIED form having triumphed over EVIL, an obvious literary ALLUSION to that movie where the guy comes back as a DOG.)

Boromir
"Frodo Baggins, give me the Ring. "
Frodo
"No."
Boromir
"What have I done?" (dies)

Check out many more silliness at
http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/

 

[Bonochick]

[No message]

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

LOL!

Funny.

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You can tear it up
If you can tie me down

 

[sulawesigirl4]

lmfao! Way too funny.

Othello by Shakespeare

Iago: Your wife's cheating on you.

Othello: She is? (kills wife) Damn, she wasn't really.

THE END


To Build a Fire by Jack London

Sometimes you need to build a fire to keep warm, but you can't, and you freeze to death.

THE END


Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

Some Creature: I won't eat green eggs and ham anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances.

Sam I Am: Try it.

Some Creature: Yum.

THE END

 

[zooropamanda]

hehe yeah i love it

 

[foray]

Hahahaha! Thank you manda

4a

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so bounce, basketball, bounce

 

[sulawesigirl4]

manda, this site gives me a giggle when I need one. Thanks again for pointing it out!

"The Collected Work of E. E. Cummings"
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

i j(ust !
b0.u )
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ht..

t
YpE
w

r
iTe
r

: buti(twon)tma

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r

ke cap
i,tal;
lett Ers -


THE END


"The Fortunes and Misfortunes of Moll Flanders Who Was Born In Newgate, and During a Life of Continu'd Variety For Threescore Years, Besides Her Childhood, Was Twelve Year a Whore, Five Times a Wife [Whereof Once To Her Own Brother], Twelve Year a Thief, Eight Year a Transported Felon In Virginia, At Last Grew Rich, Liv'd Honest, and Died a Penitent"

By Daniel Defoe


(Moll Flanders is born in NEWGATE. Throughout her life, she has FORTUNES and MISFORTUNES and a CHILDHOOD. She becomes a WHORE. She gets married FIVE TIMES [once to her own BROTHER]. She becomes a THIEF. She is exiled to Virginia as a FELON. She gets RICH. She lives HONEST. She dies PENITENT.)

THE END

The Scarlet Letter
by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Evil Puritanical Society: Because you have committed adultery, you must wear an 'A'. Harlot! Harlot!

Hester Prynne: ...

(The Evil Puritanical Society SNUBS Hester Prynne.)

Hester Prynne: ...

(They call her NAMES.)

Hester Prynne: ...

(They won't let her play any Evil Puritanical Society GAMES.)

Reverend Dimmesdale: I can't take it anymore. I did it.

THE END

 

[Alisaura]

*LMAO* Priceless! Love the LOTR one...