Echo
War Child
*THE SCENE: Echo's kitchen. She and the lads are going to bake cookies for the PLEBA girls.*
ECHO: Okay, everybody gets to do their bit. Edge, you mix together the butter and the eggs. Adam...where's Adam?
*Adam enters.*
ADAM: Hey Echo, your mom has some nice clothes.
ECHO: Adam, that's my mom's best skirt! You take those clothes off right this instant!
ADAM: Yes, ma'am!
ECHO: No, I mean...put them back in my mom's closet! (He leaves and returns in his OWN skirt) That's better. Now get those cookie sheets greased up.
ADAM: With pleasure.
ECHO: Bono, what you need to do is sift together the flour and baking soda and sugar...where's the sugar?
*Larry enters, holding a cornish game hen.*
LARRY: Who wants my meat?
ECHO: Larry, that's Mona's joke!
LARRY: It is? Wait a minute...(pulls out clipboard and examnes it) Isn't this Tuesday?
ECHO: It's Friday.
LARRY: Oops. Okay, hold on...(exits, then comes back with a bag of sugar) Alright, who wants a little sugar in their bowl?
ADAM: WHat is this cardboard stand-up of me doing here?
ECHO: We..uh...weren't expecting you.
LARRY: Where's the silverware? (Opens the junk drawer) Wow, look at all the buttons! I could use these! (He grabs a handful of oddball buttons and goes into the sewing room to attach them.)
ECHO: Edge, where's your kitten? It was here a minute ago...
EDGE: (shrugs)
ECHO: Well it's gotta be around here...OH NO! (The kitten is on the counter, licking the butter) THE CAT IS LICKING THE BUTTER!!! All my grandmother's worst fears are coming true!!!
ADAM: That's not so bad...Bono was licking it earlier.
*Larry returns with his shirt buttoned up with six buttons: two black, one white, one blue, one pink and heart-shaped, and one two inches in diameter.*
LARRY: Look at that! Good as new!
ECHO: *Sigh* I'll be right back, (picks up the kitten) I'm gonna go put the kitten away until we're done cooking.
*Animatronic Edge comes running up.*
ECHO: Edge, you can play with your kitten later! I'm just gonna put it in the bedroom.
*He's pointing frantically at the kitchen. Echo doesn't understand. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her into the kitchen, just as the smoke alarm goes off.*
LARRY: (Yelling over the alarm) Bono accidentally set Cardboard Adam on fire!
ADAM: Accidentally, my arse! That was deliberate - and might I add TYPICAL - hostility towards the bass player!
ECHO: Well don't just STAND THERE you idiots! Put him out!
*Bono picks up Cardboard Adam and beats him repeatedly against the refrigerator to put out the flames. When he's done there's burnt cardboard everywhere, and ashes are still floating down. There is perfect silence, broken after fifteen long seconds.*
BONO: Um.....When the cookies are done baking can we put frosting on them?
------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!
"Never argue with someone who buys ink by the gallon." -Tommy Lasorda
"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono
Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas
The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165
ECHO: Okay, everybody gets to do their bit. Edge, you mix together the butter and the eggs. Adam...where's Adam?
*Adam enters.*
ADAM: Hey Echo, your mom has some nice clothes.
ECHO: Adam, that's my mom's best skirt! You take those clothes off right this instant!
ADAM: Yes, ma'am!
ECHO: No, I mean...put them back in my mom's closet! (He leaves and returns in his OWN skirt) That's better. Now get those cookie sheets greased up.
ADAM: With pleasure.
ECHO: Bono, what you need to do is sift together the flour and baking soda and sugar...where's the sugar?
*Larry enters, holding a cornish game hen.*
LARRY: Who wants my meat?
ECHO: Larry, that's Mona's joke!
LARRY: It is? Wait a minute...(pulls out clipboard and examnes it) Isn't this Tuesday?
ECHO: It's Friday.
LARRY: Oops. Okay, hold on...(exits, then comes back with a bag of sugar) Alright, who wants a little sugar in their bowl?
ADAM: WHat is this cardboard stand-up of me doing here?
ECHO: We..uh...weren't expecting you.
LARRY: Where's the silverware? (Opens the junk drawer) Wow, look at all the buttons! I could use these! (He grabs a handful of oddball buttons and goes into the sewing room to attach them.)
ECHO: Edge, where's your kitten? It was here a minute ago...
EDGE: (shrugs)
ECHO: Well it's gotta be around here...OH NO! (The kitten is on the counter, licking the butter) THE CAT IS LICKING THE BUTTER!!! All my grandmother's worst fears are coming true!!!
ADAM: That's not so bad...Bono was licking it earlier.
*Larry returns with his shirt buttoned up with six buttons: two black, one white, one blue, one pink and heart-shaped, and one two inches in diameter.*
LARRY: Look at that! Good as new!
ECHO: *Sigh* I'll be right back, (picks up the kitten) I'm gonna go put the kitten away until we're done cooking.
*Animatronic Edge comes running up.*
ECHO: Edge, you can play with your kitten later! I'm just gonna put it in the bedroom.
*He's pointing frantically at the kitchen. Echo doesn't understand. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her into the kitchen, just as the smoke alarm goes off.*
LARRY: (Yelling over the alarm) Bono accidentally set Cardboard Adam on fire!
ADAM: Accidentally, my arse! That was deliberate - and might I add TYPICAL - hostility towards the bass player!
ECHO: Well don't just STAND THERE you idiots! Put him out!
*Bono picks up Cardboard Adam and beats him repeatedly against the refrigerator to put out the flames. When he's done there's burnt cardboard everywhere, and ashes are still floating down. There is perfect silence, broken after fifteen long seconds.*
BONO: Um.....When the cookies are done baking can we put frosting on them?
------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!
"Never argue with someone who buys ink by the gallon." -Tommy Lasorda
"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono
Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas
The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165