I don't know what laws are like in the states, but here are a few things about liquor laws in Ontario... There's probably a few key differences, since our federal and provincial governments control the distribution of all liquor in Canada, and I don't know how it works in the states but I'm guessing it's not quite the same.
Businesses, whether they are bars or hotels or private corporations who have applied for special events permits cannot serve, sell, or solicit to sell/serve liquor to anyone under the legal drinking age without facing heavy penalties (including but not limited to fines, license suspensions, loss of license).
Liquor licenses are given to individuals (corporations, private enterprise, or citizens) and the licence stipulates the terms of distribution: where liquor can be sold and consumed, etc. You can only sell liquor if you have a license, which includes "private" property being used in a semi-public manner.
If you're having a private party at your home, your options are thus: you can either provide alcohol to your guests free of any cost (this includes charging "cover" or otherwise soliciting the costs), your guests can bring their own liquor which they will control and consume themselves, or you can obtain a liquor license which permits you to sell liquor.
In the case of a wedding reception, generally speaking, liquor licenses prohibit giving liquor to minors... So, if you have rented a facility, they (the party organizers or the property owners) have to have a liquor license for you to consume liquor on that property. That being the case, giving liquor to minors is illegal, even though it is a "private" party.
If you have a wedding reception at your house, on the other hand, and you've selected to buy a liquor license so that you can have a cash bar in your home for the event, you
cannot sell it to minors or sell it to someone who will give it to a minor else you get fined heavily and probably barred from obtaining liquor lisences in the future. [as an aside: the punishments for selling liquor without a permit are more severe, so that isn't really a recommended alternative].
If you chose to provide alcohol to your guests, it should be noted that it is also illegal to buy liquor for minors from the liquor store -- so, really, the only people giving liquor to any minor should be the parents (in their own home, in private, not at a semi-private/public event) because they are legally responsible for those children and what they do in private is their own business. But if the event falls into the public realm in any way, serving alcohol to minors is a good way to get your (or the host's) pocketbook pillaged by Johnny Fed.
I've served bar at a lot of weddings at the hotel where I work, and I've had to take away liquor from kids and refuse to serve people who were buying it for those kids, and it's fine for people to get pissy about it and to be irate and yell at me and things, but what people need to understand is that when a large-scale business loses its liquor lisence and receives a huge fine that they not only lose cash immediately, but they lose profit from those lost liquor sales while under suspension, and they also face a damaged reputation which further costs them money. Since the hotel is on the university property, when the university had their license suspended for 30 days and was fined $250k for serving minors in one of the bars on campus, I reckon we lost $18k at the hotel for that month plus the revenue for 2 weddings that month because we were operating under the same license. Its easy for people to shrug and say 'well, our party is special' because that may very well be, but the law is the law, and if you want to serve booze to your kids you have to do it at home where it is your responsibility and not someone elses -- like ours, the hotelliers and restauranteurs. Right or wrong, it's our responsibility to abide by the liquor laws whether people like it or not.
I agree that its stupid to be able to vote for your country's leadership (which affects everyone) but not being able to choose to consume alcohol (which affects only you) is retarded... but that's a political issue, not a business issue. At the end of the day, businesses are out to make money; if other people want to break the law, that's your choice, but businesses can't afford to and they certainly receive no benefit from breaking the law on your behalf. If you want to serve liquor to your kids at a wedding reception at home or on the farm, knock yourself out, but I absolutely can't stand the idiots that want to booze up their kids when someone else is responsible for it and then can't understand why the responsible party tells them they can't. If you were potentially liable for damages, and culpable for the actions of others, and had to pay out a half-million dollars just so somebody else's kid could knock a few back, there's no way in hell you'd whip out your pocketbook and okay it, so don't expect anyone else to do it for you.
(sorry I got so ranty... I just need to get work-related stress off my shoulders...
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