VP, what your friend is doing is totally inauthenticating your own experience by drawing a parallel with her own...and because you didn't like or respect the guy she was with, it is a false comparison. And it sounds like she's *trying* to be supportive by saying, "oh, i know just what you've been through," but instead, she's misunderstanding your relationship with Bob.
So what to do? I don't know! I would probably end up avoiding her until I had more ego strength, and then I'd just say I didn't want to talk about him. You are pretty vulnerable now so I think it would be hard to shoulder her insensitivity.
Alternatively, if you think she can provide some kind of support if she understood the situtaiton, then it might be worth telling her more details so she understands that Bob *is* different than Paul. Is she the type who would listen and amend her opinion? If so, it's worth a sit-down with her. But if you think she's more concerned with her own voice being heard, it might be (emotionally) safer for you to keep your distance from her till you are feeling more able to cope.