We need some quality humour in this thread. So I shall provide a Fawlty Towers joke!
Hotel owner Basil Fawlty and the hearing impaired guest Mrs Richards are up in the room she booked, arguing because she's dissatisfied.
Mrs Richards: And another thing, I asked for a room with a view
Basil:
Deaf, mad, and blind. This is the view as far as I can remember, madam ... yes, yes, this is the view.
R: I expected something more interesting than that.
B: That is Torquay, madam.
R: That's not good enough.
B: Well may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a
Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically -
R: Don't be silly. I expected to be able to see the sea.
B: You
can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
R: I'd need a telescope to see that.
B: Well may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea
or preferably in it.
R: Now listen to me. I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here. However, I shall expect a reduction.
B: Why? Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment?