Conan is my hero
Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland:
Belarus
Clay, sand, and chalk: Your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool.
Burkina Faso
In the traditional tribal language, that's Burkina for "land of" and Faso for "people who want to get the hell out of Burkina Faso."
Canada
With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal!
Cote D'Ivoire
Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare?
Ireland
You know, there's a wonderful old Irish legend that goes something like this: Once upon a time, many years ago, there was an Irishman who could hold down a job.
Japan
Last century, you brutally defeated China and Russia. This century, you make Hello Kitty toasters.