mad1
ONE love, blood, life
...it sounds crazy, but I have...................now it might be being triggered by listenin to music with possible stupid imagination? ........(let me explain).........
Im a very emotional person.....the simplest thing can trigger tears in me...........I have no idea why.......but recently I have found myself imagining through anger of all the troubles happenin here...well, through anger Im about to kill someone..........someone who is involved with killin pple here......almost like, u could say, an assassination............ honestly! And Im standing there but I have like 10 men round me guns pointin at my head...........and I drop my gun knowin Im defeated..............but then I smile knowin I will be in the arms of my father shortly..........and I do......I start to get upset thinkin about him.........thinkin about times I see him in my head and he looks miserable and Im screamin but he cant hear me.....or I run towards him but theres a huge invisible wall which stops me...........and I cant bear to see him down, and I looooong to wrap my arms around him.......
But sometimes I think its me warning me that death is nothing to be afraid off...............and I never know what to believe in....sometimes I believe, sometimes I dont, what fears me most, like most pple Im sure, is what 'feeling' is possibly there after ur gone......................I really would like to think that I would be re-united with my father as I do miss him a lot more now.................Its weird, I know I Zoo-Confessed on this but, now that Im older..............somehow, Im startin to miss that 'father figure', that I wish he were around to see me drive, be here to go out with me and talk, be here to be possibly 'proud' of me on a few occassions.......................ya know? I mean my mum has a boyfriend, but I treat him as a friend - they nearly got married but mum said no.....she was comfortable enough how it was going between them both..........sometimes I feel like saying, at moments when it feels appropriate over situations, 'Dont say that, dont tell me, ur not my father'....but I never have...........I tink that would hurt him.............
Im sorry, I feel like Im confusin u all or prob makin most of u laugh right now with all this........but I felt the need to share..............
I just feel like re-unitin with my father again,,,,,,,I wanna hold him and hug him for ages............its like Im so ready to see him again.......
u all tink Im gone crazy, right?
Im a very emotional person.....the simplest thing can trigger tears in me...........I have no idea why.......but recently I have found myself imagining through anger of all the troubles happenin here...well, through anger Im about to kill someone..........someone who is involved with killin pple here......almost like, u could say, an assassination............ honestly! And Im standing there but I have like 10 men round me guns pointin at my head...........and I drop my gun knowin Im defeated..............but then I smile knowin I will be in the arms of my father shortly..........and I do......I start to get upset thinkin about him.........thinkin about times I see him in my head and he looks miserable and Im screamin but he cant hear me.....or I run towards him but theres a huge invisible wall which stops me...........and I cant bear to see him down, and I looooong to wrap my arms around him.......
But sometimes I think its me warning me that death is nothing to be afraid off...............and I never know what to believe in....sometimes I believe, sometimes I dont, what fears me most, like most pple Im sure, is what 'feeling' is possibly there after ur gone......................I really would like to think that I would be re-united with my father as I do miss him a lot more now.................Its weird, I know I Zoo-Confessed on this but, now that Im older..............somehow, Im startin to miss that 'father figure', that I wish he were around to see me drive, be here to go out with me and talk, be here to be possibly 'proud' of me on a few occassions.......................ya know? I mean my mum has a boyfriend, but I treat him as a friend - they nearly got married but mum said no.....she was comfortable enough how it was going between them both..........sometimes I feel like saying, at moments when it feels appropriate over situations, 'Dont say that, dont tell me, ur not my father'....but I never have...........I tink that would hurt him.............
Im sorry, I feel like Im confusin u all or prob makin most of u laugh right now with all this........but I felt the need to share..............
I just feel like re-unitin with my father again,,,,,,,I wanna hold him and hug him for ages............its like Im so ready to see him again.......
u all tink Im gone crazy, right?
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