I... like a girl who is so much younger than me

[hiphop]

To be more precise, she is seventeen years old. I met her in a club, spent a wild night, we went home by taxi, she is really special - like all the girls I like - well, young but not that innocent... but everything is new anyway...

the confession about this is that apart from not knowing how this will work out, I am unsure if it is right to have a relationship with a girl so young, so "fresh" in a sense, you might want to know my age, well I am as young as Sicy, hope you can relate to that

Questions, Comments, Improvements?

And a question for the (around) 17 y.o. girls amongst you: what would you think if a guy calls you, tells you you should call back, and then after a few days calls you again? I mean, we are already out of this shit, like, I don?t care whether I call a person 20 times without recieving a callback, if that means that I won?t miss any love and laughing; my definition of coolness is another one, more being connected to my spirituality and my vision, which therefore influences my actions...

But how does this sound for a girl your age? Too... thoughtful? Do you like them boys to schmooze if it?s for real? Do you still like roses (also if she didn?t take any, because her mum would see them and ask where she spent the night now isn?t that sweet?)

 

[Bonochick]

Well, I'm 20, and my fiance is 13 years older than me. He is a total romantic, which was what drew me to him to begin with. We met on the Internet originally, and he was such a sweetheart and a gentlemen. He sent me flowers to my school, but my parents got pretty pissed off when they found out. But my dad tracked him down, found out he was supposedly a decent guy, and they laid off. When we did meet in real life, he was even sweeter and more wonderful in person.

To me, I don't think you seem "too thoughtful"...not for my liking, anyway. I recall 3 years ago though knowing many classmates who were not like that. But maybe she doesn't fit the mold for a stereotypical 17 year old.

 

[spinninghead77]

I do not know how old Sicy is, so I can't comment on the age difference. The only thing that I can comment on is the number of phone calls. Of course, like any person, I like to be wooed, and I like to have a man show his interest in me. However, if a guy were to call me twenty times, and I didn't return any of his calls then I would most likely be doing that to brush him off.... and I would hope that he would take the hint.

As for the roses. They are very sweet, but if you know that she won't accept them because of her mother, or any other reason then don't buy them for her. Do something else special for her that you know that she will appreciate, and that will be a token of your affection for her.

Just make sure that you don't get her in trouble with her folks. Eventually they will warm up to you, but not if you two do anything secretivly in the mean time. Maybe this is an occasion where you get to know the girl, and her parents, as friends, and as she mature's you can devlop a relationship.

Just my two cents......

 

[Sicy]

I'm almost 30.

 

[BabyGrace]

well first off, I dunno...if you're 30 that's probably a bit too much of an age gap. I mean what...she's still in high school and you've been a full-fledged adult for a good five years. You two are coming from totally different worlds and it might seem great for one night but I really don't know about it how well that kind of thing will work out for a real relationship. BUT...if you feel that this girl is truly special and both of you think there is a way to make this work, I would not worry about what other 17 year old girls like, worry about what she likes.

 

[Stories for Boys]

well, i guess i'm the resident 17 year old girl here...so...here's my $.02...

i think she must be rather mature...i mean, i'm not childish (i don't think) but i'm not sure i'd be on the same level as someone in their 20s...

as far as any guy goes, i, personally, would like to know that he's for sure interested...not just a one night/summer/short term fling...i think it's nice of you, but be careful...you don't want to scare her

i'd go and meet her parents. if you're serious, and she's serious...talk to them about it...explain your intentions (which i only assume are pure) and that you are interested in taking her out...i mean, personally, i think it's important that this isn't sneaking around behind the backs of parents...could cause more damage than you want...especially if this might be long term. it'd be a pity to be married to someone whose parents still resent you for lying...

just my opinion though. if your intentions are not so pure...do what you think is right...

 

[Sicy]

well first off, I dunno...if you're 30 that's probably a bit too much of an age gap. I mean what...she's still in high school and you've been a full-fledged adult for a good five years. You two are coming from totally different worlds and it might seem great for one night but I really don't know about it how well that kind of thing will work out for a real relationship. BUT...if you feel that this girl is truly special and both of you think there is a way to make this work, I would not worry about what other 17 year old girls like, worry about what she likes.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[daafish]

I'm almost 30.

Me too!

 

[AM]

my hubby is 10 years older than me and when we first met i thought that he was way too old for me. He was working, divorced and I was just entering university. But there was something special about him and in the end we made the age gap disapear and we are very happy now.

I think if she is really special and she?ll see that you are very special you can work it out and make it work

 

[ghetofabu]

Go with your heart.

 

[hiphop]

Thank you all for your brilliant answers. Thank you Bonochick, spinninghead77, Sicy ;-), Baby Grace, Stories for Boys, daafish, AM (your bass ok?).

Hmm, I still don?t know what to do.... don?t worry, I won?t call 20 times for real, it was just a way of say.
And yeah, she is still in high school, and I am a full fledged adult. Well, it was a confession because I neither know about my intentions. I mean, at the moment I am very very free... I meet lots of attractive girls... and I am at least true enough to be separated from my old love. It would never be my intention to do a one night stand, I am interested in a very... intense relationship. Also don?t know about her intentions, or if she has any. A little confused, I may admit.

Anyway, if she is truly special, we will fall in love. I didn?t have that much time to find out, you know... I know she is special, but I don?t know in which direction. That?s one of the probs of us adults that we always have to define and to plan everything. I?ll just let it develop by itself and play around (meant in a responsible way), then lets see.

 

[hiphop]

Thank you too, ghetofabu. I dig ur style...

 

[ghetofabu]

Thank you and you're welcome.

 

[Zoomerang96]

hiphop: dont think your alone on this, lots of people deal with it.

for instance, bonochick already layed out her situation...my grandpa is 8 years older than my grandma...i mean these things happen.

then theres michael douglas and zeta jones...

whatever, anyway....

im having immense difficulty with a thought of mine, that has lingered for about 3 years that has now surfaced front and center. i dont want to like her, but well, i do. she'll just have to eat it, cause i cant help the way i feel. and it sucks.

shes 16.

haaaaaaaa.

worst feeling ever.

*waits to go to prison

arent prisoners who are there for this reason, get the worst treatment of all?

maaan...

im not trying to hijack a thread for once, but since were on this topic anyway....opinions would be nice too.

*not a cradle robber...yet :S

 

[ghetofabu]

age zoom?

 

[JessicaAnn]

*waits to go to prison

arent prisoners who are there for this reason, get the worst treatment of all?

They rank pretty low ...

Even prisoners have standards.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i turned 20 this year, gheto.

diagnosis please.

baad babysittin!

oh wait -

 

[JessicaAnn]

i turned 20 this year, gheto.

diagnosis please.

baad babysittin!

oh wait -

16 and 20 ... only four years, but I think that's still illegal in most states.

The difference between being in high school and not being in high school can be a huge problem for a relationship (being in different places in life).

 

[zooropamanda]

only if they do soemthing its illegal!

please tell me you are allowed to date people under the consenting age over there?

bear, if you get along well and the age gap isnt a problem, i don't see it as that big a concern. unless her parents would have a problem with you dating her. there are lots of 16 yr olds who would date older boys. you're still a kid yourself matey. 3 and a bit years isnt much at all. it certainly wont make a difference in 1 or 2 years time if youre willing to wait.
its also about whether you can handle hanging out with her 16 yr old girly friends! lol

hiphop...yeah i think u really do need to think about what life with her would be like. think about what 17 yr olds do, she wouldnt be able to go to places youa re used to going to, wouldnt be allowed in clubs, bars or to drink. u really need to think about what life would be like.
just my opinion.

 

[Bonochick]

hiphop...yeah i think u really do need to think about what life with her would be like. think about what 17 yr olds do, she wouldnt be able to go to places youa re used to going to, wouldnt be allowed in clubs, bars or to drink. u really need to think about what life would be like.
just my opinion.

That's a good point, manda. John and I don't live nearby, so we don't ever get to go out or anything. However, he's not into that type of stuff anyway. When I took him back home to meet my friends, well...let's just say I can sometimes act pretty immature around my friends (I still like to goof around with them like we did in high school...I mean, we've only been out for 2 years! *lol*), but he was patient with me and just let me have my fun and be goofy. Not all guys have the patience that he does though.

Yes...I know...I am damn lucky!

 

[ghetofabu]

You are ok bear. That is no big deal. I do not see you as a "peta"

 

[Zoomerang96]

thanks to all whove given me their opinion.

i was puzzled by how someone could go to jail for simply dating someone thats 16. i only turned 20...surely i wouldnt go to jail for that?!

ah well, i saw her again a few times today...

i also saw that terrible dentist office... i feel like giving her the finger everytime i see her. im glad i dropped having anything for her as soon as i did.

so dentist office is completely out and priority number 1 is in. this is the way i wanted it in the first place...i think shes onto me though. me and my friends go and bug her at work and my best friend does funny shit, but i completely freeze. me. freeze. its terrible. theyre so intimidating....but judging by the way she looks at me... i sense SHE senses something...

i think im going to run far away now.

or next august, whatever.

thanks again everyone.

 

[Screaming Flower]

do it. NOW.

bear you really need to ask out priority number one. you're just going to drive yourself crazy. and that is a scary thought.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i cant ask out priority number 1

i just cant.

not yet anyway.

and i think if we ever were to hit it off, id have to talk to her parents first. maybe thats just lame.

well, i am lame.

im also not very good at things.

but i am a dynamo in the sack, right laaadiiiieeeessss?!?!?! a?!?!? a?!?!?!

ya.

*shrugs, puts both hands in his pockets and keeps his head down as he walks to losersuckville.

 

[Bonochick]

Re: i cant ask out priority number 1

*shrugs, puts both hands in his pockets and keeps his head down as he walks to losersuckville.

When you see z edge, tell him I said hi!!!!

 

[AliEnvy]

Many people with big age gaps live happily ever after despite huge obstacles - you gotta admire that...

Good luck to whenhiphopdrovethebigcars and bear and your young ladies. Gheto got it exactly right when she said follow your heart.

Btw, what about older women and younger men? Doesn't seem to happen as often and so many people seem to snicker and not take it seriously when it happens.

Why is that?

 

[BabyGrace]

bear, four years isn't nearly as hard. it's more difficult around this age because there's such a difference between lifestyles of the different ages, but it can work and once you're both in your twenties, I don't think that's at all a problem. all the guys I like are older than me..usually 2-6 years; I've only once liked a guy my age

you should ask her. or if you're not ready too yet, at least stop being so mean to yourself.

 

[Stories for Boys]

you seem to be ok

and i think if we ever were to hit it off, id have to talk to her parents first. maybe thats just lame.

well, i am lame.

that's not lame and you aren't either.......i mean, i think that's the noble thing to do, and if you're serious, then that's the way to go.......i mean, it would really suck if her parents resented you......

*hugs* you guys, it'll work out ok..... *hugs*

 

[Fawn]

My twinsister?s fianc?e is eleven years older than us and they?re the best couple there is; so much in Love, so sweet to each other...
I don?t know, but I don?t think age has got very much to do with love. Hope evrything works out for you!

/E

 

[foray]

whenhiphopdrovetehbigcars, it is very simple.

Sometimes age is just a number, sometimes it's not. 2 cases in point,

my mother is 10 years younger than my father, yet she is much more mature than him; and

when I was a teen, most of my kindred spirits were 30somethings.


foray