Official Cricket Thread Part 99.94

[Axver]

I actually can't believe I'm typing this, but Maxwell, on his eighth ball of the innings, an innings you're 600 runs in arrears with four and a bit sessions to save a Test, tried a fucking reverse sweep and was nearly bowled. He was out lbw four balls later.

You cannot be for real.

I actually don't believe you.

 

[intedomine]

I think Australia has been well and truly spoilt for success this century. Nothing wrong with having a few more lean years.

Credit to Pakistan - just a shame that they can't win in front of their own fans!


Sent from a barge floating through the docks of Dublin

 

[cobl04]

Warner though. Major respect.

 

[dan_smee]

Maxwell was born a fair few chromosomes short. He's fine enough in T20 - I can understand his ODI selection (but wouldn't myself), but this is Test fucking cricket. He is by far the worst player we've ever given a baggy green to. Let alone worst picked to bat 3, or worst to open both the batting and bowling in a test, worst to sniff a real cricketers jock strap. Fucking hate him.


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[MadForIt]

Hahaha hope Nz put up a better show than Aus. Starts tomorrow vs Pak.

 

[cobl04]

if you think we struggled... Pak is 0/158 vs NZ

gonna be an ugly three-Test series.

 

[Axver]

Great end to the Australia vs South Africa T20 series, with Australia winning the third game and the series off the second-to-last ball with two wickets to spare. The Aussies looked comfortable with five overs to go but the South African bowling really began to pin them down and apply the pressure... and then Parnell was given the ball for the penultimate over, which was a simply baffling decision. Kyle Abbott would've had the batsmen in all sorts of trouble (as he did once he finally got the ball in the last over, a tad too late). Still, entertaining finish.

Though listening to Shane Warne commentate was excruciating. Every joke he repeated three or four times in case you hadn't already heard it and rolled your eyes at how lame it was. He also has that infuriating habit of using silly nicknames and slang that's fine on field between players but has little place in professional commentary.

It's nice - and a very welcome change - to hear a female voice on the commentary team too. Shame the lads barely let her get a word in most of the time, and when they did it was just for some sort of fairly empty special comment rather than letting her call any of the play. I'd have much rathered to hear whatever she had to say than having to hear Shane Warne reference the Ministry of Silly Walks for the umpteenth time to describe one bowler's barely distinctive run-up.

 

[cobl04]

Did not enjoy the series much, I must say. Didn't see the first one, the second one was a perfect example of T20 being a shithouse variant of the sport because the game was over from well before the first innings even ended. Shane Watson's hitting in that game was good to watch but he got so comfortable that he started joking with the commentators and was out balls later trying to slog at the behest of Shane Warne. That whole sight was just so offensive to me as a cricket fan. Tonight's game meandered along and was interesting enough towards the end, and Kyle Abbott seems a good bowler, but there were some fucking atrocious shots from the Aussies and it just wasn't that good to watch.

Meg Lanning is a great find in the comm box, shame Shane Watson got more fucking airtime than she did. I loved Warne's early stints as a commentator but he was awful tonight, the Silly Walks being a standout. And JB just needs to stick to footy.

 

[Axver]

I can't wait for the day Shane Watson is dropped or quits. Should've happened years ago.

 

[cobl04]

Wrong. I don't like him either but he's in our best XI.

 

[Axver]

Nah I reckon he's past it now, especially when he doesn't bowl. A few years ago he may have earned a place despite being the biggest twat in world cricket, but now it's time he moved on.

 

[dan_smee]

Wrong. I don't like him either but he's in our best XI.

He isn't in my best NSW XI


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[cobl04]

^ well that's flat-out ridiculous.

Look, I don't like him much. There's a reason his nickname is Twatto. I love it when he plays a big shot on 96 and gets caught. But you can't let personal hatred blind you.

Batting at three, he's made 749 runs at 41.6 with two tons and four 50s.

Since the start of the English Ashes, he's made 828 Test runs at 39, which, I'd hazard a guess without looking, tops everyone but Warner, Smith and Clarke. He also got 176 in the first innings of the fifth Test of the English Ashes.

Rogers
Warner
Watson
Clarke
Smith
Marsh
Haddin
Johnson
Siddle
Lyon
Harris

That's the XI I'd be going with for the first Test at the Gabba. Would rather see Hughes in there ahead of Marsh but unlikely given Marsh got runs in the UAE.

 

[Axver]

The thing is, the value of a player is in part whether you can imagine the team's results being different without him. Drop Watson, replace him with Hughes, and I can't see Australia performing any differently. Drop Clarke or Johnson, for instance, and you've got a team that's clearly weaker and more vulnerable. But even when Twatto performs, he's not a game changer and it's in conditions where most other players would also perform. In essence, opposition teams aren't thinking "oh shit him" when Watson comes out to bat.

 

[cobl04]

I would think India would be far more fearful of Watson than Hughes.

 

[dan_smee]

^ well that's flat-out ridiculous.

Look, I don't like him much. There's a reason his nickname is Twatto. I love it when he plays a big shot on 96 and gets caught. But you can't let personal hatred blind you.

Batting at three, he's made 749 runs at 41.6 with two tons and four 50s.

Since the start of the English Ashes, he's made 828 Test runs at 39, which, I'd hazard a guess without looking, tops everyone but Warner, Smith and Clarke. He also got 176 in the first innings of the fifth Test of the English Ashes.

Rogers
Warner
Watson
Clarke
Smith
Marsh
Haddin
Johnson
Siddle
Lyon
Harris

That's the XI I'd be going with for the first Test at the Gabba. Would rather see Hughes in there ahead of Marsh but unlikely given Marsh got runs in the UAE.

See, I challenge the value of these runs. He almost always fails when the pressure is on, and goes big in second innings when we already have a substantial lead. In terms of 'hard' runs, he just doesn't have the ticker that you expect from an Aussie test player. I don't think that is unfair, and I don't think it is ridiculous. Henriques is more reliable these days, and I don't have room in any team for two fast-medium all-rounders.

My NSW team would be something like:

Warner
Maddinson
Smith
Clarke
Haddin
Henriques
Nevill
Copeland
Starc
Hazelwood
Lyon

Which of these would I drop for Twattson? He is unreliable, and doesn't dig in in tough situations. I don't need his bowling - I have 4 seamers, a spinner and 3 part-time spinners. Maddinson is the only one close, but even he has a very similar first-calss batting record to Watson, but has the fact he is 22 and getting better each year on his side. Nevill? Nah - look at his first class record. Better conversion rate of 100s, 4 years younger.

I can't justify putting Watson in for any of those guys, and I've left out Bollinger, Carters, Sandhu etc

 

[dan_smee]

Also, Rogers has to be on his last legs. I know he was wonderful at the right time, but he has max 1 year left, and you have to be harder on awful form for a 37 year old than you do on a 24 year old

 

[cobl04]

I'd swap Maddinson or Henriques out for Watson without blinking an eye.

Team for the first ODI vs South Africa

Warner
Finch
Watson
Clarke
Bailey
Marsh
Maxwell
Wade
Johnson
Coulter-Nile
Hazelwood

SMith is the 12th man, which is preposterous.

Also, can't be long before Behrendorff and Rimmington get a gig in Australian colours. They've both got 13 wickets in the Shield so far (which WA is dominating), which is the best in the comp.

 

[dan_smee]

I'd swap Maddinson or Henriques out for Watson without blinking an eye.

Team for the first ODI vs South Africa

Warner
Finch
Watson
Clarke
Bailey
Marsh
Maxwell
Wade
Johnson
Coulter-Nile
Hazelwood

SMith is the 12th man, which is preposterous.

Also, can't be long before Behrendorff and Rimmington get a gig in Australian colours. They've both got 13 wickets in the Shield so far (which WA is dominating), which is the best in the comp.

Henriques injured, but was on track to be the player if the matador cup. Maddison is actually a batsman. Watson can't make hard runs, period.

I've had wraps on rimmington - can bat a bit too. Behrendorf should be a walk up in our next T20 - don't know why they persist with Bollinger.

Smith dropped for ODI squad - Watson in? Dafuq?


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[Axver]

Why the hell would you select Watson (or, to be honest, a fair few of the others) over Smith? I hated the guy but Smith's matured into a good player.

I'd definitely take Maddinson over Watson too, in that Maddinson is future talent and needs to be developed while Watson is an ugly past we need to forget.

And I'm really surprised Bollinger is still managing to get a nod in any form of international cricket ...

 

[cobl04]

We might as well drop it, since we're not going to agree. Watson is firmly in my best XI, and Ian Chappell, possibly the best cricket mind we have left, agrees.

Agree on Bollinger, though.

In other news, NZ got thrashed by Pakistan, Bangladesh have a new record opening stand of 224, and Rohit Sharma last night hit 264 off 173 balls, 33 fours, nine sixes, in an ODI against Sri Lanka. There have now been four double ODI centuries, all Indian, and Sharma has two of them, the other one came against Australia in November.

 

[Axver]

That knock by Sharma is just insane.

 

[cobl04]

Fuck I love Dale Steyn. Gets Clarke out with a bouncer and then welcomes George Bailey to the crease with a bouncer that flies off the back of his shoulder for four leg byes.

Also... I personally think Clarke should be the one who makes way for Smith

 

[cobl04]

you know what else is fucking ridiculous? Maxwell bats at 3 in Test cricket but 8 in an ODI. what fucking cunt monkeys are running Aus cricket

 

[Vlad n U 2]

South Africa always end up looking really underwhelming whenever I watch them play.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

In fact, they look bloody average.

 

[Salome]

Also... I personally think Clarke should be the one who makes way for Smith

At the moment, definitely.
I love Clarke and all, but he looks nowhere near getting any sort of score at the moment.

 

[dan_smee]

Clarke is in bad form, no doubt, but my god people love to hate him so much that they jump on his grave this quickly. His last ODI before this one he scored 68*, and the last test in SA before the Pakistan tour he scored 161*. I think we can pretty much write off all the batting in Pakistan because we can't replace everyone. Really, the quality he is, and the massive amounts of runs he's scored in the last 3 years it is embarrassing that people are seriously talking about him making way.

Maxwell in Tests full stop is a joke. No Aussie cricketer has dis-honoured the baggy green as much as the way he plays cricket. I think Clarke batted him three to make a point to the dumbshit selectors who put him in there in the first place.

"You dropped my number 3. Seriously? Well, I suppose we have Phil Hughes, and he was in amazing form in the A tour before South Africa. Fair Enough. You're picking WHO?!?!?! Fuck's sake. At least I've got two front-line spinners. They have three and we've seen how well they are bowling. Picking Starc.... really? Well, Sidds has been pretty ineffective.... You're dropping WHO????!!! Well how the fuck to you expect me to a win a test with this bunch of muppets?"

 

[cobl04]

Good ODI tonight. I'm actually a bit rejuvenated with the format of late, pretty excited for what's coming up. Disagree that they looked average, Vlad. Their fielding was fucking terrible, had they held onto catches they would have won easily. And de Villiers and Miller really impressed with their batting in those middle overs, they took South Africa from a position where it looked like it was going to be over in half an hour to one where they were in with a really good chance at winning. Steyn probably cost them the game running out de Villiers. And geez I enjoyed Morkel and Tahir putting on 30-odd at the end and frustrating Australia.

As for Clarke... you're absolutely right about him Dan but I just don't know if he is in our best ODI XI. Averaging 36 this year and 37 the year before, with one ton and two fifties in that time. His strike rate has always been laborious (which would have been fine in the 80s, 90s, 00s etc but in this day and age is a hindrance) and clearly his best form of the game is Tests - with his susceptible back it seems silly to me that he keeps playing ODIs, particularly when we have a wealth of players who can step into the fold.

I guess the point is kinda moot now anyway, he did his hammy again and might not even be right for the Gabba depending on results. In that case I have to say, BEGRUDGINGLY, Watson would be my pick for captain. He led well in India when Clarke was absent.

 

[Axver]

Watson shouldn't be the captain for opening a packet of chips.