AI Recaps-April 10th
The Top 8 Perform
Tonight our Idol hopefuls live a vida loca and perform songs with a Latin flavor. To guide our contestants salsa style, Jennifer Lopez joins us. What? They couldn’t get Gloria Estefan or Ricky Martin? Does J-Lo have a new CD to promote? Or course, she does. J-Lo greets the contestants wearing a silvery dress from the Princess Leia collection of club couture, and a every single silver bangle from the Claire’s Boutique at the Galleria Mall. But onto the performances.
Melinda (Sway)-First, on a shallow note, I loved her dress. Finally, my girl is out of the frump wear and is wearing a dress that is very becoming. She was both sultry and sexy (despite her protestations), and I think she sounded wonderful and had fun with the song. Is this her best performance? Hardly, but Melinda on her worst night sounds vastly better than some contestants on their best. I also like how she can take criticism like an adult. Her remark about finally getting critical remarks from Simon was both funny and charming. Recent bootee, the singing Cabbage Patch doll Chris Sligh, could learn from her on how to handle Mr. Grumpy Pants’ comments with a bit of style and wit.
LaKisha (Conga)-KiKi claims she auditioned for AI to make a better life for her daughter. That sounds about right. I can’t imagine her audtioning so she could snort coke with Lindsay Lohan in a bathroom stall at the Viper Room. LaKisha’s performance? Well, I hate to say it, but I was bored. And LaKisha seemed bored, too. This song is fun and sassy, but it came across like she was just phoning it in. And I expect more from her. Yes, her voice sounded fabulous as usual, but I just wasn’t thrilled by her performance. And if Paula starts her critique telling you that you look lovely, then your performance sucked.
Chris R (Smooth)-Once again, the Chosen One, gets some pimpage-a percussionist and a guitarist. Wearing a shirt Billy Idol lost at a concert circa 1983, Chris sings this Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas song. For some reason, I could barely hear him. Of course, this could be a blessing. Plus, he seemed so smarmy while delivering this song. Paula found it hot, but I found it skeevy, like Chris was going to give my television an STD. And just so you know Simon, the reason why it sounds contemporary is because it’s only a few years old. It wasn’t a hit when your favorite punching bag, Sanjaya, was a twinkle in his daddy’s eye.
Haley (Turn the Beat Around)-This was such a cruise ship performance. I thought Gopher and Julie were going to come out on-stage, and Isaac was going to serve me a drink. Like Chris R before her, Haley seemed to get drowned out by Bandzilla, and half the time I couldn’t understand a word she was singing. She also sounded very rushed. Yea, Haley had fun, but my ear drums sure didn’t. However, I’m sure her legs of victory will keep her around.
Phil (Maria, Maria)-The singing muppet didn’t add any soul or life to this song. He didn’t seem to connect with the lyrics, and you all know how I hate a lack of connection with the lyrics. And though his upper register is very powerful, his lower register is such a dirge. His performance was so flat and lifeless that I wanted to announce him DOA. I can’t see him surving. I think he might get the Idol boot.
Jordin (Rhythm is Going to Get You)-Jordin would love an 80s music theme night. She’s definitely a girl after my own heart. However, she doesn’t seem to be after my vote. Though her voice sounded top notch, her performance lacked energy. The rhythm may get me, but Jordin’s performance certainly did not. It was like she was sleepwalking through her performance. I hope she can pull through next week. I want her to live up to her last name, Sparks, instead of being a dying ember.
Blake (I Need to Know)-Well, I loved this performance. Both Blake’s vocals and stage skills were in fine form. This was the perfect song choice for him. I thought he might add some beat boxing to this song, but fortunately, he left it out. Awesome perfomance, and quite sexy, too! I might have even liked it more than Melinda’s.
Sanjaya (Besame Mucho)-Apparently my mom gave Sanjaya a bad Toni home perm (love ya, mom). Okay, I’ll give Sanjaya some credit for singing in Spanish. Some contestants can’t handle singing in English. And his voice wasn’t horrible. His softer quality actually worked for the song. However, I was completely unnerved by his underage eye shagging of the camera. And because I’m not Mary Kay Letourneau, I don’t find that much of a turn-on.
I thought Latin night was a big margarita of meh. It wasn’t quite as horrific as “Gwen Stefani’s iPod” night, but it came awfully close. This could have been such a fun, unique night, but a majority of the contestants just didn’t bring it. I’m sure I’ll hate myself for not hating Sanjaya’s performance with the fiery intensity of 10,000 suns. I actually liked his performance over Haley’s and Phil’s less than thrilling performances. Yep, the teflon contestant will probably survive. I’m not so sure about Legs and Nosferatu. Results night should be interesting.