an assortment of thoughts + "a new hope..."

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lady luck said:
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Do you play football or just love watching it?

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I used to want to play when I was younger. But I don't have the body for it, I'm too short. I'm just over 5'8''. I don't know what that is in centimeters off the top of my head.

But I have always been a fan of it.

I had thought about being a coach at one point, because I don't mind stratagies and what not. And whenever I play a football videogame, I get very carried away...

I had done a summer camp for it in highschool.... but.... I never joined the team - I never did a lot of things for a lot of reasons in high school....


A question for you to think about:

if your name is to be remembered in the future, what do you would like to be associated to?QUOTE]

good question.....

Some people are bent on being remembered. I don't really care, honestly...... but....

that is no disrespect towards your question.
I will answer it when I get the chance.


until then
 
Actually, I just wrote this somewhere else. I hope that some of these things get remembered when they think of me, hahaha


Things You Like About You Sep 15, 05 at 07:18AM



My values, my standards.
And how I maintain them in a rather uncompromising way.

Commitments to truth and integrity. Commitments themselves...


I'm really happy about my mindset these days - I've developed a standpoint, be it philosophical or logical or something else, where I am confident about what and who I am, what I want, what I don't want, what it takes, etc. Knowing more of who I am, the very essence. Sometimes going full circle doesn't make and progress when it comes ti displacement, but depth and expansion may be there. It just might take time to notice it.

I suppose what I'm most proud of is my pride.

I can see myself, being a weaker person, to have fallen into alcohal, or other drugs in my youth. I've spent a lot of time in extreme solitude, so I've kept away from hanging around with many people who would have been... not so good choices to hang around with. Yet also, I haven't allowed my isolation to take away my confidence in the face of other people.

Yeah, so, without getting in to it too much more, my personal strength. That is what I like most about myself. The intangibiles


PS - being able to accept my mistakes, my drive for efficiency, my sense of beauty, the ablity to be a team player and a leader, my interest in people/culture. Let's see... oh yeah, I like how I go about choosing things...


My family values, my quest for the honest truth and justice, things like that.

But when I have more time, I will do a *complete* list,

mwa ha ha :macdevil:
:wink:

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PS - there should be something about my appreciation of women..... but that will take some elaboration. :hmm:


PPS-

AH!

how could I forget!!!!


Loyalty
 
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lady luck said:
Already awake??


Yes, I'm up early today - woke up at 525 AM

went for a walk with my stepmother in the dark!
haha

but it was good.


I got to bed before 10pm, which is rare!
 
Hmm, I wonder what is inspiring all your deep questions?


I'll get back to you on this last one...
I'm not sure at the moment
 
I want a digital camera so I can get my own images up here.........



But I do like your new avatar, even if it makes me jealous :wink:
I hope things work out for you two

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my new signature....... well, that will take a lot of explaining........

hmmm..... :hmm:
 
I will elaborate tomorrow - I'm super tired at the moment.


basically, it is about my ideals, my goals, what I strive for. BUt the image is a representation of "love", in a sense. It has meaning to me, though I don't know if anyone else can understand it. I did it for myself, because I like it.

But anyhow....


the main intention as to have a combination of

"day by day........"
and
"love"



That sort of enduring sense that I particularly adore.
But there are many peices to it all, as you see.........
but it's one of those great things that, to me, is much, much more


than the sum of it's parts

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I promise a more complete explanation tomorrow, though.

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I'm tired, and plesantly full of great food.

I went to my local Dragon Buffet (Chinese food), and it was great. I think I had 5 plates, and I wish I could have had more. Wow, that is great stuff....

:drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Great food, service, decent company, nice atmosphere, pretty waitresses, it has everthing :)



:sleepy:

........ goodnight........
 
FOR HONOR" -(NU)- Not the Victory but the Action; Not the Goal but the Game; In the Deed the Glory - - "What more, in the name of Love?" PRIDE
 
For Honor said:

But I do like your new avatar, even if it makes me jealous :wink:
I hope things work out for you two


:wink:
I hope the same, me too!

And yep, the digital camera is great!!

Though in fact the pic you see wasn't taken with a digital camera, but with a common one -- than I scanned it!
 
Ah.........


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Now, the "invisible" words in my signature are all a refernce to things I like.


That quote, "Not the Victory but the Action; Not the Goal but the Game; In the Deed the Glory"

Comes from, oddly enough, a college football team here in the USA. The Nebraska Cornhuskers, which, of course, are my favorite team.

Those words, I believe, are inscribed on the stadium wall, and are supposed to be a tribute to the code that the players and fans, and people of the state of Nebraska uphold. Don't get me wrong, everyone is human in Nebraska like anywhere else on earth, but that sort of code of ethics, and reference to honor, was something that instantly attracted me.

It may be trivial, or not really important in the big scope of things, but, I like ideals like that. I hope I can follow things like that when I live my life, but I know that I'm human, too.


Also from Nebraska is

"Day by day, we get better and better
A team that can't be beat, won't be beat"


Specifically, I wanted that phrase, "Day by day......"
to go with the image, the pictures I have there

That image (it is the same for all of the images)
is, to me, a representation of love, or at least something like that.

And, in my mind, it all comes together to represent
A love that grows better and gets stronger everyday, a true team that ... makes progress together. All those ideals there.....

maybe, my ideal, my dream of what love is.

Lofty, yeah, I know. But so be it. I'm willing to work for that dream.....




I threw in a reference to PRIDE because that is my favorite song, and there is a lot of references, in that song, to things I like, and what it means to do things "in the name of love". So, that was fitting, in my mind.

So, 2 Nebraska quotes, a PRIDE reference, and an image.
"FOR HONOR", well..... I don't know. Maybe that is supposed to be a stamp of approval or something.

Maybe it was a sad attempt at trying to associate myself, in some way, to what it is I may strive for. I really don't know.

Putting my signature together was..... was like a puzzle. Those peices fit, and looked right, so I decided on that. Most things I create, or keep, have sentimental meanings to me, and I don't expect other people to get them most of the time, so it doesn't bother me.

Everything is really open to every individuals interpretation.

Maybe, to someone who hates Nebraska, my signature means something else. but it doesn't really matter, it's my signature, and I made it for myself. I can't expect everyone to like it, or what have you. It's none of my business what others think about it, honestly.




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You asked me a while ago....


what do I want to be remembered for, or whatever. Something like that. What do I want people to think of when they remember me.......



Well, I think a big part of my answer to that question is:

I want people to remember not neccesarily what I do, or do not. But why - the reason for why I have my actions, thoughts, or dreams.



subconsciously..... I realize that that is what means the most to me, generally. So I guess it makes sense that I would want people to remember

what I value most, what I fuss about the most, what I am most critical of, what I consider to be the most important.

BUt then again, my answer is probably only partial. It's never just about... one thing........

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PS: The words "Day by day... we get better and beter....."
are actually a link to an audio clip.

It scared me, the first time I heard it, because I wasn't expecting it. But what it is, is a clip taken from the team getting pumped up to play a big game.

The Nebraska...... it's some sort of a victory..... well, I don't want to say a prayer, but, something like that.....

I'll try to find it.


But to me, the audio clip was pretty impressive, very motivational now that I know what it is. So it's another peice to that puzzle, perhaps.........
 
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The Chant:
Dear Lord in the battles as we go through life;
We ask for a field that's fair.
As chance that's equal to all in the strife;
The courage to do it or dare.
If we should win, let it be by the code;
With our faith and honor held high.
If we should lose, let us stand by the rules;
And cheer as the winners go by.
Day by day we get better and better;
A team that can't be beat, won't be beat.

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I believe that is it
 
Curious origin, but interesting story.

I was wondering if the importance you give to honor is something you were taught or if it is something that comes from inside you.

Both way, it is a valuable thing -- having ideals, keeoing an eye on what it is important for us and having principles on whom you rely to live your life.

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You know, the words "day by day" made me think about a nice book by Roddy Doyle called "Oh play that thing". The context is completely different, but there's a quite crazy girl in the story that keeps repeating "I'm getting better and better, every day, in every way" through all the story.
 
The real reason I put those things in sky blue was.........


because I wanted to create space between the solid line and my signature


if you look above my sig, or anyone else's, there is a line, like this


________________


I didn't want my words right underneath it, like this


_________
day by day

[/quote]

I wanted this

[quote]
__________


day by day
[img]
[/quote]


Just a...... an aesthetic thing or whatever. I'm funny about things like that, little details.

But, it worked out well, as not, my full sig space is used, every pixel of space, and I like that, too.
 
Funny!

I am DEFINETELY moving away from home...

Now I am COMPLETELY sure it is the right thing to do.

Yesterday I had the most disappointing conversation I've ever had with my family and I had the confirm that I must leave that house.

I am so :mad: and angry about it -- even if I concealed it better when the conversation took place.

At times I wonder how's possible I am the daughter of my parents...

I know that maybe it is all due to the fact I coukd have an education while the couldn't, but it is really scaring when the way you think about fundamental things is completely different from the rest of your family...
 
You are good because you asked about everything, and didn't overlook what was "hidden"

At times I wonder how's possible I am the daughter of my parents...

Yeah, I know that feeling. Sometimes I wonder how I can be the son of my parents. I can see bits and peices, but I don't feel a ..... a "familiar" connection...


Everyhing going alright with your move - out?
 
shouldn't you be sleeping at 4.56 am, kid????

I still haven't told my family I am going away, but I will soon.
And I don't give a thing for what they will reply.

I am so angry and disappointed for what happened.
I think I'll stay in the office today till late because I really don't want to have dinner with the ret of my family.
I know it's not very mature, but I really don't have the strength now to start a new battle.
 
Kid?

I'm not techichally a kid anymore, but I understand what you mean. And I woke up early, and stayed up late, so yeah...... I am on a sort of vacation, besides all that.



I hope things work out well for you.


Hey, it is very mature sometimes to not put yourself in situations that could turn.... nasty. Sometimes if you know something is inevitable, and unneccesary, you don't need to amplifiy things. Just as long as you are not avoiding major issues too much.

Good luck, though :up:
 
I don't need luck... I AM luck!:tongue:

and yes, I know you're not a kid -- it was just a joke!
 
I hope you are not disappointed with me..
If I wrote something that annoyed you, I apologize!

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Anyway, this morning I saw the car I am probably gonna buy second hand! Can't wait for it!!!

You know, from the moment I started making plans, I started feeling good!
It's probably because I see where are my goals and have to try to reach them..

It's so great!!

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Yesterday I got quite irritating: some guys of Amnesty and me were supposed to meet an actress tonight. she offers to perform a show for us, but unfortunately it is not a show that we can associate to, even if it deals with torture. It would be too complex to find a way to introduce it.
Anyway, 4 people, including me, were supposed to meet her. we asked her to come with us to a Pizzeria. she accepted, but gave the confirmation just yesterday. This morning I checked my mail just to know that the 3 other guys won't come because of a seriers of events.
I was seriously annoyed... I mean, I think I am not able to deal with such a thing alone!

But then... something happened in my mind.
I remember someone saying me: "count just on yourself"... And I started seeing that, in some ways, I can rearrange this all alone.
It won't be the same, but I think it could work.
Or, at least, I hope so!

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They are doing a test here in Milan this morning with the simulation of a terroristic attack. There is such a mess around...
Planes, ambulances, firefighters, sirens... it's scaring...
 
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