Hey everyone! I just wanted to thank all of you for the responses...and I'm sorry I couldn't respond earlier...I have been ridiculously busy with a summer course.
Hm, so I'm not sure where to start! I decided on not saying anything yet, but when he does do stuff (like ride his bike, or have something healthier for lunch) I do make sure to encourage him in that. And I wanted to clarify, it's not that I had been nagging him, or pressuring him...I wasn't really saying a lot, I felt I was being subtly encouraging, but I wasn't sure if there was another way to go about it. Also, I definitely don't think he is depressed. I struggled with depression a couple of years ago, and so I'm pretty aware of the signs and symptoms. I think it's mostly just being out of the habit of being fit. Once the initial letting go, I think it's a lot harder to start it up again, and so it just gets worse. The thing is, he has been talking about getting back into shape since we first started dating, and only recently has there been an effort, and I was just getting frustrated with him just not doing anything about it. I think I'll wait until school starts, and see what happens. This isn't something that is really bothering me as much...I know I can't demand that he look a certain way (although I don't think I am really trying to change how he looks, just get back to how he looked when he was taking better care of himself).
Oh and I just remembered! Maybe this would change how this situation is seen: I remember him telling me a couple months into our relationship that he would hope that I would tell him if I felt he needed to lose weight; he's seen so many people get married and then gain weight, and at the time of the conversation, it sounded like he didn't want to do the same thing. He also said he would be comfortable letting me know if I just needed to do a bit more exercise. So I took that as being reason to think that he found it important that people in a relationship still make an effort to look good and please the other person. I still find him *incredibly* attractive, so I don't think it's just his looks that were bothering me; my attraction to him is still ridiculous, despite this weight gain, and I would be honest in saying he is still one of the most attractive people I have seen. I think mostly what was bothering me was, that I guess I felt like he should want to do things to look nice for me, or to do things I like (especially when one of those things concerns his own health), and the fact that he didn't seem to want to was bothering me. I don't know if this just sounds stupid, but I'm just being honest...shouldn't someone want to look good for the other person? Especially since he had said before about us being comfortable telling the other person to maybe go to the gym more often. I guess I just don't understand, with that precedent, why he wouldn't be responsive to my voicing my concerns of this very nature. It comes across to me as just not caring about my opinion of him, or that he doesn't care enough to put any real effort into looking good for me. If that makes sense.