jobob
Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
Goin' to the Chapel
"Guess who's back, back again, guess who's back, tell a friend ..." Eminem, "Without Me."
Disclaimer/Notes: It's the lucky thirteenth chapter, kids! Which I am way, way, way behind in posting. The calendar says it's mid-November, but this chapter is set at the end of September. This is still fiction. B's still based on Bono. Dave is based on The Edge. jobob's still doing her revisionist Bono history thing. There still isn't any U2 in jobob's bizarro world. I hope you'll still have fun. I'd like to thank The Gideons for those handy hotel room Bibles.
I didn't meet Bono on the first leg on my Tour of the Vertigo Tour, but Bono was thisclose to me in Chicago on Sept. 20. And I had one of the times of my life in the ellipse on Oct. 25 at The Palace of Auburn Hills. Click on "View Journal" to read about my Tour of the Vertigo Tour.
This story, complete with "extended scenes," is also in the process of being posted to the new U2-fanfiction.com web site.
You went to see B's minister a few days after your engagement. Before he'll discuss setting a date, he asks you how you met, how long you've know each other, and if you're both members of the church.
"We met at the start of the summer. She's a librarian, and I asked her out while I was visiting the library," B tells the minister. "I've been attending the church since shortly after I moved to town this spring."
"I was raised Catholic, but I've attended your services several times with B and with my stepmother. I enjoy your services, and I've learned from them. I'm considering joining your congregation. I think I'd like to have you officiate my wedding."
"Thank you. Have either one of you been married before?"
"No."
"No."
"Do you live together now?"
"No."
"No. I'm spending more time at her home now, and I plan to move there after our wedding," B tells his minister, "but we don't plan to move in together before we're married. We're both rather traditional about that."
"Do either one of you have children?"
May as well tell him; he'll know soon enough. "We will at the end of April. I'm pregnant."
"Congratulations. That's one reason for me to marry the two of you, isn't it?"
"You're not going to judge me? Or B?"
"As the Bible says, judge not. It also says we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. And you're choosing to bring a new life into the world."
He gave you both a lengthy questionaire, a compatability test, to fill out and return to him. It asked you questions about how you handle your finances, how you settle your disagreements, how you spend your leisure time, how you feel about raising children, even your sex life. "I'm going to ask you to read through this and answer these questions. Don't answer the questions how you think your partner wants you to answer them, but how you would answer them," the minister tells both of you.
*****
The next night, B comes to your house.
"Did you work on the questionaire, B?"
"Last night and today, J."
"Want to talk about some of it? That's probably half the reason the minister gave it to us."
"Okay. Starting with children. You already know I want to be an involved father, to care for our baby as much as I can."
"Oh, yes. So how do you feel about disciplining and educating children, B? Or about my being a working mother? Many librarians work part-time. I was thinking of working part-time after we marry and I have the baby. Maybe a few weekends a month or an evening or two a week? Then you could care for our child while I'm at work."
"That would give me time with our baby. But would I still get to see you?"
"I hope so."
"How do you feel about money, J?"
"Lack of it is, indeed, the root of all evil. But you mean when it comes to married couples? I do believe in saving it and in spending it, and I would like to be able to spend some of our money on my own, for my own needs, without needing to have approval. As for saving, we need to start a college fund for the baby, and I need to contribute more to my retirement fund. My biggest investment is the house Mom left me. I've paid off my credit cards, but I have a student loan. How do you feel about saving and spending money? What investments do you have? Dave did tell me you're an investor in his hotel ..."
You discuss your financial situations and describe your accounts to each other. You agree to put his name on your house after your wedding. He's increasing his life insurance to cover you and the baby, and is making you the beneficiary of his accounts.
"Okay, so that's one of the two biggest things they say married couples fight about. And the other is sex," you say to B.
"J, I'm a lover, not a fighter."
"Luckily, we haven't been fighting about sex. I know we've gone from doing it all the time to doing it only once since I got pregnant."
"We're still affectionate. You're still interested in it and in me, but I know you haven't been feeling like your old self." He hugs you close to his side. "Now, if you stopped kissing me, stopped hugging me, stopped holding hands with me, and didn't seem interested in me, I'd have something to fight about. And fight for. J, I believe sexuality is one of God's greatest gifts. However, I can go without having sex when I have to."
"That's good."
"And another thing ... you are more pessimistic than I am," B says to you. "I don't mean to insult you, J, but it's true."
"Yes, it is. You are more optimistic than I am, which is nice. I do need to be around someone who sees the bright side of things," you tell B.
"And you can be more level-headed than I am, which is good for me to be around," B tells you.
*****
It's 11 a.m. on a Tuesday in mid-September. The town library board met last night to discuss cutting the next fiscal year's budget, which starts Oct. 1. Your state budget is in terrible shape. Everyone knows the federal budget has had to change since the end of August. Even though your library is in an affluent suburb, the city council's fiscal conservatives have been balancing the city budget by cutting "nonessential services" like the library. For weeks there's been talk among the staff and the Friends of the Library members of big cuts in library hours and budgets. And maybe staff cuts. The library staff is nervous. So are the patrons.
As you come into the library, the library director asks you to come into her office.
"Jo, as you know, public libaries have been through tough times the last few years. Our library budget has had to be cut for the new fiscal year. The state kept cutting its appropriations to libraries. And with so much federal money going towards rebuilding New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, we're not expecting any new federal grants next year. So at the library board meeting last night, the board voted to postpone the library remodeling project and reduce operating hours. They also eliminated two full-time librarians and a part-time librarian."
"Did they eliminate my job?"
"Jo, I'm very sorry. They did. You've been a very good librarian. But since you're our newest librarian, they decided to eliminate your position I wish we could keep you."
"I have enjoyed working here. It's been a very good place to work."
"I wish we could keep you here, Jo. However, we simply can't afford to pay you after the new fiscal year begins in October. Your job will end today. I will give you an excellent reference. You can keep your health insurance after the end of the month, but you'll have to pay the entire premium. I wish we could do more for you. Here's your last check, your severance papers, and the paperwork for continuing your health insurance. Please keep in touch, Jo. We would love to hear from you again. We'd even love to have you back if the financial situation improves or we do need to fill another opening."
"It's been a pleasure working for you. Thank you for the opportunity." You quickly read and sign the severance papers, then shake the director's hand. You leave her office, clean out the few things you had in your storage locker, go home, have a good cry, and call B at work.
"The Dales library board cut the budget last night. They elimimated three librarians. You know Mrs. Miles retired last month, so they're not filling her position. They're getting rid of my old part-time nights and weekends shift, as we all thought they would. And I don't have my job any more."
"Oh, J. I'm so sorry. What are you going to do now?"
"Call the unemployment office and file for unemployment. Rewrite my resume. Search job listings on the Internet. Call my university and professional association placement offices. See if I can get an extension on my student loan. Then take a nap? Because the very thought of all of this is exhausting. I don't know what I'm going to do for health insurance. I can keep it, but I have to pay the entire cost starting in October. I wish America had socialized medicine. I've heard socialized medicine isn't perfect. But it's got to be better than making an unemployed pregnant woman pay hundreds of dollars a month to keep her prenatal care."
"Maybe I can think of something, love." You hear B type on his computer keyboard. "I found the Intranet page I was looking for! I'm going to look at some things on the net and make some phone calls and write some e-mails about this." He whispers into the phone. "Don't tell my boss, but I might not get my work done this morning." B resumes his normal voice: "I'll call you back by this afternoon, J. I love you. God bless you."
"I could use His help now. Thanks, honeybee."
*****
A few hours later, B calls you back.
"J, there's a way I can add you to my health insurance."
"How?"
"Marry me."
"Why, B, I think this is now the third time you've proposed."
"I'm being practical this time, J. You'd automatically be added to my health insurance plan as of our wedding day."
"Oh! You're usually not the practical one of the two of us, B. But I think I get it ..."
"We'll just speed up our wedding plans. We can fly off to Vegas this weekend, or get a licence and get married here somewhere and somehow. Come on, J, what do you say?"
"I don't know what to say."
"Say 'I Do.' Soon."
"Guess who's back, back again, guess who's back, tell a friend ..." Eminem, "Without Me."
Disclaimer/Notes: It's the lucky thirteenth chapter, kids! Which I am way, way, way behind in posting. The calendar says it's mid-November, but this chapter is set at the end of September. This is still fiction. B's still based on Bono. Dave is based on The Edge. jobob's still doing her revisionist Bono history thing. There still isn't any U2 in jobob's bizarro world. I hope you'll still have fun. I'd like to thank The Gideons for those handy hotel room Bibles.
I didn't meet Bono on the first leg on my Tour of the Vertigo Tour, but Bono was thisclose to me in Chicago on Sept. 20. And I had one of the times of my life in the ellipse on Oct. 25 at The Palace of Auburn Hills. Click on "View Journal" to read about my Tour of the Vertigo Tour.
This story, complete with "extended scenes," is also in the process of being posted to the new U2-fanfiction.com web site.
You went to see B's minister a few days after your engagement. Before he'll discuss setting a date, he asks you how you met, how long you've know each other, and if you're both members of the church.
"We met at the start of the summer. She's a librarian, and I asked her out while I was visiting the library," B tells the minister. "I've been attending the church since shortly after I moved to town this spring."
"I was raised Catholic, but I've attended your services several times with B and with my stepmother. I enjoy your services, and I've learned from them. I'm considering joining your congregation. I think I'd like to have you officiate my wedding."
"Thank you. Have either one of you been married before?"
"No."
"No."
"Do you live together now?"
"No."
"No. I'm spending more time at her home now, and I plan to move there after our wedding," B tells his minister, "but we don't plan to move in together before we're married. We're both rather traditional about that."
"Do either one of you have children?"
May as well tell him; he'll know soon enough. "We will at the end of April. I'm pregnant."
"Congratulations. That's one reason for me to marry the two of you, isn't it?"
"You're not going to judge me? Or B?"
"As the Bible says, judge not. It also says we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. And you're choosing to bring a new life into the world."
He gave you both a lengthy questionaire, a compatability test, to fill out and return to him. It asked you questions about how you handle your finances, how you settle your disagreements, how you spend your leisure time, how you feel about raising children, even your sex life. "I'm going to ask you to read through this and answer these questions. Don't answer the questions how you think your partner wants you to answer them, but how you would answer them," the minister tells both of you.
*****
The next night, B comes to your house.
"Did you work on the questionaire, B?"
"Last night and today, J."
"Want to talk about some of it? That's probably half the reason the minister gave it to us."
"Okay. Starting with children. You already know I want to be an involved father, to care for our baby as much as I can."
"Oh, yes. So how do you feel about disciplining and educating children, B? Or about my being a working mother? Many librarians work part-time. I was thinking of working part-time after we marry and I have the baby. Maybe a few weekends a month or an evening or two a week? Then you could care for our child while I'm at work."
"That would give me time with our baby. But would I still get to see you?"
"I hope so."
"How do you feel about money, J?"
"Lack of it is, indeed, the root of all evil. But you mean when it comes to married couples? I do believe in saving it and in spending it, and I would like to be able to spend some of our money on my own, for my own needs, without needing to have approval. As for saving, we need to start a college fund for the baby, and I need to contribute more to my retirement fund. My biggest investment is the house Mom left me. I've paid off my credit cards, but I have a student loan. How do you feel about saving and spending money? What investments do you have? Dave did tell me you're an investor in his hotel ..."
You discuss your financial situations and describe your accounts to each other. You agree to put his name on your house after your wedding. He's increasing his life insurance to cover you and the baby, and is making you the beneficiary of his accounts.
"Okay, so that's one of the two biggest things they say married couples fight about. And the other is sex," you say to B.
"J, I'm a lover, not a fighter."
"Luckily, we haven't been fighting about sex. I know we've gone from doing it all the time to doing it only once since I got pregnant."
"We're still affectionate. You're still interested in it and in me, but I know you haven't been feeling like your old self." He hugs you close to his side. "Now, if you stopped kissing me, stopped hugging me, stopped holding hands with me, and didn't seem interested in me, I'd have something to fight about. And fight for. J, I believe sexuality is one of God's greatest gifts. However, I can go without having sex when I have to."
"That's good."
"And another thing ... you are more pessimistic than I am," B says to you. "I don't mean to insult you, J, but it's true."
"Yes, it is. You are more optimistic than I am, which is nice. I do need to be around someone who sees the bright side of things," you tell B.
"And you can be more level-headed than I am, which is good for me to be around," B tells you.
*****
It's 11 a.m. on a Tuesday in mid-September. The town library board met last night to discuss cutting the next fiscal year's budget, which starts Oct. 1. Your state budget is in terrible shape. Everyone knows the federal budget has had to change since the end of August. Even though your library is in an affluent suburb, the city council's fiscal conservatives have been balancing the city budget by cutting "nonessential services" like the library. For weeks there's been talk among the staff and the Friends of the Library members of big cuts in library hours and budgets. And maybe staff cuts. The library staff is nervous. So are the patrons.
As you come into the library, the library director asks you to come into her office.
"Jo, as you know, public libaries have been through tough times the last few years. Our library budget has had to be cut for the new fiscal year. The state kept cutting its appropriations to libraries. And with so much federal money going towards rebuilding New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, we're not expecting any new federal grants next year. So at the library board meeting last night, the board voted to postpone the library remodeling project and reduce operating hours. They also eliminated two full-time librarians and a part-time librarian."
"Did they eliminate my job?"
"Jo, I'm very sorry. They did. You've been a very good librarian. But since you're our newest librarian, they decided to eliminate your position I wish we could keep you."
"I have enjoyed working here. It's been a very good place to work."
"I wish we could keep you here, Jo. However, we simply can't afford to pay you after the new fiscal year begins in October. Your job will end today. I will give you an excellent reference. You can keep your health insurance after the end of the month, but you'll have to pay the entire premium. I wish we could do more for you. Here's your last check, your severance papers, and the paperwork for continuing your health insurance. Please keep in touch, Jo. We would love to hear from you again. We'd even love to have you back if the financial situation improves or we do need to fill another opening."
"It's been a pleasure working for you. Thank you for the opportunity." You quickly read and sign the severance papers, then shake the director's hand. You leave her office, clean out the few things you had in your storage locker, go home, have a good cry, and call B at work.
"The Dales library board cut the budget last night. They elimimated three librarians. You know Mrs. Miles retired last month, so they're not filling her position. They're getting rid of my old part-time nights and weekends shift, as we all thought they would. And I don't have my job any more."
"Oh, J. I'm so sorry. What are you going to do now?"
"Call the unemployment office and file for unemployment. Rewrite my resume. Search job listings on the Internet. Call my university and professional association placement offices. See if I can get an extension on my student loan. Then take a nap? Because the very thought of all of this is exhausting. I don't know what I'm going to do for health insurance. I can keep it, but I have to pay the entire cost starting in October. I wish America had socialized medicine. I've heard socialized medicine isn't perfect. But it's got to be better than making an unemployed pregnant woman pay hundreds of dollars a month to keep her prenatal care."
"Maybe I can think of something, love." You hear B type on his computer keyboard. "I found the Intranet page I was looking for! I'm going to look at some things on the net and make some phone calls and write some e-mails about this." He whispers into the phone. "Don't tell my boss, but I might not get my work done this morning." B resumes his normal voice: "I'll call you back by this afternoon, J. I love you. God bless you."
"I could use His help now. Thanks, honeybee."
*****
A few hours later, B calls you back.
"J, there's a way I can add you to my health insurance."
"How?"
"Marry me."
"Why, B, I think this is now the third time you've proposed."
"I'm being practical this time, J. You'd automatically be added to my health insurance plan as of our wedding day."
"Oh! You're usually not the practical one of the two of us, B. But I think I get it ..."
"We'll just speed up our wedding plans. We can fly off to Vegas this weekend, or get a licence and get married here somewhere and somehow. Come on, J, what do you say?"
"I don't know what to say."
"Say 'I Do.' Soon."
