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ONE love, blood, life
Jan 19, 2004
The Wild West
Now that I have your attention/

As children we have infinite potential, which diminishes rapidly, I want to know how one reconciles aspiration with reality.

Was there ever a time when your aspirations conflicted with your situation, the point which you realised that you can't get what you want.

As a 20 something I think I am fortunate enough to be engaged in stimulating work, coupled with the realisation that I need intellectual stimulation to make my experience of this mortal coil worthwhile to me. I feel that I have found a cause to be, which rewards me, which in and of itself is important to me.

We're all clued in individuals, I would like to know what makes you go on, what drives you, what abstract ideal you strive towards.

I suspect that some free exchange of ideals may elucidate truth and help make some sense of the world.

So to begin,

I myself have a desire for the understanding of fact, when a question engages me I need to know to know the answer, an extension of childish inquisition perhaps but a dominant factor in my adult self nontheless, I find the numinous in comprehension, in the recognition of truth in the absence of anthropomorphic preconceptions.

I think I can find meaning in the natural sciences, I have an aptitude towards evolutionary biology and in my materialistic and atheistic manner I can comprehend some metaphysical implications of evolutionary biology. I feel meaning in fact, in palaeontology, an experience of the numinous through the accidental preservation of past forms, in placing humanity as one briefly lived species in 35,000,000,000 years. From microbialites to man we alone have the capacity to trancend our related organisms and expand beyond our narrow existence, at core that idea turns me on more than any politics or economics, I am a terrible libertarian, I am not nearly as commited to a lazzes faire as I am to the best fit model of truth.

That attitude demands an environment of free inquisition to exist, I rely upon some degree of state support for inquiry, which subverts any pretensions of libertarian ideology, state support for free inquiry is in my rational self-interest. But that is a question on economics apart from those of truth.

I need to understand, the answer isn't in abstract belief, it is grounded in fact, it s more verified by fact than anything theological. God is a simple escape, I can't accept that as it isn't probable, a sweet illusion to alay the consequences of evolved conciousness.

Science begins to comprehend reality more than theology, dogma or intuition; it is my cause to be, to use up my brief mortal coil on understanding is more important than lies, or procreation (the Darwinian objective); that renders me a freak).

So theres my cause to be, be reciprocal, show me yours.
Aspirations hit a brick wall with reality when try as I did, I could not find a way of making a living out of what really intrigued me.

Jung said, “Whether or not the stories are ‘true’ is not the problem, only question is whether what I tell is my fable, my truth”

What continues to compel me is the creation of the personal myths people weave for their lives—not the organized myths of, say, religion or ideology—but the individual myths people create about themselves that make them different. What drives people to seek a definition of themselves that may be outside the facts of their lives? What reaches the internal you as opposed to the external you? I think things like specific music, art, literature (just to name a small handful) strike a chord in that internal myth—specific to that person. What is truly sacred to an individual? I think when you discover that, you find more out about a person than you would about the external facts of their lives. You find their underlying truths. The individual can be an intensely interesting study.

That, for me, led to a lifetime fascination with the mind and what it creates and how it works. What is the clash between the primal and the civilized, what are the common symbols, what is going on just below the level of consciousness? I think that is what drew me to literature. The creative state is often that just below the level of consciousness state where people work out their myths, their truths.

Which led me to an ideal of always being honest with myself--not to ever look away from what I discover about myself. I may not share what I discover with other people :wink: but that's a whole other type of honesty.
As a fifty something, my dreams are different now, then thirty years ago. What I thought I wanted, couldn't live without, simply took me into another direction. The boy I loved then, I never think about. He broke my heart. I met someone else. Married him and we are still together.

I never became a photographer or moved to New York. Instead, I stayed in Maryland and raised a beautiful child. Whom has grown into a young man, any parent would be proud of.

Yes, we all have dreams. It's funny when life throws you a curve ball. We catch on the better path.
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