yolland
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Do I really want to post this? OK, I'm gonna post it.
It's sad that things decline so much after 59, but I would like to think most people that age are more able to take comfort in pleasure and intimacy from other sources without beating themselves up emotionally for having to do so. You never outgrow your need for love and connectedness, but there are a thousand and one ways to pursue that once you're sufficiently at peace with the reality of progressively increasing limitations to center your emotional life on other pleasures.
Nothing shocking here really, but it is interesting to note that men and women in their 30s and 40s experience more of a decline in sexual satisfaction than 50-somethings do. I doubt career and family stress alone is sufficient to explain this--I think the preoccupation of many people this age with lamenting the loss of being young, highly libidinous and conventionally desirable (i.e., young and "fresh" like the stars on the cover of Rolling Stone's "Hot" issue or whatever) feeds into it also. Probably this effect is even more pronounced in women--perhaps they will do a follow-up on that.Men in their 50s more satisfied with their sex lives
by Tom Spears
Vancouver Sun
February 21, 2006
Men in their 50s have happier sex lives than guys in their 30s and 40s, despite the indignities of bodies that sputter like an old car, a joint Norwegian and American study suggests. Fifty-five-year-olds, in fact, can still get satisfaction nearly on a par with kids 30 years younger.
The study of nearly 1,200 men in Norway acknowledges that men in their 50s are starting to lose their physical oomph. Published in a urology journal called BJU International, it carries graphic detail of erections, or the lack of them, and everything else involved in the male reproductive tract. But the study also looks beyond the purely physical and asks: Are you happy with your sex life?
And it found that the 50s are a prime time to be a man in that respect -- almost tied on the ratings scale with men in their 20s. (Sadly, after age 59, the satisfaction level drops right off.)
The men in the survey were aged 20 to 79. They were asked to rate many aspects of their sex lives on a scale of zero to four, where four represents "good sexual function and no problems." Men in their 20s reported an average satisfaction level of close to 2.79. But the fifty-somethings were practically tied with them, at over 2.77. Men in their 30s were the least happy, at 2.55, and men in their 40s averaged 2.72. After the age of 59, overall satisfaction fell significantly to 2.46 for men in their 60s, and to 2.14 for men in their 70s.
While a man's sex drive and his body decline in a predictable way with age, "there wasn't such a strong link between age and overall sexual satisfaction," the team says in a written summary of their work. The study is by researchers at the University of Oslo, University of Bergen and Harvard Medical School.
It all makes perfect sense to Guy Grenier, a psychologist and sex therapist who teaches at the University of Western Ontario. "People who aren't young and perfect tend to be de-sexualized in our society. So the very fact that you're asking that question (why older men feel satisfied) is a reflection of this.
Look at our media images. Who's sexy? Who's got the hot bod? It isn't a 40-year-old, isn't a 50-year-old." Yet, he says sex therapists agree that growing older fits perfectly with sexual happiness. "These results are consistent with what we find in women as well," he noted. "In older age groups, people are less hung up about performance. People have learned more about themselves. They are more comfortable in their relationship. They have found ways to express their sexual needs. They're less focused on performance, so sex becomes a moment to be intimate and to bond with somebody."
Ronald Bracey, a psychologist with a special interest in male sexuality, told the BBC News website he too was not surprised by the results. "Men in their thirties and forties are often too stressed by things such as being successful in their career to enjoy sex. But by the time men get into their fifties they have usually adjusted to what they want out of life, and tend to be less hung up, less concerned by what other people think of them, and less prone to performance anxiety."
It's sad that things decline so much after 59, but I would like to think most people that age are more able to take comfort in pleasure and intimacy from other sources without beating themselves up emotionally for having to do so. You never outgrow your need for love and connectedness, but there are a thousand and one ways to pursue that once you're sufficiently at peace with the reality of progressively increasing limitations to center your emotional life on other pleasures.