jonnytakeawalk said:
You said you have a family of four girls, 3 other sisters am I right??! So I guess I'm wondering would your opinions and thoughts on your parent situation be different were you a male??! Obviously it's impossible for you to answer this, but its often said 'a boy needs his father.' It would be hard to deny that a male would be disadvantaged having lesbian parents, i'm not sure that would be an ideal parenting situation in this regard. I read myself that according to many crimonologists boys with absent fathers have often been lead to violence and crime. The relationship between a boy and his Father is such a vital and important one that really shapes a child, more so I think then between a girl and her Father.
Its great that you dont feel disadvantaged at all and are totally content with your family structure but just throwing it out there do u think a male might feel differently??!
Actually I meant me, my one sister, and my two mothers, but I can see how that would be confusing!
Not sure why you're capitalizing "father" unless you're referring to God. And I can't attest to what it would have been like to be male with two mothers, but I can relate 3 examples from my childhood group of three families: There's a guy with a younger sister, so he's really alone. He's normal, a bit of a video/computer game geek but only violent playing the video games, ha. We are almost like siblings, and I know he doesn't wish he'd had a father or feel any sort of absense - then again one of his mothers was a combination of a lesbian martha stewart and a kickass GI Joe. Kinda hard to describe other than that she's awesome. Another guy has a little brother, so he's not the lone male. He smokes too much weed (in my opinion) but is generally a normal college student. I've heard him say, because we've participated in groups for gay couples considering having kids, that he doesn't care that he doesn't have a father and is perfectly happy the way it is. The third is an only child, friendly and charming but also kind of introspective, by no means violent or maladjusted. I don't think any of them would change their family situation, except perhaps the one whose parents had a bad "divorce" - but that can happen to any couple, gay or straight. Then tehre's a guy I know at school with lesbian mothers. He is a star wars geek but a plastic light saber fight is about as violent as he'd get off the lacrosse field. (see, he's a collegiate athlete without a father. no problem)
Now again these are examples and by no means representative but I think the research that supports gender roles is a bunch of hooey - children need love and support and good moral examples, they need to be taught curiosity and respect. And boys can have father figures without having a father, just as girls can have mother figures without a mother. My younger sister is enrolled in a program called "aunts and uncles" or something where children of gay/lesbian couples are set up with single gay men and women (of a complimentary gender to their parents) to go to movies, lunch, hang out, do whatever. Now my sister's gay uncle is (stereotypically) more likely to take her to a broadway show than onto a sports field, but hey, she adores him and that's what matters. This man also fathered a baby child who is being raised by her two mothers, who have custody of the kid but involve him in the kid's life all the time.
There are all sorts of families. As Angela Harlem so aptly pointed out on page 2, what we are born into is our reality, and no kid who grew up in a loving family, whether with two dads, two moms, a mom and a dad, a mom and a grandmother, only a dad, etc... really questions their family or wishes it were otherwise.
My family seemed to have a grudge or just didn't make sure that the relations were open with my Aunt (my uncle is my father's brother) and we didn't see my cousins for a lot of years. When the oldest cousin graduated, his father's side of the family was invited and the communication opened up again.
