1. What nonprurient parts of yourself don’t you show in FYM?
I do find this question baffling. So I’ll just take a stab at what I think it means. And I think the answer is that I am probably more prurient in here than I am in real life, if we are removing the sexual component of the definition for “prurient,” which it seems we are. I am far more aggressive in here than I would be in real life, so in many ways, you all get the worst of me. Though when I do take the time to edit and think about what I’m posting, I’m able to try to acknowledge the other point of view, whereas if I were in an actual heated discussion in real life, I might be more quickly dismissive and would probably use somewhat manipulative body langue, tone, and narrowed eyes to convey my point.
I don’t do that anymore. If you had found me in a pub in Europe the year after I graduated from college and I had drunk a great big chip onto my shoulder that evening, then you might find someone more aggressive than I am in real life, these days. I’ve been mellowed with age.
2. How do you think most of the people on the forum would
describe you? Are they right?
intelligent, articulate, nuanced, willing to dig to get at a deeper truth, self-critical, sometimes funny, often a bit quick on the draw, maybe needs to take a deep breath before posting, occasionally too dismissive, and sometimes too willing to go for the easy, cheap sucker punch than take a step back and be an adult about the situation.
They’d be right, insofar as we’d be discussing these topics in real life.
3. Whom do you think most like in FYM? (not necessarily in
conclusion, but in approach)
I see elements of myself in many posters, but in some ways, I do feel unique in that I don’t find as many people who let their hearts influence their head as much as I do. Or vice versa. So where I admire the well constructed arguments of, say, Yolland or Melon or A_W, they tend to argue from a much more clinical standpoint. Maybe I should just do my homework more, but I find myself unable to articulate a position that doesn’t have some sort of emotional component to it, or that I’ve got some sort of emotional dog in the fight. This is why economic issues don’t interest me as much as, say, war or the run-of-the-mill social issue.
Really thinking about it, perhaps the closest to this meld of head and heart is Sean. Or maybe even Nathan1977. As much as I disagree, I find him a pleasure to read, probably because I respond to his exemplary sensitivity. I usually find myself giving the old
to many of anitram’s posts. Martha often says the things I think but am too chicken to say out loud. And I just plain old like joyfulgirl. And Dread. I also adore many of AngelaHarlem’s posts. No one cuts to the quick of things quite like she does. and i appreciate all non-American posts because I wish we had more of an international perspective in here.
And there are others, too, but too numerous to mention.
4. Who is the alpha on the forum? Why?
probably Yolland, though it’s a rare person who challenges Melon or A_W on a purely factual level. Deep has a strange ability to carry quite a bit of authority in a very unique way.
5. Do you have a tendency to defer to the alpha, challenge the
alpha or stay away?
I think I tend to defer, attempt to tangent to add another wrinkle in the topic, or take issue with something specific. No matter what, I try to choose my battles with said Alpha(s) very carefully.
6. Are you more inclined to post to change minds or explore
differences?
It depends on the topic, time of day, and my present mood. It probably works out more that I’m seeking to change minds, or at least attempting to complicate what I might find to be a simplistic analysis or understanding. So, yeah, probably 80% of the time I’m trying to win hearts and minds, but I find that, by far, my most rewarding experiences in FYM is when I turn the lens back on myself and discover something I never knew existed. It can be like therapy that way.
7. What do you bring to the forum?
Other than my ‘obvious’ social difference, I think I’m probably able to give a sense of emotional urgency to specific topics. I feel like there are many people who do more homework than I do, people who are better at crafting arguments, but what I do think I’m able to do is craft a good-enough argument and add a sense of emotional purpose to it that, I hope, others find compelling. But other than that, I suppose, I’m just another run-of-the-mill city slicker liberal from the northeastern US who thinks he knows what’s best for everybody.