Ask me anything at all, guys, except how I sleep at night (fine, thanks)

[Kieran McConville]

Ask me a question that I can dodge or throw back in your face or completely twist altogether.

 

[cobl04]

What did you do with melon

 

[Kieran McConville]

I ate him, Cobl4.

I ATE HIM







No, I didn't.

 

[bono_212]

Have you seen deathbear?

 

[Kieran McConville]

Deathbear doesn't exist. We made him up in 2001 to scare little kids. And then - and this is the really bad bit - we did it again the next year.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Back in 2001, i was in third grade and i used to post here a lot. i mean a LOT. I wrote a play about how Bono was going to save the world. The entire world. He was going to heal the world and teach us how to sing a joyful noise. Do you remember that?

Thing is, Deathbear came in and started the junk war and it hasn't been the same since. Now i sit in my hottub on the patio smoking cigars and drinking cheap wine. Life has been ruined thanks to deathbear.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Also, my face is melting.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Back in 2001, i was in third grade and i used to post here a lot. i mean a LOT. I wrote a play about how Bono was going to save the world. The entire world. He was going to heal the world and teach us how to sing a joyful noise. Do you remember that?

Thing is, Deathbear came in and started the junk war and it hasn't been the same since. Now i sit in my hottub on the patio smoking cigars and drinking cheap wine. Life has been ruined thanks to deathbear.

Bono did heal the world, you just weren't paying attention during those crucial months of October-December 2001. Then it all went to hell again.

Deathbar (sic) got me hooked on crack, so thanks Deathbear.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

third graders don't have a very healthy attention span....

but they say hell is for children so it all kind of makes sense. Especially with my face melting, and all.

 

[PhilsFan]

have you seen the wire

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

why does "I" come before "E" except after "C"?

 

[Kieran McConville]

Because God decreed it.

 

[Kieran McConville]

have you seen the wire

Yes.













Most.

 

[cobl04]

Because God decried it.

hmmm

 

[Kieran McConville]

NO!


NO!!!

I'm like Michael Scott when Toby came back to work there.

 

[gvox]

Who's alter are you?

:impatient:


Sent from my ass crack

 

[Kieran McConville]

What an intriguing question, since I've been here for twelve years, no, wait, thirteen years.

To turn it around another way, who are my alters?

Zedbetty
Antilarry
Interactive Pooh
Bad Ronnie

 

[gvox]

I know youve been around forever..I actually remember your debut. And I recall thinking then that you were someone's funny alter. So it's always been a thought of mine. If I was wrong, I apologize profusely and beg your mercy


Sent from my ass crack

 

[Kieran McConville]

You wanna know the really sick part?


It's actually my name.

Now how fucked up is that. Not giving up the (modest) post count at this point though.

 

[gvox]

I feel so bad..my next question was "are you really a con" thinking that your name was a way of saying "this is a ruse, don't take me seriously"..guess I totally got that wrong!

You'd best not be messin with me here bro lol


Sent from my ass crack

 

[Kieran McConville]

It's my name. Remember Michael Griffiths? Pretty sure he was was really he, too. Eamon O'Leary, less so.

 

[djerdap]

Time to call your church.

 

[gvox]

It's my name. Remember Michael Griffiths? Pretty sure he was was really he, too. Eamon O'Leary, less so.

Ha! Wild. Well nice to meet someone who actually used their real name


Sent from my ass crack

 

[Kieran McConville]

The good thing about a real name is that it looks like a mask regardless.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Ive sent so many drones to find you but you keep moving from house to different house on a daily basis. Im going to get you soon enough McConville!

Also, my real name is Blue Balls. Or at least it was before they fell off.

Oh, my question is, what have you done with Alan Jamison? We haven't heard from him in months. My drone activity suspects he was a prisoner in one of your safe houses, bound and gagged, perhaps tortured.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Ive sent so many drones to find you but you keep moving from house to different house on a daily basis. Im going to get you soon enough McConville!

Also, my real name is Blue Balls. Or at least it was before they fell off.

Oh, my question is, what have you done with Alan Jamison? We haven't heard from him in months. My drone activity suspects he was a prisoner in one of your safe houses, bound and gagged, perhaps tortured.

People ask me the secret of my success and how I've made it so well in life. And it's true, the answer is 'moving incessantly from safe house to safe house on a daily basis like some kind of scuttling cockroach'.

I think Alan Jamison went to stay with his cousin Tex Jamison in Lubbock, Texas, and apparently during a particularly wild night Tex chopped him up with his axe. All I know is, I ain't seen nothing.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Oh. Funny you mention that. I sent an entire squad of Gooners to Lubbock this very day to take on the Tards of Tech at Lubbock. My Gooner squat beat those Tards of Tech 42-30. I suspect that Tex Jamison was in attendance.

I also suspect that you wouldn't recognize me since i have a new fleet of exotic, something(s).

I have been drinking some very good stuff for the better half of the last few minutes. Or maybe i haven't been. But i feel just, capital, as in, im the best thing for miles. Im that city on the hill.

The cat scratched my nose earlier and i couldn't give a nut. Only a cat can scratch the nose of the hand that feeds and not give a flying damn.

Life is too good to not be great. Lydia.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

My face is still melting, but i have a story that will surely bring on the end of the world (as we know it). I'm thinking of a redundant question here.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Oh. Funny you mention that. I sent an entire squad of Gooners to Lubbock this very day to take on the Tards of Tech at Lubbock. My Gooner squat beat those Tards of Tech 42-30. I suspect that Tex Jamison was in attendance.

I also suspect that you wouldn't recognize me since i have a new fleet of exotic, something(s).

I have been drinking some very good stuff for the better half of the last few minutes. Or maybe i haven't been. But i feel just, capital, as in, im the best thing for miles. Im that city on the hill.

The cat scratched my nose earlier and i couldn't give a nut. Only a cat can scratch the nose of the hand that feeds and not give a flying damn.

Life is too good to not be great. Lydia.

I'm on a good mixture, I don't want to waste you it.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

It's snowing outside so i may take a day off from going out to get some fresh kills.

Like we used to say, if you're not wasted, the day is.