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Old 12-17-2001, 03:40 PM   #1
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THE LEMON WEDGE

Note to readers: Sorry about the *ahem* "length" of this script. It was very "hard" to write. I "felt around" for the best words, and, after my thinking became "elevated", it was easy.

Hmm...I think Mona should have passed out from over scandalization by now...

Off with the horns, on with the show...


-------------------------------------


*Echo, and Mona enter the front door of the brand new themed restaurant, The Lemon Wedge.*

ECHO: *Holds hand up to sign, blocking the “W”* LOOK!! IT SAYS “EDGE!!”
MONA: *Sigh*
ECHO: Hey, don’t sigh at me. Yer the one who made “Bono” out of “Bon-Bon”
MONA: Hee hee…..NOW I’m starvin’…

*All along the walls are memorabilia from the popular Irish band. Some of Edge’s guitars…A pair of Bono’s pants (which are under glass and protected by a state-of-the-art anti-theft system, as well as armed guards; they know Mona too well)…an autographed pair of drumsticks from Larry, and an oddly large collection of Adam’s clothing. Above the main dining area hangs the famous Mirrorball Lemon. Quite the collection of artifacts, including a replica of the Joshua tree.*

ECHO: *Whistles* Wow…
MONA: No kidding.
ECHO: Man, I don’t think we’re gonna survive this.
MONA: *Looks over* BONO’S PANTS!! *Scram!*
ECHO: What? *Sees the security* Mona, no!
MONA: *Eyes glazed over* BonoBonoBonoBonojumponBonoBono…
*Just then, two large security guards tackle Mona*
MONA: BonoBonodefileBonoBonoBonoBono….
ECHO: *Walking over* It’s alright, gentlemen. Just let me handle this…*Gets Mona on her feet* Hey, look, you gotta play it cool, here. You can’t just go running all out toward Bono’s pants, drooling like a hormonally imbalanced fruitcake, you gotta-*Spies The Wall Of Edge’s Hats**Eyes glazed over* EdgeEdgeEdgeEdgesexysexyEdge….*Starts to walk toward it, but Mona grabs her arm*
MONA: Hey, if I can’t, then YOU can’t.
ECHO: Fair enough. Let’s get a table.
*They walk back to the host’s podium. A young man dressed like Larry stands there*
HOST: Welcome to The Lemon Wedge, the perfect restaurant for YOU TWO.
*Echo and Mona are not impressed*
HOST: Get it? YOU TWO? U2?
ECHO: Dood, Scottphisto can make better jokes than tha-..oh wait. No he can’t…
HOST: Table for two?
BOTH GIRLS: *Nod*
HOST: How about over there next to the lifesize wax models of the band?
BOTH GIRLS: *Big smiles, Nod emphatically*
HOST: Um, right this way…
*The host seats them*
HOST: Your waiter will be right with you. *Leaves*
MONA: He’s not Larry. I can tell. So, Echo, why didn’t you bring A. Edge? I’d bet he’d love this place.
ECHO: Actually, he’s in for repairs. Scottphisto set him on fire again.
MONA: AGAIN? How?
ECHO: The same as the last three times: he over-scandalized him. A.E. combusted, but for real.
MONA: *Sigh* Hey, speaking of Scottphisto, wasn’t he supposed to meet us here?
ECHO: Yeah, where is the little twerp?
VOICE: *From next to them* Are you ready to order?
ECHO: Wha?
MONA: Oh my…
*They turn to see Scottphisto, dressed as the Fly, is their waiter.*
MONA: !!!!!!!!!!!
ECHO: That’s…quite a get up there..
SCOTTPHISTO: Yeah…I mean, the jacket and the shades are cool…but….
ECHO: But…what?
SCOTTPHISTO: *Leans in close to the girls….softly* These pants are so tight. I get embarrassed during….um……..er….
ECHO: Elevation?
SCOTTPHISTO: *Nods* It’s really embaras-….Mona? Mona, are you okay?
MONA: *Eyes glazed over* RRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!! *Tackles Scottphisto*
SCOTTPHISTO: OOF!! Hey, now, this isn’t right, I mean…waitaminnit…WHOOO HOOOO!!!!!!
ECHO: *Throws glass of water on them* C’mon, you two. You’re making a scene…*Sees an Edge look-alike* Huminahuminahumina…*Tackle*
LOOKALIKE: OW!!! My arm!!
ECHO: Shaddup, little man! Yer mine now!! It’s time to bullfight on the catwalk, if ya know what I mean!!!
MONA: *Grabbing her arms and pulling her off the hapless young look-alike* C’mon, Echo..*pulls, but no use* Scottphisto, help! Scottphisto?
SCOTTPHISTO: *Eyes glazed over, a smile on his face* Hee hee…I was pounced….hee hee….*giggles to self*
MONA: *sigh* *Splashes water on Echo* Knock it off!
ECHO: *Blinks* Oops. Mona, we’re in danger here.
MONA: Agreed. We’d better get outta- *Sees a Joshua Tree Bono look-alike* Heh heh heh…*starts walking toward him*
ECHO: MONA!!
MONA: *Stops, shakes head* Oh, man….we HAVE to get outta here…
ECHO: Yes. Immediately.
*Suddenly, Sting and Stewart Copeland walk in*
STING: Hey, I’m sorry for all those years I was a pompous ass. Lemme buy you a burger.
STEWART: Sure, buddy!
BOTH GIRLS: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STING: Hey, let’s sit right her, Stew.
STEWART: Great idea, pal!
*The two musicians sit at a booth. The both of them chatting as if they were the best of pals.*
MONA: Heh heh…they’re vulnerable, Echo. Let’s get ‘em! You take the tall one, and I’ll-
ECHO: Wait…something’s not right…
MONA: WHAT?? IT CAN’T GET MUCH RIGHTER!!!
ECHO: Since when have Sting and Stewart been all chummy?
MONA: I don’t care! Let’s get ‘em while they’re unsuspecting!!
ECHO: Hmm……oh, feck it!
BOTH GIRLS: *POUNCE!!*
STEWART: What the? Hey, let go of my stick!
ECHO: Um…NO.
STING: *Fighting off Mona* Why’d you bring yer drumstick, man?
STEWART: *Struggling with Echo* I figured if we had to shoot a video, I’d be ready.
MONA: LESS TALK, MORE DEFILE!!!
ECHO: LIKEWISE!! *Echo reaches down-
MONA: !!!!!!!!!!
*HEY!! THIS IS NARRATION!!! YOU CAN’T HEAR THIS!!!*
MONA: Oh. Right. Carry on.
*Ahem…as I was saying, Echo reaches down to Stewarts FACE and begins to pull it off!! A mask!!*
ECHO: What the hell?? It’s not Stewart Copeland!! It’s…it’s…..
SCOTTPHISTO: IT’S ME!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
MONA: What??? Then, who is this? *Takes off Stings-
MONA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*(Narrator glares at Mona) –MASK. It, too, is Scottphisto!*
BOTH GIRLS: WHAT THE HELL??
*They look around. Soon, they realize that all the look-alikes are, in fact, wearing masks! They take them off to reveal that they are all SCOTTPHISTO!!!*
ECHO: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS???
STEWART/SCOTTPHISTO: Well, I had myself cloned.
MONA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ECHO: Oh…my…….BONO!!!
STING/SCOTTPHISTO: Well, how ELSE could I get jumped on by each and every member of PLEBA? My plan would’ve worked, too. If it weren’t for you darn kids and that talking dog…
MONA: What? What talking dog?
ECHO: Dude, this ISN’T Scooby Doo!
BONO/SCOTTPHISTO: Oh…heh. Right.
ECHO: Well, I must admit, this was probably your best idea in….oh, three years.
EDGE/SCOTTPHISTO: But, this was my ONLY idea in three years…
ECHO: Exactly. However, have you thought of the consequences?
ALL SCOTTPHISTO CLONES: Consequences?
ECHO: Oh, God…don’t do that…it’s just creepy.
MONA: Yes, the consequences.
ECHO: The amount of insanity you generate is incredible.
MONA: Very few people are able to withstand it.
ECHO: Now imagine that insane energy multiplied.
ADAM/SCOTTPHISTO: Dear God…what’ve I done?
ECHO: There’s only one solution:
MONA: You don’t mean…
ECHO: Yes. THEY MUST ALL BE TAKEN TO THE MANSION AS SLAVES TO DO OUR BIDDING!!!!
MONA: Exactly. Wait….what? *Scancalized*
ECHO: Yes. The PLEBA Mansion is the only structure capable of containing this many Scottphistos. They will be our personal man-sluts, er, man-servants.
LARRY/SCOTTPHISTO: I think we kinda prefer the first one….
CLONES: Yeah, yeah! We wanna be man-sluts!
ECHO: Well, that will be up to the other girls. Alright, Mona! Get the cattle prods!
MONA: I…um….did’t bring ‘em.
ECHO: What? Where are they?
MONA: *blush*
ECHO: *sigh* You didn’t leave them with BONO again, did you?
MONA: *Nods*
ECHO: The whips? The ropes?
MONA: *Nods*
ECHO: *Sigh* Well, at least we have the handcuffs…
MONA: Um….
ECHO: Not those too!
MONA: Actually, YOU left those with Edge.
ECHO: I…*blush* Oh yeah. I should probably un-cuff him someday…
MONA: Let’s just push all the clones out the door.
ECHO: Okay. Just don’t touch them anywhere but the arms, or they’ll smile and not move.
MONA: !!!!!!
ECHO: *To Sting/Scottphisto* Guess your plan of taking advantage of the PLEBA girls with this restaurant has been foiled.
STING/SCOTTPHISTO: What? OH!! Oh, yeah…yeah you DEFINATLY foiled us! *Thinks “This is great! My plan to infiltrate the PLEBA mansion and become everyone’s man-slut has succeeded!!!”*

*As they all leave, piling the clones into 3 vans, the original Scottphisto looks on.*
SCOTTPHISTO: GOD, I love writing these things.


------------------
ScottPhisto
The Man-Slut of PLEBA

Card carrying member of Echo's Boy Cleaning Service.

Devourer of Ewoks

70% water, 30% Chocolatey Goodness!!


"I'm not wearing any underwear! Now gimmie a cookie!!" -Unknown
Is this love? Or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
EAT ME!! I'M A SPEACIALTY BREAD!!

[This message has been edited by Scottphisto (edited 12-17-2001).]
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Old 12-17-2001, 03:55 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scottphisto:
Note to readers: Sorry about the *ahem* "length" of this script. It was very "hard" to write. I "felt around" for the best words, and, after my thinking became "elevated", it was easy.

Hmm...I think Mona should have passed out from over scandalization by now...

Off with the horns, on with the show...

::snerk::

::thunderous appplause:: Love the Sting and Stewart bits. When did they get to be such pals, anyway?

izzy (stick.....bwaahahaha)

------------------
'twas brillig and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe
all mimsy were the borogroves
and the mome raths outgrabe.
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Old 12-17-2001, 04:08 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scottphisto:
Note to readers: Sorry about the *ahem* "length" of this script. It was very "hard" to write. I "felt around" for the best words, and, after my thinking became "elevated", it was easy.

Hmm...I think Mona should have passed out from over scandalization by now...
*is passed out* HEY ScottPhisto is psychic.


LMAO You didn't like MY restuarant name ideas? *sulk*


------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.

[This message has been edited by WildHonee (edited 12-17-2001).]
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Old 12-17-2001, 04:19 PM   #4
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Quote:
ECHO: Well, that will be up to the other girls. Alright, Mona! Get the cattle prods!
MONA: I…um….did’t bring ‘em.
ECHO: What? Where are they?
MONA: *blush*
ECHO: *sigh* You didn’t leave them with BONO again, did you?
MONA: *Nods*
ECHO: The whips? The ropes?
MONA: *Nods*
ECHO: *Sigh* Well, at least we have the handcuffs…
MONA: Um….
ECHO: Not those too!
MONA: Actually, YOU left those with Edge.
ECHO: I…*blush* Oh yeah. I should probably un-cuff him someday…
O

MY

DAD.

LMAO

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-17-2001, 05:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildHonee:
Quote:
Originally posted by Scottphisto:
Note to readers: Sorry about the *ahem* "length" of this script. It was very "hard" to write. I "felt around" for the best words, and, after my thinking became "elevated", it was easy.

Hmm...I think Mona should have passed out from over scandalization by now...
*is passes out* HEY ScottPhisto is psychic.


LMAO You didn't like MY restuarant name ideas? *sulk*



Hey, I LOVED your ideas. However, since I was trying to make it a FAMILY resaraunt, I thought that "The Hot Tamale" wouldn't work.
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Old 12-17-2001, 05:33 PM   #6
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so "The Baster Taster" and "What's Cookin' Good Lookin" aren't family-oriented either?! ggrr

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-17-2001, 06:14 PM   #7
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people just don't give any thought to the possible EFFECTS of technology! where's your sense of social responsibility?!?!
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Old 12-17-2001, 06:53 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by elizabeth:
people just don't give any thought to the possible EFFECTS of technology! where's your sense of social responsibility?!?!
*BLINK*

What the hell?

Oh, you mean the cloning thing? Heh....

Here's an image for you girls...

Hundreds of Bonos, Edges, Adams, and Larrys....runnin' 'round in tight jeans.

In the words of Mona...That'll settle yer hash.


[This message has been edited by Scottphisto (edited 12-17-2001).]
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Old 12-17-2001, 06:57 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scottphisto:
Here's an image for you girls...

Hundreds of Bonos, Edges, Adams, and Larrys....runnin' 'round in tight jeans.

In the words of Mona...That'll settle yer hash.
1. *drooooool* Multiple Bonos.

2. *drooooool* tight jeans

lmao hash


------------------
~*Mona*~ 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.


"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

The Latin Americans have the sexy end[of Catholicism]~BonoBaby~

7:00pm Bono plays Tetris on Powerbook instead of writing lyrics.
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Old 12-17-2001, 08:00 PM   #10
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Laughing my ass off Scotty...
and yet, it's come back.

Very funny! If I mail you $20 can I be in the next one? Puuuuuhleeeeeease!?

You're going to be gone for a WHOLE WEEK!? DAMN.
I was just going to start the ScottPhisto Society too...lots of girls to adore you. But oh well, some other time I guess.
-Bluey
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Old 12-17-2001, 10:00 PM   #11
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LMAO!!!!! That was funny Way to go Scottphisto

------------------
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THE Larry Mullen Jr. Page
http://www.geocities.com/kiti_regia/index.html

Meeting Larry:
*MG shows Larry poster*
*Larry reads poster*
*Larry smiles and says "Thank you that's very nice of you"*
*Larry signs paper, shakes MG's hand*
*MG almost dies then sees tearaway pants and gets bad ideas*
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Old 12-17-2001, 10:11 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by blueeyes:
[b]
You're going to be gone for a WHOLE WEEK!? DAMN. I was just going to start the ScottPhisto Society too...lots of girls to adore you. But oh well, some other time I guess.
-Bluey
*SQUEEEAAAAL!!!*

OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD.....


------------------
ScottPhisto
The Man-Slut of PLEBA

Card carrying member of Echo's Boy Cleaning Service.

Devourer of Ewoks

70% water, 30% Chocolatey Goodness!!


"I'm not wearing any underwear! Now gimmie a cookie!!" -Unknown
Is this love? Or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
EAT ME!! I'M A SPEACIALTY BREAD!!
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Old 12-17-2001, 10:12 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by blueeyes:
I was just going to start the ScottPhisto Society too...lots of girls to adore you.
I DECLARE MYSELF DICTATOR FOR LIFE OF THE SCOTTPHISTO SOCIETY IN ADVANCE!!!



------------------
*Echo the Pimpstress* ... Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!

This is it! I've been waiting two hours for this! It's a revolution! Blood runs! Flags wave! Come on everybody, throw down your tools and throw up a barricade! Run into the Winter Palace and stand on the tables waving bits of paper at each other! "Hello, are you the Czar?" "Yes, I am actually." BLAM BLAM! Ha ha! Tough luck, FASCIST! That's what happens to people who aren't working class!

Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure!

The Official PLEBA Glossary: Delicious AND Nutritious!

Go lí neach neamhshaolta do dhiosca crua. - May an alien being lick your hard disk.
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Old 12-17-2001, 10:32 PM   #14
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Okay...Echo is dictator for life.
Mona can be Secretary of Scandalization
I will be...Hmmm.
What should I be?
-Bluey
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Old 12-17-2001, 10:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by blueeyes:
Okay...Echo is dictator for life.
Mona can be Secretary of Scandalization
I will be...Hmmm.
What should I be?
-Bluey
The Drunk and Slutty Bridesmaid, of course!

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Old 12-18-2001, 01:24 AM   #16
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Oh yeah...how could I have forgotten?
Must be one of my blackouts that I've been having, Lol


Just with Blue eyes.
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Old 12-18-2001, 03:47 AM   #17
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LMAO!!!!!

Scottphisto, the insidious man-slut of PLEBA, finally finds his way into the PLEBA mansion! LOL!

Send one of yourselves my way sometime okay? I'll be in the zen room of the PLEBA mansion!

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Create Light
Create Unity
Create Joy
CREATE PEACE!
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Old 12-19-2001, 12:07 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by hippyactress:
LMAO!!!!!

Scottphisto, the insidious man-slut of PLEBA, finally finds his way into the PLEBA mansion! LOL!

Send one of yourselves my way sometime okay? I'll be in the zen room of the PLEBA mansion!

Well, you know, I've taken the liberty of installing Scottphisto Vending Machines throughout the PLEBA Mansion.
So, if you ever find yourself without a Scottphisto, drop $.65 in the nearest machine, and viola!



------------------
ScottPhisto
The Man-Slut of PLEBA
Only $0.65 each!!!

Card carrying member of Echo's Boy Cleaning Service.

Scottphisto vending machines. Now everywhere inside the famous PLEBA Mansion, fullfilling all your Scottphisto needs!


"I'm not wearing any underwear! Now gimmie a cookie!!" -Unknown
Is this love? Or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?
EAT ME!! I'M A SPEACIALTY BREAD!!
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Old 12-19-2001, 03:40 AM   #19
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Mmmmm...thank you....

I'm gathering change right now!

------------------
One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Create Light
Create Unity
Create Joy
CREATE PEACE!
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Old 12-19-2001, 10:09 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by hippyactress:
Mmmmm...thank you....

I'm gathering change right now!

I live but to serve, m'lady...
*wink*
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