Hard to believe it's been almost 10 years since Bono's dad passed away on 21 August 2001. I would have given anything to be at the Earl's Court show that night. In the clips I've seen of it on YouTube, the footage is grainy and there's a lot of camera shake, but I can still sense the intense emotion from Bono and from the audience. It is one of the most remarkable performances I've ever seen, and to this day I don't know how he was able to go straight from his father's deathbed to perform an amazing two-hour concert. You can see how cathartic it was for him, but he must have been completely drained when it was over.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what made Bono the person he is, and how improbable it was that he turned out as he did. When he lost his mother at age 14, there weren't any caring adults in his life who could serve as a support system for him. Bono and his dad weren't getting along then, and he wasn't close to his brother because of the age difference. As he has said, the place where he lived was no longer a home; it was just a house. They didn't even have much real food, instead eating packaged meals that his brother got from the airline where he worked.
My academic background is in psychology and counseling, and I have worked with troubled teens. Here's what usually happens in a situation like this: The kid loses his way. He gets involved in crime or substance abuse; he is depressed and anti-social. (My god, look at Kurt Cobain -- he blamed all of his problems on the fact that his parents got divorced. And they weren't even dead -- they just weren't living together anymore!)
Yet Bono did not travel down that dark path. Everybody who knew him when he was a teenager says he was the same as he is today: outgoing, friendly, warm, kind, generous. How did this happen? Why did he turn out okay when all the odds were against him?
He was lucky enough to be born with emotional resilience, a trait many kids don't have. Something inside Bono allows him to not only survive adversity, but to remain optimistic.
You might assume that his strong faith in God is what made the difference, though I would argue that the reverse is true -- it's his optimism that enables his faith.
I think forming a band helped him a lot. For Bono (and for Larry, who also lost his mother when he was a teenager), the band provided sort of a surrogate family. The bond between the four members of U2 is closer than it is for many people who are actually related to each other, and I think this is why they've been able to stay together for 35 years, through good times and bad.
Another of Bono's strengths, paradoxically, is his willingness to acknowledge his weaknesses. He's not too proud to reach out to others when he needs help -- which is the message he was trying to get across to his father in "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own."
I'm not trying to psychoanalyze the guy (that's already been done, in the book Bono on Bono). I'm just inspired by the way he's able to overcome obstacles and succeed, through sheer force of will. (Look at how quickly he recovered from serious injury last year. That doesn't happen automatically; it takes a lot of hard work.)
Though Bono may have seemed completely opposite from his father in terms of personality, there is one trait that he appears to have inherited from Bob Hewson: stubbornness. Maybe that's what Bono was referring to when he wrote, "If we weren't so alike, you'd like me a whole lot more."
Anyway, I'm glad father and son got a chance to reconcile and have some quality time together near the end. And I would like to thank Bob Hewson, because without him there would be no Bono and therefore no U2.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what made Bono the person he is, and how improbable it was that he turned out as he did. When he lost his mother at age 14, there weren't any caring adults in his life who could serve as a support system for him. Bono and his dad weren't getting along then, and he wasn't close to his brother because of the age difference. As he has said, the place where he lived was no longer a home; it was just a house. They didn't even have much real food, instead eating packaged meals that his brother got from the airline where he worked.
My academic background is in psychology and counseling, and I have worked with troubled teens. Here's what usually happens in a situation like this: The kid loses his way. He gets involved in crime or substance abuse; he is depressed and anti-social. (My god, look at Kurt Cobain -- he blamed all of his problems on the fact that his parents got divorced. And they weren't even dead -- they just weren't living together anymore!)
Yet Bono did not travel down that dark path. Everybody who knew him when he was a teenager says he was the same as he is today: outgoing, friendly, warm, kind, generous. How did this happen? Why did he turn out okay when all the odds were against him?
He was lucky enough to be born with emotional resilience, a trait many kids don't have. Something inside Bono allows him to not only survive adversity, but to remain optimistic.
You might assume that his strong faith in God is what made the difference, though I would argue that the reverse is true -- it's his optimism that enables his faith.
I think forming a band helped him a lot. For Bono (and for Larry, who also lost his mother when he was a teenager), the band provided sort of a surrogate family. The bond between the four members of U2 is closer than it is for many people who are actually related to each other, and I think this is why they've been able to stay together for 35 years, through good times and bad.
Another of Bono's strengths, paradoxically, is his willingness to acknowledge his weaknesses. He's not too proud to reach out to others when he needs help -- which is the message he was trying to get across to his father in "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own."
I'm not trying to psychoanalyze the guy (that's already been done, in the book Bono on Bono). I'm just inspired by the way he's able to overcome obstacles and succeed, through sheer force of will. (Look at how quickly he recovered from serious injury last year. That doesn't happen automatically; it takes a lot of hard work.)
Though Bono may have seemed completely opposite from his father in terms of personality, there is one trait that he appears to have inherited from Bob Hewson: stubbornness. Maybe that's what Bono was referring to when he wrote, "If we weren't so alike, you'd like me a whole lot more."
Anyway, I'm glad father and son got a chance to reconcile and have some quality time together near the end. And I would like to thank Bob Hewson, because without him there would be no Bono and therefore no U2.