i build you up to pull you down, tie you to a stick and watch you drown

[Zoomerang96]

a little bit of knowledge will destroy you.

hey guys

i'm gonna shower you with shallow, but endless praise for something you don't at all deserve.

no, actually i won't.

why, you ask?

well, for a start, noone asked.

secondly...

this is precisely what's wrong with north american culture. especially with kids. parents heap far too much praise on their children for ridiculous things that deserve no mention at all.

this results in a culture of entitlement as they get older, with the children feeling as though they're deserving of recognition for every pathetic little deed they put out.

ridiculous.

handing out shallow praise does not make the world better, it makes it worse.

there's a saying that everyone knows that goes "if you haven't anything good to say, then say nothing at all."

that's fair. i can live with that.

but how about we add an amendment to that, that goes a little something like this:

"if you have something good to say about someone else, only say it if it doesn't make you come across as a total twat."

when did this start anyway? don't tell me it's always been like this.

this wishy washy bullshit where everything is fine and dandy, doesn't fly with me. no way. if you see someone with a new haircut and you think it looks dreadful, don't go out of your way to say "oh susan, i just LOVE what you did to your hair!"

rather say nothing at all, and hope that her hair gets better.

nothing is achieved if you say things you don't mean.

and finally

if you find yourself praising a lot of shit, maybe take a step back and ask yourself "was that really necessary? did i really need to congratulate steve for losing 2 pounds since christmas?"

stop wasting your time.

 

[cobl04]

That's a bit pessimistic, man. Praise and optimism goes a long way. You can make someone feel good.

You're telling me if a kid draws a nice little picture, and says to her father, 'daddy, look what i did!' you're going to go 'pfft. nothing special. come back when you do something worthwhile.'

It will make Susan's day if you tell her hair is good. Sure, you may not completey mean it, but how much worse will she feel when you say, ' your hair is shit. get lost.'

Steve lost 2 pounds since Christmas. Good on him.

I agree sometimes shallow ppraise can be cringeworthy, but sometimes it puts a smile on someone's face, and that can mean the world.

stop wasting your time.

 

[BVS]

Plastics, collections
Self help, self pain,
EST, psychics, fuck all

 

[U2Man]

That's a bit pessimistic, man. Praise and optimism goes a long way. You can make someone feel good.

You're telling me if a kid draws a nice little picture, and says to her father, 'daddy, look what i did!' you're going to go 'pfft. nothing special. come back when you do something worthwhile.'

It will make Susan's day if you tell her hair is good. Sure, you may not completey mean it, but how much worse will she feel when you say, ' your hair is shit. get lost.'

Steve lost 2 pounds since Christmas. Good on him.

I agree sometimes shallow ppraise can be cringeworthy, but sometimes it puts a smile on someone's face, and that can mean the world.

stop wasting your time.

if you haven't anything good to say, then say nothing at all

 

[Zoomerang96]

what i'm saying is some people seem willing to bend over backwards to pile praise on unsuspecting subjects and it fosters a culture of entitlement the longer and more frequent this sort of thing happens.

if i post a picture of myself and you think i look like trash, i'm not saying you should call me out on it, but rather say nothing at all.

just don't fake it and say "oh deathbear, you're so cute!"

there's loads of examples i could use, but i'm sure you get the point.

false praise i'm sure is meant with true and good intentions, but i believe it comes with a hefty price.

 

[MsPurrl]

I think that every day is a gift and a miracle; and if there is anything I can do to help my brothers and sisters get through it, I will!

 

[Zoomerang96]

yeah, really that's great.

but you're missing my point.

 

[MsPurrl]

I agree with you Zoom--I don't buy into false praise, either. I've seen pictures that look like mud fences with tadpoles on them, but people gush over how gorgeous they look! But if I can say something that will help build up someone, and mean it, I will!

 

[Bonochick]

Zoomy wasn't hugged enough as a child.

 

[fah]

Zoomy wasn't hugged enough as a child.

I was going with wasn't breastfed as a baby

 

[Zoomerang96]

Zoomy wasn't hugged enough as a child.

would this explain why i don't like touching and kissing and ooh baba baba babaing?

 

[lmjhitman]

oh bear, you're so cute!

no seriously. when ever i see someone's got a new haircut, i'll ask them if they like it and if they do, then i'll just say, 'that's great, i'm glad!' or something. 'cause it doesn't really matter if i like their hair--i'm not the one who has to live with it.

if there's one thing i learned from teaching it's that praise should be measured and specific. effusively saying 'great job!' is just as meaningless as not saying anything at all.

 

[MrBrau1]

duh.

 

[Zoomerang96]

oh bear, you're so cute!

no seriously. when ever i see someone's got a new haircut, i'll ask them if they like it and if they do, then i'll just say, 'that's great, i'm glad!' or something. 'cause it doesn't really matter if i like their hair--i'm not the one who has to live with it.

if there's one thing i learned from teaching it's that praise should be measured and specific. effusively saying 'great job!' is just as meaningless as not saying anything at all.

exactly.

that's why you're so terribly hot and sexy and oh baba baba i just wanna make you go uh uh uhhhhhhhh

ashley simpson said something like that in a tune right?

so then i can too.

woah woah woah

my facebook is making me go crazy

yessir

take two of these with water, then cough, keep it down, don't throw up shut up.

 

[Lancemc]

Children blow.

 

[DrTeeth]

Plastics, collections
Self help, self pain,
EST, psychics, fuck all

This could have been a Haiku.

 

[TripThruUreWires]

just to give some early childhood ed. insight, research has, in fact, established that praise - used indiscriminately and incorrectly - can and will impact children adversely.

i know first-hand. i myself struggle with the ramifications (e.g. chronic insecurity; insatiable need for external affirmation; fear of failure; etc.) of seemingly arbitrary and ineffective use of praise throughout my childhood and adolescence.

the subject needs to be qualified in stating that most parents have nothing but good intentions, raising their children the best they can- the best they know how. it's unfortunate in the case of praise, however, that parental intent doesn't correlate positively to outcome. it's why i'm a huge proponent of children's advocacy and parent education.

it also should be noted that doing away with praise in the rearing of children is not the answer. afterall, if you look at many eastern cultures, they've essentially done away with the notion of praising children, fearful that it invariably leads to arrogance and egocentricity. out-and-out ommission of praise can be equally detrimental to children's future well-being.

the answer ultimately lies in balance and the redefining of praise. parents' and caregivers' best bet is to utilize the technique of encouragment of children's efforts and the teaching of self-evaluation and self-acceptance.

sorry for sounding extraordinarily verbose. i'm just overly passionate about issues relating to children and families.

 

[Zoomerang96]

that's precisely what i'm talking about.

... except worded entirely differently, for effect of course. ha

 

[BVS]

This could have been a Haiku.

Thank Michael Stipe...

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

and finally

if you find yourself praising a lot of shit, maybe take a step back and ask yourself "was that really necessary? did i really need to congratulate steve for losing 2 pounds since christmas?"

stop wasting your time.

:smackshead: this is what I've been doing wrong, god I am such an idiot...

sorry steve