its all hitting me now..

[u2bonogirl]

hey girls. i know nobody really knows me personally in here yet and it seems like some of you know each other pretty well. anyway thats not the point. the point is that i guess i need a little friend backup right now because im going through a tough time and things are going to be getting really lonely for me.
it has to do with my man, ryan. i love him so much, you know that feeling in your chest that hurts when you think about the person...yeah..besides bono, lol. me and him have been together for coming up on 3 years soon and now i am going to have to be without him for a year. for some people that wouldnt be as big a deal i think, but not me. im too weak for being brave and just dealing with it. hes my best friend and my boyfriend and were to be married in a little over a year. i was going to be going with him where hes moving (we live in oregon on the beach and hes moving to arizona) but after a million and a half complications i am being left behind just like all the people before him. hes just a upset about it as i am, but i think im handling it less well than him. i was laying awake last night trying to go to sleep and then it hit me. he is everything that makes me happy in my town. nothing excites me or makes me happy but him and thats scary if im going to be skimming over the top of life for a whole year until i can have him back. does anybody know what im talking about? im sorry this is long its just so many things are going through my heart right now and theres nobody for me to talk to here since all my friends are long gone and ryan is feeling the same way.
i realized how really lonely i am going to be for a while. what am i to do with the day when half of it has passed and im waiting for the time i always see ryan? when i realize that hes not meeting me after work and i have nothing to make me happy but the book im reading and interference.com? i have no real friends here. the only friends i have i consider to be on PLEBA and nobody even knows me here! maybe i could make a few real friends on here sometime.......i dunno, maybe i just needed to rant a little since im feeling so low. hes leaving on sep. 20th. im driving down with him and flying back so at least i have a road trip with him before hes gone. then theres visits i guess too. something to look forward to! i saw the post about the couple finally getting to be together and i cried my eyes out knowing the opposite is in store for me.
oh the torture of love huh? but would i get out of love if i could. hell no.

 

[verte76]

That sounds depressing. If I all of a sudden couldn't see a loved one for a year I'd be bummed out too. I'm under a bunch of stress as well, I just tell myself this is transient and I'll be OK.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad u2bonogirl

I've never been in your situation so I don't know how to help, except to say that you are so lucky to have a love like that, and as tough as it is, you will do your best I'm sure to get through this. Luckily we have modern tech now to stay in touch, but obviously that's not the same as being face to face.

I'm sure as soon as you spend more time here, people will get to know you better. I've always found this lil PLEBA place to be friendly and sympathetic. I'll do my best to be your friend here

 

[ylimeU2]

"If you're going through hell, keep going." (Winston Churchill)

That is one of my favorite quotes. It reminds me that I just need to keep going, and things will get better. I hope it helps you a little. I know it's hard, but I think you can survive.

 

[souLnation2002]

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad u2bonogirl

I've never been in your situation so I don't know how to help, except to say that you are so lucky to have a love like that, and as tough as it is, you will do your best I'm sure to get through this. Luckily we have modern tech now to stay in touch, but obviously that's not the same as being face to face.

I'm sure as soon as you spend more time here, people will get to know you better. I've always found this lil PLEBA place to be friendly and sympathetic. I'll do my best to be your friend here

What Mrs. S. said

I'm also going to add this because Adam's right.

 

[kellyahern]

I wish I could think of something to say for you to feel better

 

[u2bonogirl]

hey thanks you guys- er girls, lol. you know i have been on pleba for a while now its just kinda hard to type over to somebody "hey you wanna be my friend??" i dunno maybe im just shy or something. i wondered how many people on here know each other in real life? i would be set if i had another u2 psycho here in lincoln city. anyway, im having a better time with the whole thing today. i only cried for like 3 seconds and then i told myself to shut up. maybe this will make me get my arse in gear and get into college!

 

[martha]

My husband is going to graduate school in Las Vegas, which is 300 miles away. During the school year, I only see him about every third weekend or so. My situation isn't like yours due to several reasons. We've been married for 15 years, we do get to see each other, and we're older with more experience than you. We're starting our second year of this separation, and it's not getting any easier.

My situation is similar to yours in that I love him more than anything, and I miss him terribly when he's not here.

Let me offer you some advice and encouragement. It will be alright! You will learn to rely on yourself, you will become more independent, and you will learn how to be by yourself. I have always liked to be by myself, so I had a head start. You will learn to make friends and expand your interests (believe it or not, there are other things to learn about than U2!).

It will be easier to start college because there won't be any distractions around!

I'm glad you're staying home. When you posted about this in Discotheque, I was a little worried. Following a man around the country sounds romantic, but girls need to be independent. Only then do they really know who they are. Never let a man define who you are. You have an opportunity to learn about yourself and make yourself stronger.

Just think how wonderful it will be when the two of you are back together, and you're a strong, independent young woman!

 

[ylimeU2]

Following a man around the country sounds romantic, but girls need to be independent. Only then do they really know who they are. Never let a man define who you are. You have an opportunity to learn about yourself and make yourself stronger.

 

[Muggsy]

 

[u2bonogirl]

thanks martha, that was really helpful! i know that it can be done, and i too like to be by myself. im just so used to seeing one person everyday that when i stop to think about what i will do instead its kind of a brain freeze. i love learning about new things and meeting new people but i am shy too and have been hurt by a lot of people. its hard for me to trust people that well. im feeling stronger after the shock of it all is going away and im making plans for myself in the future. its weird because im only 18 and ive been with this guy for almost 3 years now. im like an old married woman!
thanks for all the support, i really appreciate it. i hope i can get to know more people in here because we all have things in common! i cant imagine what....lol

 

[martha]

im just so used to seeing one person everyday that when i stop to think about what i will do instead its kind of a brain freeze.

In fact this very thing happened to me at the beginning of last week when Steve went back to Nevada to start school. It will happen again at various times during the year.

 

[u2bonogirl]

martha, what do you do to feel better, or not freak out when you start to think too much? Ive been trying to think of all the things i should do but never get around to just because id rather be with ryan (or maybe i'm lazy ) thats been helping a little but not much. mostly the best i feel is when im actually with him and thinking of how cool it will feel when i see him again after a couple months. the big first hug, and then everythings like it should be again. *sigh* maybe im making this all out to be more romantic than it really is! the one kinda good thing is that i have a friend who is in the same boat with me. his girl is in a training college for a year and he wont get to see her much either. maybe we can have lonely hearts club parties or something . anyway, thank you for the input, i really appreciate it. now if i just had the new album and the book of pictures thats coming out i would have something to do for a year until i get to see ryan again!!!!! JUST KIDDING.....

 

[martha]

Give yourself some time to adjust. Things will even out after a while.

 

[marcbolan_luver]

Hey u2bono girl i'll be your friend! and....i know how u feel cuz my bf moved back to tennessee (SHUT UP LINDSAY) lol!

 

[u2bonogirl]

yay! a friend! marc bolan luver, i just replied to your post in plebans, lol. if you wanna write me my e mail is poptartu2@hotmail.com so yeah, feel free to type and vent