The debt I have outstanding is killing me

[Justified]

I do not think I will every get my head above water, at least it doesn't feel like I ever will. I am now seriously thinking about just moving back home with my parents for a short time until I get this outstanding debt under better control.

I haven't had credit cards in over a year and some how I feel like I am still tossing money down the drain.

 

[Mr. BAW]

Been there, done that,,,still crying...

 

[nbcrusader]

Been there too. You are on the right road now. Just re-examine your monthly budget and see what is left to cut. Moving in with your parents may seem tough, but if it accelerates your debt reduction, it is well worth it.

 

[beli]

Moving in with your parents may seem tough, but if it accelerates your debt reduction, it is well worth it.

Acclerates your FINANCIAL debt reduction but may increase the mental debt your parents wave over you.

 

[bonosloveslave]

I think having semi-small goals will help - have you heard about paying the most you can on the card w/ the highest interest rate (or alternatively the smallest balance), minimum on the rest, and then once that first card is paid off, keep paying that same amount toward the next card.

The freedom you'll feel at the end of this may be worth putting up with being at your parents for a relatively short time.....

You can do it

 

[martha]

I agree. Moving back in with your parents may be worth it. Then just hammer away at those debts till they're gone.

 

[ti-hua]

I agree. I'm in the midst of this dilemma right now. I've been living with my parents for over a year and the debt is slowing disappearing - although some of my sanity has disappeared as well.

I keep telling myself it's not the end of the world and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A dim one but a light nonetheless!!

Good luck!!

 

[Chizip]

sounds like your outstanding debt isnt outstanding at all!

thanks folks, ill be here all week

 

[U2Kitten]

I'm going to be a bad influence and say take bankruptcy. I had to do it and it's not as bad as you might think. Yes, you are throwing money down the drain, and you will for years. Even if you move back home, they will own you, for years.

Debt counseling sounds good on commercials, but in reality, they are all for the creditor. They are judgemental and pull guilt trips on you. They also don't reduce your payments that much. They do reduce the interest, IF the creditor agrees to it, but they don't reduce the monthly payments much at all and that's what I needed.

I took out bankruptcy, I confess. I had a very nice lady lawyer and she was very nice and helpful . She put me at ease and told me it happens to a lot of people and don't be ashamed. All I had to do was fill out my debts and the amounts and addresses, paid her $800, and poof, $27,000 in debt went down the drain, instead of all my money for the next 20 years. I am relieved, and I have learned a hard lesson and it will not happen again.

Don't think it's stealing, with the interest and fees, you paid for what you bought. You just don't let them get richer off you. My lawyer told me it's their goal to own people for the rest of their lives and intimidate them into paying. She said they even expect a certain number of write offs every year, and use it on their taxes.

Don't be a martyr. You are not noble, you are throwing your hard earned money down the toilet. If you write it off, you will have credit again in a year or two and start fresh. Yes, it stays on your record for 7 years, but what good is being saddled with deep debt for 7 or more years that you are not free from? A PREACHER'S wife told me this and told me not to feel guilty. Even those ripoff counseling things keep you in limbo for several years, during which time you cannot get a loan for anything either.

Good luck no matter what you do.

 

[nbcrusader]

Actually, this is not a bad suggestion depending on the size of your debts. If you are barely keeping up with minimum payments on credit cards - it could take years to get out from under the debt.

Estimate, based on your current income and monthly expenses, how long it will take to pay off existing debt, including the recurring interest charges.

 

[GibsonExplorer]

 

[Justified]

i don't own any more credit cards. i am on a debt consolidation program. there is no way i would declare bankruptcy. i will lose my sanity and move in with my parents before i declare bankruptcy.

the middle of the month kills me because i have one large sum of money that goes directly out of my account to my consolidation program. it is a huge chunk and just a pain in the ass. i am paying for the stupid purchases i made years ago. never again!

living w/ the folks for a few months though to wipe this crap out may well be worth it. thankfully i get along well with my parents.

 

[~LadyLemon~]

I just had to defer my student loans due to economic hardship. I am living at home with no job. It feels like I will never dig myself out of this mess.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i know how you feel. in december i'd just paid off my huge credit card bill (it's only got a limit of $1700, but for someone with an older car and no apartment, that's a lot of money). however, by this month, i'd already brought the balance back up to $1000. some of it was out of my control; i needed extensive work done on my car. however, that's not the whole balance. i can now afford to move out because i've got a higher-paying job, but i don't want to until i've paid off my credit cards.

i think it'd be best if you moved in with your parents and paid off your credit cards. you'll feel a lot better once they're all paid off. it'll be a pain in the ass and seem like they'll never go away, but they'll go away quicker if you've got less expenses.

 

[U2Kitten]

I don't understand why people think declaring bankruptcy is so bad, it's no worse, even better, than being deep in debt. Of course you have to have a negative debt to income ratio before it will be approved, and mine was. You might just lose your sanity. I was having nightmares and living in terror of coming home finding a warrant on my door. I finally had to do it when they put a hold on my bank account. Maybe you're not as bad off as I was. But please, don't feel you're some kind of martyr or noble person for paying them for years, if it's that bad. If you only owe a couple thousand it can be beaten. Mine could not. Even my mother, who was sanctimonious and so against bankruptcy like you, had to do it. I told her to and she would yell, no, no way, not me, and keep throwing her money down a rat hole. Because if you can't pay a large amount over your minimum payment, it will never go down. I had so many there was no way I could so I went under. My Mom did too, and told me she should have done it 2 years sooner. The preacher's wife who declared told me it was nice to finally sleep again after she declared.

 

[U2Kitten]

I don't want any more credit cards either. They are EVIL. So easy to subsidize your life and so much fun until the shit hits the fan. Now I am a lot broker and I can't buy my kids a lot of the things they ask for, and I can't take as many trips, and may not to go to concerts I want to see, all my clothes and shoes are beat up, but I'm not digging myself another hole. I have learned the hard way.

 

[Justified]

from what i have been educated by from financial advisors, consumer advisors and people i have known to declare bankruptcy, it is the last thing you want to do unless you have no other option. thank goodness i have options. i have savings, investments, etc to turn to, it is just a pain in the ass to deal with debt.

student loans, one lump sum consolidation payment, utility bills, rent, auto and homeowners insurance all of that with exception of the rental payment hits at the same time during the month the 16th.

i will figure this out. until then i will bitch about it until it all comes crystal clear.

 

[arw]

My parents filed for bankruptcy because they both lost their jobs and had 1 kid in college and 2 in high school and no income....yeah that sucked. Watching the crap they went through was horrible and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone.

It's just not something that you should do unless it's absolutely your only option. Move back with your parents!

 

[Angela Harlem]

U2kitten, you are very brave. I hope everything is working out ok for you now. The relief you must feel now has no price tag.


Miss V, where there is a will, there is a way. Make sure you leave yourself some extra every month to save yourself the emotional insanity. It might add another 6 months onto your plan, but well worth it in the long run. It also wont affect how you have learned from any mistakes you have made. Life with no reward is a difficult one, dont deny yourself everything.

 

[Justified]

thank you Angela.

 

[fah]

I feel your pain.

 

[U2Kitten]

Thanks Angela Harlem

Arw9797, things 'sucked' a lot worse for me before I did it. Maybe they had to take a chapter 13, which is for people who own stuff that's worth something and sometimes they lose it. Mine was a chapter 7 which is a total liquidation of debt for people with no valuable assets.

Which brings me to Justified. Yes, if you have assets, not only do you not need to declare, you probably couldn't. Bankruptcy is for broke people, with nowhere else to go, who own nothing of value and can't get it.

Sometimes it seems like some people cannot comprehend the concept of having nothing, no money, assets, or anything. My brother the yuppie told me to always keep $1000 extra in the bank and pretend like I don't have it, then it will always be there for emergencies and I won't bounce any checks. Well where is this money going to come from, and if I had extra money, I wouldn't be broke! He doesn't understand because he's never been poor. We didn't grow up poor, and he's loaded now, but I'm a broke loser and he can't get how that is There's no way to save when you need everything you have and more just to try to survive. It's like, let them eat cake!

 

[arw]

Arw9797, things 'sucked' a lot worse for me before I did it. Maybe they had to take a chapter 13, which is for people who own stuff that's worth something and sometimes they lose it. Mine was a chapter 7 which is a total liquidation of debt for people with no valuable assets.

I don't have a clue which one they did. By 'sucked' I meant the whole loss of jobs, money, house, a car, not being able to live anywhere but a run down rental house for 9 years, driving used cars that broke down everyday.... My parents went from having everything in the world and being able to give their kids everything in the world to having absolutely nothing within a few years. They went through absolute hell and unfortunately took their three kids with them.

They now own two cars and a brand new beautiful house. But it took ELEVEN years for them to recover from it. It took them until this past summer to buy that house. They were turned down year after year to buy that house even though they both have decent paying jobs and have had zero debt since the bankruptcy.

So anyways enough about my parents. My original point was I just don't think it's something that should be done if you've got other options.

 

[U2Kitten]

If your 'options' are a cheap rate consolidation loan, cashing in assets, or borrowing off of rich relatives, fine. But in my case, and maybe your parents' too, the 'options' instead of bankruptcy were either carrying so much debt and owing so much that you still have to live in run down neighborhoods (like me) drive an older car that always breaks (like me) not be able to buy your kids the stuff other kids have that they ask for (like me) and never having enough money (like me) So what I mean is, if your only option is bankruptcy or throwing every cent you get down the drain of high interest cards for 20 or more years, bankruptcy is better. I also found out the hard way that carrying too much debt, or even being in a 'counseling' program (who lower your interest rates a little but not the payment) also prevent you from having good credit to get good homes and cars and stuff, so what's better? If it's do-able, like just a couple thousand, it can be beaten. But when you owe over 20,000 (which was nothing I had to show for it, all nickle and dime stuff and auto work adding up over several years) at 20-30% interest, you pay each card 100-200 per month and only 5 goes to principle, and because there are so many you can't pay more, that's when you're stuck. I'm sure your parents, like me, wouldn't have done it if they had any other way.

 

[arw]

If your 'options' are a cheap rate consolidation loan, cashing in assets, or borrowing off of rich relatives, fine. But in my case, and maybe your parents' too, the 'options' instead of bankruptcy were either carrying so much debt and owing so much that you still have to live in run down neighborhoods (like me) drive an older car that always breaks (like me) not be able to buy your kids the stuff other kids have that they ask for (like me) and never having enough money (like me) So what I mean is, if your only option is bankruptcy or throwing every cent you get down the drain of high interest cards for 20 or more years, bankruptcy is better. I also found out the hard way that carrying too much debt, or even being in a 'counseling' program (who lower your interest rates a little but not the payment) also prevent you from having good credit to get good homes and cars and stuff, so what's better? If it's do-able, like just a couple thousand, it can be beaten. But when you owe over 20,000 (which was nothing I had to show for it, all nickle and dime stuff and auto work adding up over several years) at 20-30% interest, you pay each card 100-200 per month and only 5 goes to principle, and because there are so many you can't pay more, that's when you're stuck. I'm sure your parents, like me, wouldn't have done it if they had any other way.

All I did was offer my family's experience. I have no clue why you had that much debt but my parents was due to unemployment at the same time not because they spent more than they made a year. They didn't have outrageous credit cards debt. They had a house, two cars, and 3 kids with zero income. So once again...that SUCKED.

Just because you have experience in this doesn't mean it's the only way. It doesn't sound like Justified is in the same position with her debt as you were or my parents were. My point was in my original post that if her option is to move in with her parents to free up some money to be put somewhere else then go for it. I feel like you're talking down to me like I have either no clue what I'm talking about or my way is wrong. Stop it.

 

[U2Kitten]

I was trying to be nice about your parents, and I wasn't even talking about Justified anymore. Like I said in 2 other posts, if she has 'assets' she is certainly in a different situation than me, and also your parents. I really don't understand how you took my post the wrong way. I was only trying to explain how things can snowball on you- especially when you have not enough income. I'm really sorry you saw anything in what I wrote that would make you go 'stop it' because it was never meant that way at all. On the other side of this, it was kind of hurtful to me to have some people keep going 'there are other options' like I was stupid and took the easy way out when there was something else I could have done. It made me feel bad and looked down on, and I thought maybe if everybody understood they would know how it was. So yeah, I ran on and on trying to tell the story of how bad things can be, all the things that happen, trying to explain for my own self, nothing to do with you or anyone else. For me there was nothing left to do, and I added your parents, taking up for them too. It took a lot for me to admit this and tell my story, trying to help somebody else and now I feel like a fool who should have kept quiet. But anyway I'm sorry, and I didn't mean anything by it really.

*reminds self why I don't post on this forum

 

[Justified]

aww come on now guys no fighting. this was about me being irresponsible with my credit and the realities of it setting in. i appreciate all of your comments and suggestions. what works for one person may or may not work for another.

 

[Justified]

well here is the latest update.

come Aug 31, 04 the lease in my apt will be up. my roommate will be moving in with her boyfriend and i will be forced to find a new roommate. this lives me with a few options.

suck it up and tuck the tail in between my legs and move back home with the folks for a short time until i pay the debt off and start to look for ways to buy a home.

move in with my male friends who are at this time on my nerves.
(i have no single female friends left)

post an ad on a rent site and look for a roommate.

things to think about.

 

[bluephisto]

Omg it's so nice to read this. Student loan is totally on my back, I have two credit cards, a cell phone ... *sigh* I'm still living with my parents again which I HATE, I'm used to being on my own and it's a huge compromise.

I have TWO, count em, TWO jobs that bore me to freaking tears and neither of them are giving me enough hours. I'm thinking of working full time graveyards at a gas station just to be able to pay my bills.

*sigh*

I wanna crawl under a rock.

 

[oliveu2cm]

well here is the latest update.

come Aug 31, 04 the lease in my apt will be up. my roommate will be moving in with her boyfriend and i will be forced to find a new roommate. this lives me with a few options.

suck it up and tuck the tail in between my legs and move back home with the folks for a short time until i pay the debt off and start to look for ways to buy a home.

move in with my male friends who are at this time on my nerves.
(i have no single female friends left)

post an ad on a rent site and look for a roommate.

things to think about.

move home! well, i have roommates now who i didn't know before, and I lucked out in the sense they don't steal my clothes, but at least you know your parents will do the dishes & stuff like that

but it's good to save your money. if my parents weren't 2 hours from my job I'd have moved home in August to save money.