Help

[neutral]

As most of you probably know from my other threads, my father is very ill. I had planned to move back to my hometown to be with him, help with our business, etc etc etc. I wanted to do it soon but by "soon" I meant, say, by December. It's 2 hours away and do have things I'd like to wrap up here.


My Dad called me yesterday and asked me to move out of here by the end of the month. Yesterday being the 27th. He told me to get quotes from moving companies then we would decide how I'd move my stuff, etc. I got a couple of quotes this morning and they were very expensive. I just called him to tell him and he has now decided that he wants to move TONIGHT. He said to just load up what I can in my VW hatchback, and that since he doesn't think all my other things (like my futon, queen bed, kitchen set, etc) are even worth the cost of the movers, we'll just throw those out.


My head is spinning.

 

[starsgoblue]

Neutral

 

[neutral]

^^^ my actual expression right now

 

[starsgoblue]

 

[neutral]

don't mind me, I'm losing it

 

[starsgoblue]

Well I still love ya...

 

[verte76]

Gosh, you must be going nuts.......if someone told me I had to move tonight I'd be freaked out big time.

 

[dandy]

i'm sorry things are so upside-down for you right now, girl.

maybe you can do the gradual move back. go for the weekend tonight with some stuff, and talk to your family about things, make a plan to get you home that everyone is on board with.

in the meantime, take a few deep breaths and try not to pull all of your hair out.

 

[Lemonboy]

Neutral

I know what it means having to move at short notic but one day geez......

 

[youtwohearts]

Neutral

I agree with Dandy. Go home for the weekend and talk to your family. Do things gradually. I know that your family is stressed and they want you around but they also need to realize that your life has to shut down in another area.

I've seen my mother drop everything when my aunt and grandmother were sick and she did eventually lose her mind. You need to take care of your things first to be mentally strong enough to help take care of your family.

 

[Souly]

Hopefully it's not permanent

My thoughts are with your dad

 

[neutral]

Thanks for the support and advice everyone.

I think I will probably end up doing something like Dandy suggested. I'm willing to go home to help out, but I am not moving to another state tonight. I mean really, how would I even pull that one off. And I am not willing to just throw away everything I own.

I called my brother, we're gonna try to figure something out that will make everyone happy.

 

[neutral]

So my mom just called and said I could take a few more days if I need to. And apparently I need to realize that I'm going to have to give a little right now too.


Ok let's see. I am giving up my life, friends, my ex that I had just started talking to again (but will probably never see again now) and most of my possessions to go live in a city I hate, where I have no friends, to work at a place that I'm not really wild about, and where I'm not really wanted, all for them.




I am starting to wonder what, exactly, is going to be enough for me to give.

 

[dandy]

my situation doesn't compare to yours, neutral, but there are a few similarities. i'm back home right now because i couldn't find a decent job after i graduated (from law school, how sad is that?). i had to move back in with the folks after 10 years of blissful freedom, back to a city i hate, where most of my friends have left and gone far far far away from. it sucks, but it had to be done. i've been trying to make the best of it. there's really no upside to it except i get to hang out with my puppy all the time, and i don't have to worry about rent and bills. life ain't always a bowl of cherries, but think how sweet it will be when we get back on our feet again.

look for the silver lining. it's there, somewhere, even if it's not visible right now.

 

[nanavancouver]

So my mom just called and said I could take a few more days if I need to. And apparently I need to realize that I'm going to have to give a little right now too.


Ok let's see. I am giving up my life, friends, my ex that I had just started talking to again (but will probably never see again now) and most of my possessions to go live in a city I hate, where I have no friends, to work at a place that I'm not really wild about, and where I'm not really wanted, all for them.




I am starting to wonder what, exactly, is going to be enough for me to give.

When my father was ill he got like that. He had lost control of what was going on with his body so he needed to control whatever he could. I have never regretted leaving my husband with four young children for several months to help him. You won't either.

 

[kellyahern]

neutral

 

[Sicy]

neutral I cant even imagine just picking up and moving like that. Take your time, you want to be with your dad but you dont want to lose your sanity in the process.

 

[nurse chrissi]

neutral - take your time with this . I see it every day - families give up their lives for a sick loved one (consequentlyI see people getting sick/angry/frustrated becasue of this)- while admirable - I tell people the importance of talking care of themselves too - you will be no good to your family if you are ignoring your own needs. Take your time and visit this weekend if you can to get a feel for the situation - things usually sound worse on the phone than reality. In the meantime just take care of yourself!
lots of prayers being sent your way