Shuttlecock! Part V - Helping 'cock across the road like a little old lady

[the tourist]

With assists from Little Lord Piss and El Mel:

I look into Thom's eyes
They're lazy but I see something
A moderator told me why
I laugh when interlanders cry

The body count grows and grows
It frightens me you know
I stabbed a man on my way home
Turns out his name was Noel

Knife Crime.....
Knife Crime, lost my way
Knife Crime....can't find my knife

In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed

I'm stabbing in the rain
I'm causing inteference pain
It's all, it's everything
I'm trolling through the skin

Knife Crime.....
Knife Crime, lost my way
Knice Crime
Knife Crime....can't find my knife

Can't find your knife
Can't find my knife
Can't find your knife

KNIFE CRIME, sharpened knife
KNIFE CRIME, Liam be my wife
KNIFE CRIME, sharpened knife
KNIFE CRIME can't find my knife

In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed

If only the syllables lined up better....

 

[lazarus]

Hey, they can't all be "Sometimes You Can't Serve It On Your Own".

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

"Shuttling To Stand Still" was the best, I think.

 

[LMP]

With assists from Little Lord Piss and El Mel:

I look into Thom's eyes
They're lazy but I see something
A moderator told me why
I laugh when interlanders cry

The body count grows and grows
It frightens me you know
I stabbed a man on my way home
Turns out his name was Noel

Knife Crime.....
Knife Crime, lost my way
Knife Crime....can't find my knife

In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed

I'm stabbing in the rain
I'm causing inteference pain
It's all, it's everything
I'm trolling through the skin

Knife Crime.....
Knife Crime, lost my way
Knice Crime
Knife Crime....can't find my knife

Can't find your knife
Can't find my knife
Can't find your knife

KNIFE CRIME, sharpened knife
KNIFE CRIME, Liam be my wife
KNIFE CRIME, sharpened knife
KNIFE CRIME can't find my knife

In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed
In the shadow.....Noel gets stabbed

Christ.

That gave me a sharp pain in my side, and it wasn't that of a bare bodkin, bitches.

Hamlitteration ftw.

 

[lazarus]

You may be right.

http://www.u2interference.com/forums/f287/shuttlecock-192262-21.html#post5751218

 

[No spoken words]

Sorry Laz, but the best thing on that page is Ackbar's debut appearance.

 

[impy13]

I really need to put my Safe Search back on for Google Images before I try to find things for this thread.

 

[Dalton]

I really need to put my Safe Search back on for Google Images before I try to find things for this thread.

Why was it off? Dirty.

 

[Dalton]

 

[LMP]

Sorry Laz, but the best thing on that page is Ackbar's debut appearance.

What? Oasis Kid put up a picture of his hands?

 

[martha]

 

[No spoken words]

If only the syllables lined up better....

Comedic focus > songwriting structure in this environment

 

[LMP]

Comedic focus > songwriting structure in this environment

Nice excuse, baldhead.

 

[impy13]

Why was it off? Dirty.

When the goatse calls, you gotta accept the charges.

 

[phillyfan26]

One of Laz's greats:

Shuttling to Stand Still

And so she moved up
Moved up from where she was, left side
Said we got to do something about this cock coming
Step on a base line
Get to the cock in time
Maybe charge from the backcourt to the net
Serving all la la la de day
All la la la de day

Sweet the shuttle
But bitter the cock in my mouth
I see seven points
But I only see we're one down
You got to swing without missing
Drop without netting
Return without losing your poise, you know
I took the racquet, from the racquet case
Then I smashed it out of here
Serving all la la la de day
Serving all la la la de day

She runs 'cross the court
With cock painted red
Under black belly of refs to be blamed
In the locker room she brings me
White towel and ben-gay stolen from the sea
She is charging
She is charging and the cock hits her right in the eyes
She will suffer the racquet chill
She is shuttling to stand still.

(jew's harp solo)

 

[phillyfan26]

I'm trying to remember all of the songs Laz wrote in Shuttlecock form:

Sometimes You Can't Serve It on Your Own
Miracle Cock
Love Is Badminton
Where the Cocks Have No Game
Shuttling to Stand Still
I Still Haven't Found Cock I'm Looking For

 

[Dalton]

(jew's harp solo)

You're a G-ddamned racist.

 

[phillyfan26]

Actually, Laz is. I just copied and pasted.

 

[LMP]

Actually, Laz is. I just copied and pasted.

 

[impy13]

Two things I've noticed today:

1. Hearing someone blaring "Wonderwall" in their car when I went to the store to pay my gas bill just made me laugh.

2. I can't play Call of Duty and knife someone without thinking of KNIFE CRIME.

Oh, the things this place does to a man.

 

[phillyfan26]

Alright, you got me. I'm an anti-semite.

Fuckin' Hyman Roth, dude.

 

[impy13]

Not as antisemitic as Mel Gibson.

Granted, I did like Acockalypto.

 

[phillyfan26]

There are random things that make me think of this place everyday. I think the best was when a teacher asked me if I was going to compete in the school badminton tournament.

 

[No spoken words]

The worst for me is that at least once a week at work, someone says to someone else "Ok, is that confirmed?" and I have to stifle a laugh. Sad.

 

[phillyfan26]

I have begun talking about knife crime, which is just fantastic.

 

[No spoken words]

Knife Crime is so deep into my psyche that it's only a matter of days before I toss it out there in a meeting.

 

[LMP]

Not as antisemitic as Mel Gibson.

Granted, I did like Acockalypto.

A guy gets a bee's nest thrown in his face and it's not Nicolas Cage. That's fucking rad.

There are random things that make me think of this place everyday. I think the best was when a teacher asked me if I was going to compete in the school badminton tournament.

The worst for me is that at least once a week at work, someone says to someone else "Ok, is that confirmed?" and I have to stifle a laugh. Sad.

Okay, okay, we listened to a Kate Bush song in Lit class to talk about feminism.

 

[phillyfan26]

We read a play entirely based on the book of Job right as I was getting into Arrested Development.

Jake wins.

 

[LMP]

We read a play entirely based on the book of Job right as I was getting into Arrested Development.

Jake wins.

Check your lease, pal.

 

[u2popmofo]

I just played catch up on 9 pages or so, there were way too many hilarious comments to mention them all. Well done, everyone.

That's not a knife crime, now THAT's a knife crime!
~Cockodile Dundee