Last Train to Satansville, Pennsylvania Superthread

[Axver]

So far, we've visited:

1. Pop Survivor Round One
2. Australia Discotheque style
3. EBTTRT
4. IAMJ
5. TCATT
6. POTDB
7. EYKIW/Liechtenstein
8. AIWIU2
9. 'Straya
10. Sheikh Djibouti
11. Te Urewera National Park
12. Have you been to Inaccessible Island?
13. Lodgepole, Nebraska
14. Bangaluru, which was Bangin'
15. TaumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukMOTHERFUCKERakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
16. Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre and Michelin
17. Ouagadougou
18. Dominican Republic
19. Longyearbyen, Spitsbergen
20. Fernando de Noronha
21. Kyzyl, aka Fuck Vowels
22. Torquay, aka Fawlty Towers
23. Pay the Bill, Wyoming
24. Fenway Park Smells Like Dirty Ass
25. Vazza's postwhoring in the Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic
26. Bumberry Muffins, NSW
27. Vrbno pod Pradědem
28. Unalaska, Alaska
29. Sexy Peak, Idaho
30. Fucking, Austria
31. Wittenoom, Western Australia
32. Ooh Hell Is A Place On Earth, Michigan
33. Centralia, Pennsylvania
34. Anus, France
35. Vagina, Krasnoyarsk Krai, Russia
36. Wetwang, England
37. Cunter, Switzerland
38. Bastard Township, Ontario
39. Useless Loop, Western Australia, Useless Loop, Western Australia, Useless Loop, Western Australia, Useless Loop, Western Australia, Useless Loop, Western Australia, Useless Loop, Western Australia
40. Tea, South Dakota
41. Giggleswick, England
42. Whakapapa (pronounced "Fuck a Papa"), New Zealand, aka Incest
43. Axver's perving in Jen's Room, Lamethreadlocation, Geelong
44. Twatt, Shetland
45. GAF is Fingringhoe, Essex
46. Blowhard, Victoria
47. Orange Free State, South Africa
48. Middle Intercourse Island
49. Disneyland, USA, Surrounded By Naked Princesses
50. Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, Quebec
51. This Baby's Moustache, America
52. Boring Lava Field, Oregon
53. Ian's a Morón Air Base, Spain
54. Comet U23D/Biela (lost)
55. Dildo vs bug pinus, Newfoundland
56. Haiku Valley, Hawaii
57. Hole of Horcum, England
58. Cumbum, Tamil Nadu, India
59. Hell For Certain, Kentucky
60. Devil's Dyke, Sussex, England
61. Koolyanobbing, Western Australia
62. Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts
63. Three Cocks and the Truth, Wales
64. Saddam Hussein Town, Sri Lanka
65. Tittybong, Victoria, Australia
66. Humptulips, Washington
67. Sweet, Tits!, South Carolina
68. End of Earth, Michigan
69. Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky
70. Kholat Syakhl, Russia
71. Rapelaide, South Australia
72. Dumb Hope, Northumberland, UK
73. Let's Bumpass, Virginia
74. Shut the Bogan Gate, New South Wales
75. 1985, Ireland
76. Upperthong, West Yorkshire
77. Let's have some Sexbierum, Holland
78. Pussy, France
79. Postwhorehouse Meadow
80. Brilliant, Alabama
81. Hooker, Oklahoma
82. Knob Lick, Missouri
83. Fresh Kills, Staten Island
84. Swastika, Ontario
85. Paw Paw, West Vagina
86. Tutaekuri ("dogshit") River, New Zealand
87. Axver Will Post Here While Losing His Virginity, Utah
88. I Want To Be Forever Young, New York
89. Kumamoto ("fire cunt" in Swahili), Japan
90. Llanfairynghornwy, Anglesey, Wales
91. Geebung, Queensland
92. Knockemstiff, Ohio
93. Vazza's Bar, Montenegro
94. Rough and Ready, California
95. Uranium City, Saskatchewan
96. Axver is an Iron Knob, South Australia
97. Howlong, Howlong Must We Sing This Song, New South Wales
98. Penistone, South Yorkshire
99. Cumby, Texas
100. Chass rules over the Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands
101. Vaduz, Liechtenstein and its gullible idiots
102. Go Have a Wank, Bavaria
103. Go sit in the Hooker Corner, Indiana
104. Brest Railway Museum, Belarus
105. Craggy Island, Ireland
106. A Room at the Rooty Hill Holiday Inn, New South Wales
107. Westward Ho!, Devon, England
108. We Loveladies, New Jersey
109. Desert Island VII
110. Adiós, Spain
111. Smackover, Arkansas
112. Shag Point, New Zealand
113. Mollie's Nipple, Utah
114. Shitlington Crags, Northumberland
115. Pity Me, County Durham
116. Why Arizona?
117. I wish you'd Die, Drôme
118. You're a Bitche, France
119. Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania
120. Pecker's Point, Newfoundland
121. You're a Fake, Nigeria
122. Scull your Beer, Devon
123. Weed, California
124. Cockplay, Scotland
125. Little Snoring, Norfolk
126. Crap, Albania
127. Mount Buggery, Victoria
128. Mount Gay, West Virginia
129. Dickshooter, I'do a ho
130. River Piddle, Dorset
131. You'd like a Wanglik, Guangdong
132. Conception Junction, Missouri
133. Intercourse, Pennslyvania
134. Wendy-cum-Jolly, Hertfordshire
135. In Ten Years, Larry Mullen Will Be A Bald Knob, Arkansas
136. Woodenbong, New South Wales
137. I 8 Hiscock on the Road, Melbourne
138. Shades of Death Road, New Jersey
139. Cinnaminson loves Jen, New Jersey
140. Serena is a Postwhore, Louisiana
141. You're a Slutsk, Belarus
142. Crapaud, Prince Edward Island
143. Gary Glitter Fondled Little George's Coc'nuts, Pitcairn Island
144. Bland Place, Otara, Auckland
145. Boggus Motor Company, Harlingen, Texas
146. Zzyzx, California, aka "Buy a Vowel!"
147. Blubberhouses, Yorkshire
148. Tawny port's better than a Rum Jungle, Northern Territory
149. Broomrape Lane, Lake Havasu City, Arizona
150. None Tree Hill, Auckland
151. Oh no a Monster, The Netherlands
152. Kilbrittain, Ireland
153. Mulderkill River, Delaware (X-Files country?)
154. I drank all the Booze, Norf Yocksha
155. Yap, Federated States of Micronesia
156. Ohai, New Zealand
157. Tumbleweed Restaurant, Chillicothe, Ohio
158. Belcher Islands, Nunavut
159. Who gives a Shitterton, Dorset
160. Te Bay of Plenty Puke, New Zealand
161. Fakfak, Indonesian New Guinea
162. Hackballscross, Ireland
163. Goobertown, Arkansas
164. Texas, Queensland
165. CN Tower, Toronto, Ontario, Canada (like a penis stabbing the heavens, m'boys!)
166. Old Harry's Rocks, Dorset, England
167. Museum Voor Oude Kunst, Brussels, Belgium (six months of the postwhorehouse)
168. Devil's Beef Tub, Scotland
169. This was Spartaaaaaaaaa!!!, Wisconsin
170. South Sandwich Islands

"You look like you've been losing sleep,"
Said a stranger on a train.
I fixed him with an ice cold stare
And said "I've been posting in Superthreads again."

So crank up some Swervedriver and join me and my swag of 66,666 posts on the last train to Satansville, Pennsylvania. Satansville? Satanville? Devil's Road? Cult House Road? Who knows. It's bogged down in the imprecision and eerie fog of urban legends. Basically, it's the name given to a winding rural stretch of Cossart Road in Pennsbury Township that has been the subject of tales about Satanic cults and demonic possession.

So, all aboard the last train to Satansville! Your driver is James May, Captain Slow himself, and aboard this train, you may meet such luminaries as Bono, Milo Kerrigan, Freddie Mercury, and our very own Mia, while outside, be on the lookout for Jetstar planes, Thomas The Tank Engine, and the moon turning red over One Tree Hill as it is stormed by an ancient Greek warrior and an alien Nigel Griggs.

Cossart, Pennsylvania - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

:fuckyeah:

 

[The Sad Punk]

SUPER FUCK YEAH 3000!!

 

[Axver]

:satanyeah:

 

[The Sad Punk]

I know that May is driving, but we need to make this thread really fucking fast!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

...and an alien Nigel Griggs.

 

[The Sad Punk]

REALLY fucking fast!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

ooh, and i got an anthony bourdain banner!

 

[Axver]

Who Posted?
Total Posts: 1,004
User Name Posts
Axver 270
KhanadaRhodes 155
the tourist 141
bono_man2002 102
Serena Vox 70
Alisaura 55
RegularBonoFan 45
Galeongirl 31
DreamOutLoud13 31
The Sad Punk 23
Irishteen 20
LemonMelon 17
Angela Harlem 15
coolian2 12
bono_212 8
onebloodonelife 2
phanan 2
Its Britastic! 2
cinnaminson 1
gluey 1
RavenBlue 1

Close but no cigar for Andrew.

 

[Axver]

I know that May is driving, but we need to make this thread really fucking fast!

Maybe Ringo should push May out?

 

[the tourist]

Anyway, Lovetown'd Achtung Baby--I could see it going like this:
(all guitars sounding like Lovetown guitars, tonewise, and without any modulation)

01. Zoo Station (with a big organ intro and with a solid All Along The Watchtower beat)
02. The Fly (with less "dancy" drums)
03. Until The End Of The World (with God Part II drums)
04. She's Gonna Blow Your House Down (a much refined version from Salome tapes)
05. Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses? (close to the Temple Bar version)
06. Mysterious Ways (with a Desire vibe to it)
07. She's A Mystery Girl (with a Dancing Barefoot vibe to it)
08. Wild Irish Rose (a somewhat refined version of what we've heard)
09. One (with a much more grand, important, urgent With Or Without You sense to it)
10. Ultraviolet (with better lyrics and Where The Streets Have No Name drums)
11. Acrobat (just as it is, but with better production)
12. Love Is Blindness (with a better outro)

*all with more Lovetown'd lyrics.
This would be my favourite U2 album.

 

[The Sad Punk]

As good as a more Lovetown'd AB would be, if U2 still had the Lovetown image at that time, they would have been severely fucked.

 

[the tourist]

And that would even leave Slow Dancing, Even Better Than The Real Thing, and Where Did It All Go Wrong for a next release (which would be coupled with Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me, The First Time, better produced versions of Lemon and Zooropa which are less dancy and more rock, a Lovetown'd Dirty Day).

 

[The Sad Punk]

a Lovetown'd Dirty Day

Did it get hot here all of a sudden?

 

[the tourist]

As good as a more Lovetown'd AB would be, if U2 still had the Lovetown image at that time, they would have been severely fucked.

Well, their image could have changed. But the music could have remained similar--not the same as Lovetown, but a more natural progression. And damnit, with better production!

 

[The Sad Punk]

Where is everyone? They should be basking in the glory of Satansville.

 

[Axver]

Anyway, Lovetown'd Achtung Baby--I could see it going like this:
(all guitars sounding like Lovetown guitars, tonewise, and without any modulation)

01. Zoo Station (with a big organ intro and with a solid All Along The Watchtower beat)
02. The Fly (with less "dancy" drums)
03. Until The End Of The World (with God Part II drums)
04. She's Gonna Blow Your House Down (a much refined version from Salome tapes)
05. Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses? (close to the Temple Bar version)
06. Mysterious Ways (with a Desire vibe to it)
07. She's A Mystery Girl (with a Dancing Barefoot vibe to it)
08. Wild Irish Rose (a somewhat refined version of what we've heard)
09. One (with a much more grand, important, urgent With Or Without You sense to it)
10. Ultraviolet (with better lyrics and Where The Streets Have No Name drums)
11. Acrobat (just as it is, but with better production)
12. Love Is Blindness (with a better outro)

*all with more Lovetown'd lyrics.
This would be my favourite U2 album.

I like the way you think.

A lot.

As for the image, by late 1990, I think they'd at least developed enough of a post-Lovetown image to have not been fucked. Then they took it too far.

 

[Axver]

And that would even leave Slow Dancing, Even Better Than The Real Thing, and Where Did It All Go Wrong for a next release (which would be coupled with Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me, The First Time, better produced versions of Lemon and Zooropa which are less dancy and more rock, a Lovetown'd Dirty Day).

Don't go leaving out better produced versions of Numb or Stay. And as divisive as it is, I love The Wanderer.

God, Dirty Day studio is such a letdown compared to live. It should be a U2 classic.

Where is everyone? They should be basking in the glory of Satansville.

Agreed. Though my mother just had to interrupt me with a phone call. I was afraid she'd interrupt me with a couple of posts to go in South Sandwich Islands!

 

[the tourist]

I like the way you think.

A lot.

As for the image, by late 1990, I think they'd at least developed enough of a post-Lovetown image to have not been fucked. Then they took it too far.

Sadly, I think all the people who love masturbate all over Achtung Baby would crucify us for wanting this. Right up until they heard it and said, "This is what we could have fucking had?"

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Sadly, I think all the people who love masturbate all over Achtung Baby would crucify us for wanting this. Right up until they heard it and said, "This is what we could have fucking had?"

i like the actual achtung baby better

 

[the tourist]

Don't go leaving out better produced versions of Numb or Stay. And as divisive as it is, I love The Wanderer.

God, Dirty Day studio is such a letdown compared to live. It should be a U2 classic.

Oh, I totally forgot Stay.

 

[Axver]

Sadly, I think all the people who love masturbate all over Achtung Baby would crucify us for wanting this. Right up until they heard it and said, "This is what we could have fucking had?"

It's like my alternate Achtung tracklist. It got called "a turd" and all sorts of other things the first few times I shared it. Then people actually tried it. I still think Wild Irish Rose --> Alex Descends --> Acrobat --> LIB is an absolutely scorching, intense way to close an album. I'm quite proud of that. Alex Descends and Acrobat are natural partners.

 

[Axver]

i like the actual achtung baby better

But will it make it easier on you now you've got someone to blame?

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

But will it make it easier on you now you've got someone to blame?

 

[Axver]

Oh, I totally forgot Stay.

You know, I'm not that enthusiastic about studio Stay, I think mainly due to the mixing. But some of the live full band versions from the later stages of ZooTV are incredible. And prove that Bono, while hardly a good guitarist, has had moments of contributing semi-competently.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

all the beating up on achtung baby is making me tired. night peeps

 

[Axver]

You're a lame-o, Khan.

 

[The Sad Punk]

Bye, Khan!

 

[the tourist]

In a natural progression world pt. 2: ZOOROPA
(all guitars sounding like Lovetown guitars, tonewise, and with no modulation--only the pitch shift sound as used in HMTMKMKM, and on songs like Slug and When I Look At The World's solo)

01. Zooropa (not quite so muddled, still just as ethereal)
02. Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me (exactly as it is)
03. Numb (with both electronic drums and real drums, the real drums played furiously like in Race Against Time)
04. Lemon (sung in full voice, not falsetto, and with guitar added, both rhythm and lead)
05. Stay (like With Or Without You and One--with a much more grand, important, urgent sense to it)
06. Even Better Than The Real Thing (straight up ballsy rock with another All Along The Watchtower beat)
07. Where Did It All Go Wrong (a refined, Lovetown'd version of what we have)
08. The First Time (exactly as it is except for better quality production--very Running To Stand Still)
09. Dirty Day (exactly like how it was done on ZooTV)
10. Slow Dancing (darker than the two versions we've heard--a sinister bit of Exit involved)
11. The Wanderer (the darkest song yet done by U2, musically more similar to Mothers Of The Disappeared and Love Is Blindness)

This would probably be in my top 4 U2 albums.

 

[the tourist]

And after that, U2 retire as a band. Bono goes on to politick, Adam and Larry go on to be rich quiet, and Edge goes on to write, record, and produce his own solo albums.