Reggo
Blue Crack Addict
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"
Larry" will have a to wait a few chapters. I know, I know, you need your fixes, but trust me. It'll be worth it. 
For now, enjoy Adam and Lucy...destroying each other.
Disclaimer: Not one single word of this is true.
Borrowing Zooey's LIT technique of switching perspectives. It's the only way this chapter would've worked.
-----
Oh, Jesus. Oh, sweet Jesus, no. Jesus Harold Christ on rubber crutches, I can't be pregnant! Oh, God. Oh, good lord, what am I going to do?
There's a knock at the bathroom door. "Luce, you okay?" Larry shouts through it.
"Uh, yeah, just a sec!" I hide the pregnancy test in the trash and open the door.
"Céard é tá cearr?" Larry asks, grinning, like he already knows what I'm about to say.
"Nothing. I think I've got the flu," I shrug. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight."
"Great," Larry grins and carries me to bed and I let him make love to me. Adam and I have been working very little on getting back together. I haven't spoken to him since I left Eze. Two weeks later, Stacie and I moved out of the London house and into Larry's flat in Dublin. We've been living here for a few weeks, and it's been rather nice, actually. Larry's gone quite a bit, at Hanover Quay or at home. But when he is here, everything else just melts away and it's just me and him and Stacie, and, well, now, the new baby. The new baby. Adam and I will never be able to work anything out if I got knocked up by Larry. Part of me really wants it to be Adam's, but the other part is convinced it's Larry's baby. Oh, Jesus, what am I going to do?
When I wake up the next morning, I notice a slight difference in my waistline. "Oh, what, I find out I'm pregnant and I automatically start to show?" I grumble to myself. I get up and find Larry and Stacie in the kitchen having breakfast. Well, Larry's got half-eaten toast and a cup of coffee in front of him while he's reading the newspaper, and Stacie's covered herself in porridge. "You get to bathe her," I say, shaking my head.
"What?" Larry looks up from his paper. "Oh, shit, Stacie." He gets a napkin and starts trying to clean her off, but most of the porridge has dried on and she doesn't want Larry to touch her right now. "Wonderful. I'm supposed to meet Adam and Edge in twenty minutes. I can't give her a bath right now."
"Adam? He's back from France?" I ask, shocked.
"Yeah, finally. I don't know what Edge said, but it convinced him to leave Eze. We're meeting Bono at HQ at ten," Larry folds up his paper and shoves it under his coffee cup. "Can I just owe you one? I can't be late again today. Edge'll be suspicious."
"Breá."
Larry smiles, kisses my cheek, then strokes my waist gently. He knows. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Drive safe," I say and he slips out the door. I give Stacie her bath, which she enjoys, and I think about the baby I'm pregnant with. There's that word again. Pregnant. Larry, please keep that mouth shut. If you blab, Adam will never speak to me again. I was going to be in the London house when he came back. I was going to move Stacie and I back in and make it look like I'd never left. Now he knows that I'm not there. I have to tell him. Tell him that, yeah, I've been living with Larry because I had nowhere else to go. Tell him that I found out I'm pregnant. It'll turn into one hell of a fight, but I can't lie to him anymore. I can't be apart from him. I love Adam. What am I doing here? Why do I keep hurting him? This time, MacEachran, you're going to do the right thing.
I get Stacie out of the bath and dress her in her best dress, tame her curls, and then I get ready, wearing an outfit Adam never could keep on me for very long, and then packed up my and Stacie's things. I called Paul McGuinness and he arranged for the jet to take us to London and then back to Dublin. I got off the plane at Dublin Airport and there was a car waiting for Stacie and I to take us to Hanover Quay. I call Lanois to let me in the door and Adam comes with a security guard to open it. He looks good, rested, tanned, his hair's long, longer than I've ever seen it.
"Hi," I say. He smiles, more at Stacie than at me and takes her from me. He walks off with Stacie and I follow him. I don't try to talk to him, if he wants to talk, he'll start the conversation. There's a burst of excitement as Adam walks in the studio with Stacie. I hang back, not sure if I should go in. Edge, Bono, and Adam may ask me to leave the second I step foot in the door. So I stand in the corridor, looking at my feet and wondering if this is how it's going to be from now on. Silent treatment from Adam. Bono comes outside and walks behind me.
"Get in there, girl!" He puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me into the studio.
"Good to see you again, Lucy," Edge smiles. I lock eyes with Adam and I instantly know he wants to talk to me privately. Brian Eno and Danny Lanois leave the control booth and Adam and I walk in.
"I'm gonna go have a smoke," Larry says and walks outside, the last thing I hear before the door shuts and the booth becomes soundproof.
"Mexican soap opera?" Bono asks.
"Not this fight. This one's too serious," Edge says, sitting down. "And it's gonna be a while."
"I came home and you weren't there. Where've you been, Lucinda?" Adam asks, his voice cold. "And don't fucking lie to me."
I look at the floor. "Larry's flat. I didn't know where else to go, Adam. I did go home, but it wasn't home without you. I didn't feel welcome. So I left. Larry invited me over and I didn't leave. And if that wasn't enough, I found out I'm pregnant yesterday."
**********
"Pregnant? You're pregnant? I leave you alone for a month and this is what happens. Christ Almighty," I sigh. Lucy looks up from her feet.
"Adam, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hurt you. I don't love him. But if you don't want me around anymore, I understand," she says.
"Good. I'm glad you do. Cause I don't. I can't do this anymore. Edge told me that when I left Eze, you'd be at home waiting for me. That's the only reason I left. That's the only reason I came back. And you were living with Larry fucking Mullen the entire goddamn time? No, I don't want you around. I don't want you around my daughter either. I don't want that sort of influence on her. You're nothing but a fucking whore! Just like your mother. I should've known better than to trust a fan," my voice is raised, but I don't care.
"So, the past four years mean nothing to you?"
"They were a fucking lie! How often did you make up an excuse to leave so you could go fuck him? Once a month? Once a week? What about Stacie? Are you really sure she's even mine?"
"Of course she is! Why would you even think that?"
"You tell me, Lucinda."
"For your information, Larry was in fucking Hawaii for two months when I got pregnant with Stacie, getting drum lessons and vacationing with Ann and his kids. And you and I rarely left our bedroom."
"Okay, whatever. What about this new one? You have any fucking clue who its father is?"
"No," Lucy starts to cry. "No, I don't, okay?"
"Luce, don't," I groan. But I guess she's honestly crying because she doesn't just stop and I start to feel bad. "Lucy, don't cry."
"You're a cold, selfish arsehole," Lucy spits at me and walks out of the booth and out of the studio. Stacie starts to cry because her mum left and I try to soothe her.
**********
I walk outside, wanting to get as far away from here as I can. Larry spots me and runs after me. "Lucy! Honey, what's wrong?"
"Chríochnaíodh sibh." I say, stopping in my tracks. "It's over. He screamed at me for ten minutes and I just couldn't take it. I walked out. I'm done. I can't deal with him anymore."
"A stór Lucy," he wraps his arms around me. "Gabh mo leithscéal." My precious Lucy. I'm sorry.
"Don't apologize for him," I whisper. Larry holds me tight until fans catch wind that he's outside on this side of the building and start walking over to him. We quickly go back inside before anyone gets too close and Adam is searching for me. Larry takes my hand and I'm surprised he's being so brazen in front of Adam.
"Jesus Christ, why did I even bother? I knew you'd run to him, even though I was hoping you didn't," Adam rolls his eyes and smirks. "She just told me she doesn't love you."
"Get the fuck out of here, Clayton. If all you want to do is make her feel worse, get the fuck out of here before I punch your goddamn lights out. I'm not going to let you talk to her like this," Larry growls at Adam and pushes me behind him, protecting me. Adam looks at me.
"I love you. I love you, Adam. But we are through," I say, grip Larry's hand tighter and look at the floor.
"You mean it," Adam says softly, the blow falling hard. "You're not just saying that to piss me off. You're serious."
"I'm sorry," I whisper and turn my face to Larry's shoulder, where I start to cry again.
"Socraigh," Larry whispers to me. Calm down.
"Lucy, please don't do this," Adam says. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. You just--you drive me crazy, love. I want you around, I want you in my life, in Stacie's life."
"No," I say. Even Larry looks at me, shocked.
"Why not?" Adam asks, his voice very small.
"Because either way, you'll never forgive me. You'll never trust me again. I can't live like that," I look into his blue eyes, so full of sadness. "We can work out a schedule for Stacie, I guess."
"Lucy, don't do this just to hurt him," Larry says.
"I'm not. I'm telling the truth. The entire time we were in Eze, he didn't trust me for a second. He couldn't make himself trust me. He'll always be paranoid. Every time I leave the house, he'll wonder if I'm seeing you. I'd just rather not sneak around anymore," I let go of Larry's hand and kiss his cheek. "Beidh mé ag an árasán." Then I walk out of HQ.
**********
I stare at Larry, shocked, enraged, but lost for words or actions. Lucy just walked out on me. He clears his throat, I doubt he was expecting her to choose him this time either. Bono finds us. "Where's Lucy?"
"Ask Lardence," I say, going back to the studio. Bono stares at Larry for a few seconds, then follows me.
"What do you mean, 'ask Lardence'? What happened? I thought you two were going to work things out," Bono is at my heels and it irritates me.
"She doesn't want to. Okay? She'd rather stay with Larry and have his kids and be his mistress or whatever than stand one more second with me and Stacie. That's right. She's giving up Stacie, too. That's how much she hates me," I throw open the door to the studio and Dave is giving Stacie a keyboard lesson. She grins at me, her mother's smile, and my heart breaks. "I'm not ready for this yet. I'm going to take her home and sort things out."
"What happened with Lucy?" Dave stops plinking around. Stacie looks up at him, then steals the beanie clean off his head and puts it on her own. "Did you see that? Invasion of the beanie snatcher," Dave starts tickling Stacie, which she loves.
"Talk to Larry. I need to go home," I say, taking my daughter from him. My eyes are hot, they want to cry, but I won't. Can't. Not in front of them, not until I get home and Stacie is in her playpen and I find Lucy's suitcase in our bedroom. Not until her words burn into me, 'You'll never forgive me. You'll never trust me again.'
I talk to myself out loud, "And what did she say in Irish to Larry when she left? What did that even mean? Larry was a regular rabbit in headlights. So I don't think they planned that. And she's pregnant. Jesus Christ, she's pregnant. Doesn't matter if the kid's mine, I'll probably never see it."
I think about calling Lucy and trying to talk to her, but I know she won't. She'll ignore me until she calms down. If she calms down.
"Fuck it. If she would do that to me, she's not worth any of my time or respect," I sigh, go back downstairs and confront life as a single father.
Larry" will have a to wait a few chapters. I know, I know, you need your fixes, but trust me. It'll be worth it. For now, enjoy Adam and Lucy...destroying each other.Disclaimer: Not one single word of this is true.
Borrowing Zooey's LIT technique of switching perspectives. It's the only way this chapter would've worked.
-----
Oh, Jesus. Oh, sweet Jesus, no. Jesus Harold Christ on rubber crutches, I can't be pregnant! Oh, God. Oh, good lord, what am I going to do?
There's a knock at the bathroom door. "Luce, you okay?" Larry shouts through it.
"Uh, yeah, just a sec!" I hide the pregnancy test in the trash and open the door.
"Céard é tá cearr?" Larry asks, grinning, like he already knows what I'm about to say.
"Nothing. I think I've got the flu," I shrug. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight."
"Great," Larry grins and carries me to bed and I let him make love to me. Adam and I have been working very little on getting back together. I haven't spoken to him since I left Eze. Two weeks later, Stacie and I moved out of the London house and into Larry's flat in Dublin. We've been living here for a few weeks, and it's been rather nice, actually. Larry's gone quite a bit, at Hanover Quay or at home. But when he is here, everything else just melts away and it's just me and him and Stacie, and, well, now, the new baby. The new baby. Adam and I will never be able to work anything out if I got knocked up by Larry. Part of me really wants it to be Adam's, but the other part is convinced it's Larry's baby. Oh, Jesus, what am I going to do?
When I wake up the next morning, I notice a slight difference in my waistline. "Oh, what, I find out I'm pregnant and I automatically start to show?" I grumble to myself. I get up and find Larry and Stacie in the kitchen having breakfast. Well, Larry's got half-eaten toast and a cup of coffee in front of him while he's reading the newspaper, and Stacie's covered herself in porridge. "You get to bathe her," I say, shaking my head.
"What?" Larry looks up from his paper. "Oh, shit, Stacie." He gets a napkin and starts trying to clean her off, but most of the porridge has dried on and she doesn't want Larry to touch her right now. "Wonderful. I'm supposed to meet Adam and Edge in twenty minutes. I can't give her a bath right now."
"Adam? He's back from France?" I ask, shocked.
"Yeah, finally. I don't know what Edge said, but it convinced him to leave Eze. We're meeting Bono at HQ at ten," Larry folds up his paper and shoves it under his coffee cup. "Can I just owe you one? I can't be late again today. Edge'll be suspicious."
"Breá."
Larry smiles, kisses my cheek, then strokes my waist gently. He knows. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Drive safe," I say and he slips out the door. I give Stacie her bath, which she enjoys, and I think about the baby I'm pregnant with. There's that word again. Pregnant. Larry, please keep that mouth shut. If you blab, Adam will never speak to me again. I was going to be in the London house when he came back. I was going to move Stacie and I back in and make it look like I'd never left. Now he knows that I'm not there. I have to tell him. Tell him that, yeah, I've been living with Larry because I had nowhere else to go. Tell him that I found out I'm pregnant. It'll turn into one hell of a fight, but I can't lie to him anymore. I can't be apart from him. I love Adam. What am I doing here? Why do I keep hurting him? This time, MacEachran, you're going to do the right thing.
I get Stacie out of the bath and dress her in her best dress, tame her curls, and then I get ready, wearing an outfit Adam never could keep on me for very long, and then packed up my and Stacie's things. I called Paul McGuinness and he arranged for the jet to take us to London and then back to Dublin. I got off the plane at Dublin Airport and there was a car waiting for Stacie and I to take us to Hanover Quay. I call Lanois to let me in the door and Adam comes with a security guard to open it. He looks good, rested, tanned, his hair's long, longer than I've ever seen it.
"Hi," I say. He smiles, more at Stacie than at me and takes her from me. He walks off with Stacie and I follow him. I don't try to talk to him, if he wants to talk, he'll start the conversation. There's a burst of excitement as Adam walks in the studio with Stacie. I hang back, not sure if I should go in. Edge, Bono, and Adam may ask me to leave the second I step foot in the door. So I stand in the corridor, looking at my feet and wondering if this is how it's going to be from now on. Silent treatment from Adam. Bono comes outside and walks behind me.
"Get in there, girl!" He puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me into the studio.
"Good to see you again, Lucy," Edge smiles. I lock eyes with Adam and I instantly know he wants to talk to me privately. Brian Eno and Danny Lanois leave the control booth and Adam and I walk in.
"I'm gonna go have a smoke," Larry says and walks outside, the last thing I hear before the door shuts and the booth becomes soundproof.
"Mexican soap opera?" Bono asks.
"Not this fight. This one's too serious," Edge says, sitting down. "And it's gonna be a while."
"I came home and you weren't there. Where've you been, Lucinda?" Adam asks, his voice cold. "And don't fucking lie to me."
I look at the floor. "Larry's flat. I didn't know where else to go, Adam. I did go home, but it wasn't home without you. I didn't feel welcome. So I left. Larry invited me over and I didn't leave. And if that wasn't enough, I found out I'm pregnant yesterday."
**********
"Pregnant? You're pregnant? I leave you alone for a month and this is what happens. Christ Almighty," I sigh. Lucy looks up from her feet.
"Adam, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hurt you. I don't love him. But if you don't want me around anymore, I understand," she says.
"Good. I'm glad you do. Cause I don't. I can't do this anymore. Edge told me that when I left Eze, you'd be at home waiting for me. That's the only reason I left. That's the only reason I came back. And you were living with Larry fucking Mullen the entire goddamn time? No, I don't want you around. I don't want you around my daughter either. I don't want that sort of influence on her. You're nothing but a fucking whore! Just like your mother. I should've known better than to trust a fan," my voice is raised, but I don't care.
"So, the past four years mean nothing to you?"
"They were a fucking lie! How often did you make up an excuse to leave so you could go fuck him? Once a month? Once a week? What about Stacie? Are you really sure she's even mine?"
"Of course she is! Why would you even think that?"
"You tell me, Lucinda."
"For your information, Larry was in fucking Hawaii for two months when I got pregnant with Stacie, getting drum lessons and vacationing with Ann and his kids. And you and I rarely left our bedroom."
"Okay, whatever. What about this new one? You have any fucking clue who its father is?"
"No," Lucy starts to cry. "No, I don't, okay?"
"Luce, don't," I groan. But I guess she's honestly crying because she doesn't just stop and I start to feel bad. "Lucy, don't cry."
"You're a cold, selfish arsehole," Lucy spits at me and walks out of the booth and out of the studio. Stacie starts to cry because her mum left and I try to soothe her.
**********
I walk outside, wanting to get as far away from here as I can. Larry spots me and runs after me. "Lucy! Honey, what's wrong?"
"Chríochnaíodh sibh." I say, stopping in my tracks. "It's over. He screamed at me for ten minutes and I just couldn't take it. I walked out. I'm done. I can't deal with him anymore."
"A stór Lucy," he wraps his arms around me. "Gabh mo leithscéal." My precious Lucy. I'm sorry.
"Don't apologize for him," I whisper. Larry holds me tight until fans catch wind that he's outside on this side of the building and start walking over to him. We quickly go back inside before anyone gets too close and Adam is searching for me. Larry takes my hand and I'm surprised he's being so brazen in front of Adam.
"Jesus Christ, why did I even bother? I knew you'd run to him, even though I was hoping you didn't," Adam rolls his eyes and smirks. "She just told me she doesn't love you."
"Get the fuck out of here, Clayton. If all you want to do is make her feel worse, get the fuck out of here before I punch your goddamn lights out. I'm not going to let you talk to her like this," Larry growls at Adam and pushes me behind him, protecting me. Adam looks at me.
"I love you. I love you, Adam. But we are through," I say, grip Larry's hand tighter and look at the floor.
"You mean it," Adam says softly, the blow falling hard. "You're not just saying that to piss me off. You're serious."
"I'm sorry," I whisper and turn my face to Larry's shoulder, where I start to cry again.
"Socraigh," Larry whispers to me. Calm down.
"Lucy, please don't do this," Adam says. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. You just--you drive me crazy, love. I want you around, I want you in my life, in Stacie's life."
"No," I say. Even Larry looks at me, shocked.
"Why not?" Adam asks, his voice very small.
"Because either way, you'll never forgive me. You'll never trust me again. I can't live like that," I look into his blue eyes, so full of sadness. "We can work out a schedule for Stacie, I guess."
"Lucy, don't do this just to hurt him," Larry says.
"I'm not. I'm telling the truth. The entire time we were in Eze, he didn't trust me for a second. He couldn't make himself trust me. He'll always be paranoid. Every time I leave the house, he'll wonder if I'm seeing you. I'd just rather not sneak around anymore," I let go of Larry's hand and kiss his cheek. "Beidh mé ag an árasán." Then I walk out of HQ.
**********
I stare at Larry, shocked, enraged, but lost for words or actions. Lucy just walked out on me. He clears his throat, I doubt he was expecting her to choose him this time either. Bono finds us. "Where's Lucy?"
"Ask Lardence," I say, going back to the studio. Bono stares at Larry for a few seconds, then follows me.
"What do you mean, 'ask Lardence'? What happened? I thought you two were going to work things out," Bono is at my heels and it irritates me.
"She doesn't want to. Okay? She'd rather stay with Larry and have his kids and be his mistress or whatever than stand one more second with me and Stacie. That's right. She's giving up Stacie, too. That's how much she hates me," I throw open the door to the studio and Dave is giving Stacie a keyboard lesson. She grins at me, her mother's smile, and my heart breaks. "I'm not ready for this yet. I'm going to take her home and sort things out."
"What happened with Lucy?" Dave stops plinking around. Stacie looks up at him, then steals the beanie clean off his head and puts it on her own. "Did you see that? Invasion of the beanie snatcher," Dave starts tickling Stacie, which she loves.
"Talk to Larry. I need to go home," I say, taking my daughter from him. My eyes are hot, they want to cry, but I won't. Can't. Not in front of them, not until I get home and Stacie is in her playpen and I find Lucy's suitcase in our bedroom. Not until her words burn into me, 'You'll never forgive me. You'll never trust me again.'
I talk to myself out loud, "And what did she say in Irish to Larry when she left? What did that even mean? Larry was a regular rabbit in headlights. So I don't think they planned that. And she's pregnant. Jesus Christ, she's pregnant. Doesn't matter if the kid's mine, I'll probably never see it."
I think about calling Lucy and trying to talk to her, but I know she won't. She'll ignore me until she calms down. If she calms down.
"Fuck it. If she would do that to me, she's not worth any of my time or respect," I sigh, go back downstairs and confront life as a single father.
this has so many twists !
