Holiday cheer!! - Page 3 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 12-14-2007, 03:24 PM   #41
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM

__________________

BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 03:26 PM   #42
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM

__________________

BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 03:31 PM   #43
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.



2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.



3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays.

Ask if he would mind watering your plants.



4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas.

Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.



5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy

when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!



6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that

say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa"



7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called

and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his

way home.



8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney.

Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.



9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes

back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment,

and take off.



10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note

that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale

cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says,

"For Santa".



11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa

arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always

return to the scene of the crime."



12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and

corrections.



13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.



14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.



15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with

unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.



16. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.



17. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house,

go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled."

Threaten to sue.



18. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 03:33 PM   #44
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM

BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 03:36 PM   #45
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM

BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 03:38 PM   #46
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM
Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"

Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"



Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.

Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.



Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.

Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.



Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.

Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.



When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.

Democrats ask for a "Bud."



When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.

Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.



Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.

So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.



Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.

Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.



Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.

Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people's lights.



Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."

Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."

Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."



Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping.

Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen.



Republicans wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season.

Democrats do too, all year round.



Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards.

Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.



Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls."

Young Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."

Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."



Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.

Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.

Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.



Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."

Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.



Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.

Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.



Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals.

On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,

and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 03:42 PM   #47
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BonoFox1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Earth to Blue Crack to Planet Fierce and back again
Posts: 47,435
Local Time: 06:24 AM

BonoFox1 is offline  
Old 12-14-2007, 04:15 PM   #48
Blue Crack Overdose
Get me off the internetz!
 
Carek1230's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: wishing I was somewhere else....
Posts: 125,647
Local Time: 07:24 AM
Great stuff, Everyone, thanks! Keep posting!!
__________________

Carek1230 is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:24 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com
×