When a man is interested in you...

[digsy]

Or worse, that we're seeing the same man?

only if he's exceptionally good at light speed travel!
that said.... he did say he was going away this weekend...

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

or sometimes you get both (i'm getting both, its very weird)
some positives that bowl me over and then indifference that sends me reeling.
i think the fact that i'm finding it very hard to tell whats going on probably means there ain't much going on

So what do we do when this happens?

 

[Sweet Tart]

no idea. have given up trying to figrue out rules/intentions/signals/etc....it does my head in to be honest.

 

[VintagePunk]

only if he's exceptionally good at light speed travel!
that said.... he did say he was going away this weekend...

The bastard has mastered travelling at the speed of light, but can't figure out how to send non-ambiguous signals.

So what do we do when this happens?

Good question. My knee-jerk reaction is usually to walk away from it, for the reasons I stated earlier - my belief that you only drive yourself insane trying to interpret signals, and if a guy is really interested he'll let you know in no uncertain terms by making a move. This time though, I wonder if I'm being too harsh.

Shall we throw it back to the men? Men, what do you think?

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

so what is it then? do we make our interest known (which you probably won't pick up on anyway) or do we play aloof and hard to get?!?!?!

see this is why i hate games! it really should be as simple as i like you therefore i'll call you.
but no, intead we get the 3 day rule and the not thursday rule and the hard to get bollocks and all that shite.
believe me, if i like a guy, then i'm definitely not gonna be put off if he shows interest too. in fact the complete opposite will occur and making me wait 4 days for a phone call is not doing you any good at all!

so stripping and tattoos it is then i guess

Exactly, yeesh! It should NOT be this hard!

Make it clear you like them, you're perceived as a stalker.

Be subtle, they'll never get the hint.


I hate this crap. *gets stripper pole to start practicing on*

 

[Sweet Tart]

I hate this crap. *gets stripper pole to start practicing on*

that'll get their attention if nothing else.

 

[digsy]

been then, done that... it only works to a certain degree

 

[digsy]

Exactly, yeesh! It should NOT be this hard!

Make it clear you like them, you're perceived as a stalker.

Be subtle, they'll never get the hint.


I hate this crap. *gets stripper pole to start practicing on*

exactly.

show you like them and you're needy, dont and they're too blind to notice

 

[Sweet Tart]

been then, done that... it only works to a certain degree

well i guess it's back to the drawing board then.

 

[bonoishot]

thats what i want to know because i'll think i'm making myself obvious enough but then my guy friends are like "oh no, we'd never pick up on that"

short of stripping and tatooing "i like you" on my forehead, i don't quite know what else to do sometimes!

im with you on that

 

[shaynar]

omg... I've dealt with so many games in the last month let alone.... argh

-the girl can't call, make the guy call you
-guys can't ask a girl out for a fri/sat too early on b/c it shows they have nothing better to do
-the girl must act like she is indifferent to the guy, this will make him like her

and this is just to start off

anyone else?

 

[digsy]

omg... I've dealt with so many games in the last month let alone.... argh

-the girl can't call, make the guy call you
-guys can't ask a girl out for a fri/sat too early on b/c it shows they have nothing better to do
-the girl must act like she is indifferent to the guy, this will make him like her

and this is just to start off

anyone else?

sounds like rubbish to me but apparently thats how it goes

guys can't ask a girl out on a tuesday because its too soon and like you siaid, means they have nothing better to do, but you can't leave it till thursday aswell beacuse then you're presuming that she hasn't made other plans already which is insulting, and you're giving her too little notice.
well thats what i've had a guy friend tell me before.

i mean really, do any woman out there actually think like that? if a guy called you on a tuesday would you really be "oh my god, what a social reject, i'll say no on the principal"

and guys, if its a girl you really like, is her being indifferent to you really gonna make you like here more?
me personally, i get like that with casual flings - the thrill of the chase you know, and once you got it... bored now, moving on. thats alright if its not someone you care that much about, but if it comes to someone i do really like and i'm not just messing about with, then indifference just hurts a bit and makes me back off.

am i the only one?

i mean surely if indifference were really the way forward then flirting would be a dying art because it goes completeley against the theory of "ignore him and he'll come running"

 

[shaynar]

I just simply don't understand why, if two people are interested, they can't just go for it!

 

[Zoots]

Well I’m the sort of guy who for the most part needs a girl to show considerable interest before I can really return the interest with interest so to speak.

If you find yourself getting on well with a guy and are able to have a friendly conversation with him then maybe you should ask him out.

There are a lot of us out there who just don’t have the requisite balls.

I didn't wanna say it but that's me right there!

more like... I'm never sure if it's acceptable to just walk to a girl and say 'hey you're cute, you wanna get some coffee?' as opposed to.... starting up a conversation about some stupid thing when it's pretty obvious that it's just an excuse to ask her for her number. and then working my way into.. 'wanna get a cup of coffee?'

Yes.... Ladies?

 

[Zoots]

I just simply don't understand why, if two people are interested, they can't just go for it!

because one is not sure the other feels the same way!

 

[digsy]

because one is not sure the other feels the same way!

yeah that is it i guess. at the same time though, it shouldn't really be a problem - i dont think it's too hard to show your interest without making a fool of yourself.
unfortunately people dont do that, or they give off mixed vibes which is how you get confusion and shyness and threads like this!

 

[Zoots]

i dont think it's too hard to show your interest without making a fool of yourself.
unfortunately people dont do that, or they give off mixed vibes which is how you get confusion and shyness and threads like this!

I guess that's what many people find it hard to do... to just go for it and ask someone out without giving a rat's ass about the outcome!

 

[digsy]

well see i did that, got a really good outcome, thought it was all sorted and now i'm getting mixed signals again, some really good signs and then something totally off kilter thats throws me

so thinking i've made myself clear, now i wait...if i get nothing which i think might turn out to be the case, then its called tough luck i guess.
i did my bit, i tried and i possibly got played, but you know, life goes on, i think i'll get over it.

 

[Zoots]

I'm sure that would at least feel more satisfying than just staring at somebody and simply wanting to ask them out! Reminds me of that oft repeated saying...

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I'm going to mention that phrase the next time someone thinks they're helping me by saying I was spared all the crap by not getting anywhere with someone I like.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

i did my bit, i tried and i possibly got played, but you know, life goes on, i think i'll get over it.

Been there, done that too.

 

[U2Girl1978]

I'm going to mention that phrase the next time someone thinks they're helping me by saying I was spared all the crap by not getting anywhere with someone I like.

Do you have any updates?

being nosy. sorry!

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Do you have any updates?

being nosy. sorry!

Oh, the ole love life is D.O.A, especially when it comes to him! He was over and done with in my brain since the day we left for Christmas break!

 

[digsy]

right i've officially given up!
after a bunch of flirty emails, totally leading me on, he backtracked again last minute.
i could not be arsed anymore

 

[ZeroDude]

I didn't wanna say it but that's me right there!

more like... I'm never sure if it's acceptable to just walk to a girl and say 'hey you're cute, you wanna get some coffee?' as opposed to.... starting up a conversation about some stupid thing when it's pretty obvious that it's just an excuse to ask her for her number. and then working my way into.. 'wanna get a cup of coffee?'

Yes.... Ladies?

We just need motivation as already stated.

But to be honest it’s a hell of a lot better to start a conversation of sorts and an interesting one at that but then again I usually come across as a pretentious drunk bastard anyway.

Ah, such is life.


It is the pretentious bastard thing.

 

[Blue Room]

Oh, the ole love life is D.O.A, especially when it comes to him! He was over and done with in my brain since the day we left for Christmas break!

Well, at least you didnt have to go through.................................

Sorry April, I couldnt resist.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Well, at least you didnt have to go through.................................

Sorry April, I couldnt resist.

 

[AtomicBono]

right i've officially given up!
after a bunch of flirty emails, totally leading me on, he backtracked again last minute.
i could not be arsed anymore

sorry to hear it I guess if he can't make up his mind then he's not worth your time. of course it really depends on the circumstances but meh

I've come to the conclusion that no one likes me there have been a couple guys that seemed to show interest in me, so I started liking them, and I never even made it obvious but they eventually backed off which is dumb because I might not have liked them in the first place if they hadn't been flirty first!! ah well it was probably just me misinterpreting things as usual... guys are so confusing...

 

[shaynar]

so am I misinterpreting things?

This guy asks me out (without a definite time scheduled) and we've talked a few times since, and nothing???

 

[ZeroDude]

sorry to hear it I guess if he can't make up his mind then he's not worth your time. of course it really depends on the circumstances but meh

I've come to the conclusion that no one likes me there have been a couple guys that seemed to show interest in me, so I started liking them, and I never even made it obvious but they eventually backed off which is dumb because I might not have liked them in the first place if they hadn't been flirty first!! ah well it was probably just me misinterpreting things as usual... guys are so confusing...

Girls are quite confusing as well.

So I hereby declare that all women should wear the trousers and leave us men folk to be docile creatures that pander to your every whim.



On a more serious note though you should really try and do new things, meet new people and you should really heed all the other cliched advice that unsurprisingly works like a charm.