LikeNoOneBefore
Refugee
(This might take a bit to explain.)
So my close friend who is two years younger than me is going through a bit of sexual confusion. About a month ago, he just came right out and declared himself completely gay. All of our friends were pretty okay with it (save one, but he's alright now I think) and life went on. But then, he got a girlfriend. We all were REALLY confused. They "dated" for a few weeks, but were rarely around each other in school, were always mad at each other, were never affectionate, hardly spoke, and he acted like he was dating ME more than her. So, they broke up. No surprise. My friend continued saying that he's gay.
Rewind a bit. The day my friend started dating that girl, I got pretty upset. I didn't think it was that perceptible, but I received an IM from him later of "Why do you get so mad everytime I talk about Allison?" So basically, I told him that until he told everyone he was gay, I liked him and that seeing him with a girl was really confusing me and kind of hurting me. He gave me an "Umm oh God" but things were okay after that. He acted even friendlier around me.
Fast forward a short bit. Out of my stupidity, I made a long blog post about a guy I really liked. He caught on that it was him, left me a comment saying, "Assumed no one uses Xanga, eh?" and didn't mention it again. After that, he was even more affectionate around me. He said "I love you" a lot, kissed me on the cheek all the time, and hung out with me every chance we could get. This is all still going on right now. Keep in mind that he says he's gay. I have a lot of gay friends and none of them treat me like that.
So let me sum up some other things he does...
-Grabs my hand when we're together, holds it for a few minutes and then lets go.
-Played with my hair, held my hand, touched my arm and shoulder etc. while watching a movie at my house
-Has an inside joke with me that we have a kid
-Tells me he loves me a lot
-Calls me every day to talk for about two hours
-Kisses me on the cheek still
-When we hang out, it's only the two of us
-He took me on a pseudo-date once
-He insists on paying for things when we go places
-Our parents think we're dating
-Our friends think we're dating
-He got me a really nice necklace for Christmas
-He talks about me a whole lot on random blogs and such
-We're going to prom together.
...I'm probably forgetting some.
HOWEVER, there's this girl he likes. Although, she is obsessed with another guy we know and often drags my guy friend that we're talking about with her to visit the guy she likes at where he works. She bought my guy friend cologne for Christmas, saying, "Oh it's what Mike wears!" which is the name of the guy she likes. She always switches the topic to this guy if my guy friend is asking her for help on a problem. She never stops talking about him. My guy friend hates it and complains to me about it. This girl has done nothing for him. I've been there for my guy friend through a lot of things, but he still likes this girl. Once again, how does this make him gay?
I talked with my friends who ARE completely gay, and they have no idea what's going on with my guy friend. They're just as confused, if not more, as I am.
Here are some possible things to keep in mind:
-He was cheated on for nine months by a girl once.
-He and I have fought twice in which we didn't talk to each other for a day or two but ended up being better friends afterwards.
-He talks about guys around me.
-He acts like he's forcing himself to be gay by asking me stuff like "Do I have a gay voice?" or randomly saying "Gosh, I'm SO gay."
-He's had a lot of relationships in the past. I don't think he's ever dated a guy. If he did, it was once and a really short relationship.
-He's a compulsive liar. (Don't know how that's helpful but who knows?)
-He knows I like him.
So my final questions are these:
Is this just complete sexual confusion?
Is he completely leading me on or does he actually like me?
Should I say something to him?
What's going on, in general?
If you read that whole thing, you're my hero.
I figured that since I already asked a bunch of my friends and they have no idea, I should go here.
So my close friend who is two years younger than me is going through a bit of sexual confusion. About a month ago, he just came right out and declared himself completely gay. All of our friends were pretty okay with it (save one, but he's alright now I think) and life went on. But then, he got a girlfriend. We all were REALLY confused. They "dated" for a few weeks, but were rarely around each other in school, were always mad at each other, were never affectionate, hardly spoke, and he acted like he was dating ME more than her. So, they broke up. No surprise. My friend continued saying that he's gay.
Rewind a bit. The day my friend started dating that girl, I got pretty upset. I didn't think it was that perceptible, but I received an IM from him later of "Why do you get so mad everytime I talk about Allison?" So basically, I told him that until he told everyone he was gay, I liked him and that seeing him with a girl was really confusing me and kind of hurting me. He gave me an "Umm oh God" but things were okay after that. He acted even friendlier around me.
Fast forward a short bit. Out of my stupidity, I made a long blog post about a guy I really liked. He caught on that it was him, left me a comment saying, "Assumed no one uses Xanga, eh?" and didn't mention it again. After that, he was even more affectionate around me. He said "I love you" a lot, kissed me on the cheek all the time, and hung out with me every chance we could get. This is all still going on right now. Keep in mind that he says he's gay. I have a lot of gay friends and none of them treat me like that.
So let me sum up some other things he does...
-Grabs my hand when we're together, holds it for a few minutes and then lets go.
-Played with my hair, held my hand, touched my arm and shoulder etc. while watching a movie at my house
-Has an inside joke with me that we have a kid
-Tells me he loves me a lot
-Calls me every day to talk for about two hours
-Kisses me on the cheek still
-When we hang out, it's only the two of us
-He took me on a pseudo-date once
-He insists on paying for things when we go places
-Our parents think we're dating
-Our friends think we're dating
-He got me a really nice necklace for Christmas
-He talks about me a whole lot on random blogs and such
-We're going to prom together.
...I'm probably forgetting some.
HOWEVER, there's this girl he likes. Although, she is obsessed with another guy we know and often drags my guy friend that we're talking about with her to visit the guy she likes at where he works. She bought my guy friend cologne for Christmas, saying, "Oh it's what Mike wears!" which is the name of the guy she likes. She always switches the topic to this guy if my guy friend is asking her for help on a problem. She never stops talking about him. My guy friend hates it and complains to me about it. This girl has done nothing for him. I've been there for my guy friend through a lot of things, but he still likes this girl. Once again, how does this make him gay?
I talked with my friends who ARE completely gay, and they have no idea what's going on with my guy friend. They're just as confused, if not more, as I am.
Here are some possible things to keep in mind:
-He was cheated on for nine months by a girl once.
-He and I have fought twice in which we didn't talk to each other for a day or two but ended up being better friends afterwards.
-He talks about guys around me.
-He acts like he's forcing himself to be gay by asking me stuff like "Do I have a gay voice?" or randomly saying "Gosh, I'm SO gay."
-He's had a lot of relationships in the past. I don't think he's ever dated a guy. If he did, it was once and a really short relationship.
-He's a compulsive liar. (Don't know how that's helpful but who knows?)
-He knows I like him.
So my final questions are these:
Is this just complete sexual confusion?
Is he completely leading me on or does he actually like me?
Should I say something to him?
What's going on, in general?
If you read that whole thing, you're my hero.
I figured that since I already asked a bunch of my friends and they have no idea, I should go here.