THE STORY OF THE LOST CD A.K.A. WHY THE EDGE CARES SO MUCH THAT A BURNT DISC OF UNFINISHED U2 SONGS IS LOST A.K.A. A STORY THAT I WROTE TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE STOLEN CD THING:
It's 7 AM and U2 is driving down to Nice for a photo shoot for their new album.
Adam - The Edge, how do you make such incredible sounds from your guitar if all you ever listen to is that blasted Jessica Simpson record?
The Edge - singing along "...i can say anything craaazy..."
Lary - Whatever man. I think I am going to take of my shirt. Is anyone else hot out here?
Adam - No, it's like 60 degrees, in the car. And the air conditioning is way up...
Lary - Oh...Oh well.
Bono - (to himself) maybe if I dress up like George Bush and dance around, I can be on Time magazine again...hmmm..
Adam - Hey, I think Henry Rollins left his ol' cowboy hat in here...
Bono - I CALL IT! MINE MINE MINE!
Lary- Whatever man. Whatever. Oh good! We're here! I was getting kind of hot. I think I am going to take my pa-
Adam slams door shut.
The Edge - (Grabs Jessica Simpson CD) I am taking this with me...
Everyone gets out of the car except Bono
Bono - (puts on cowboy hat and looks at himself in the mirror, starts singing) "helllo helllo, I am a guy called Bono-o.." ooh! that sounds good. I'll have to bring those lyrics up at the next band meeting!
At the photo shoot. Everything goes well.
Adam - man, that was a good photo shoot!
Lary - yeah...yeah...I miss my mermaid.
The Edge looks on the ground, where he stratigically placed his Jessica Simpson record and can not find it.
The Edge - Oh no! I lost my CD! I need to call Angelina Jolie! (dials Angelina Jolie's number on his tiny cell phone)...Angela! Hi! Look, if you help me find my CD, you can have your 'key' back. What? No, this isn't the Vertigo video! What? Hello? No! She hang up on me!
Lary - Maybe you should ask that police guy over there!
The Edge - Oooh! Good thinking. Hey police man! I lost my CD!
Police Man - You mean U2's new record? If so, I'm right on the case!
The Edge - ummm...yeah...that's it...and...uh...it's hidden in a Jessica Simpson case so nobody would recognize it, so, you know, those kids over at Interference.com wouldn't steal it and put it online. Yeah.
Police Man - Okay, I'm right on it! (into walky-talky) looks like we got a missing U2 CD...in a Jessica Simpson CD case...yes she is sisters with Ashlee. Good, I'm on it.
Adam - gee man, I hope they can find that CD. I mean it would be so terrible for us not to hear Jessica Simpson ever again...wink wink.
Lary - yeah, we better get going back home.
Bono - (singing to himself) "hello hello, my names is Bono-o..."
The Edge - yeah okay.
Adam - (once everyone is in the car) Mwa ha ha! Now we never have to hear that blasted Jessica Simpson CD ever again! Mwa ha ha! MWA HA HA!
THE END
Enjoy!
It's 7 AM and U2 is driving down to Nice for a photo shoot for their new album.
Adam - The Edge, how do you make such incredible sounds from your guitar if all you ever listen to is that blasted Jessica Simpson record?
The Edge - singing along "...i can say anything craaazy..."
Lary - Whatever man. I think I am going to take of my shirt. Is anyone else hot out here?
Adam - No, it's like 60 degrees, in the car. And the air conditioning is way up...
Lary - Oh...Oh well.
Bono - (to himself) maybe if I dress up like George Bush and dance around, I can be on Time magazine again...hmmm..
Adam - Hey, I think Henry Rollins left his ol' cowboy hat in here...
Bono - I CALL IT! MINE MINE MINE!
Lary- Whatever man. Whatever. Oh good! We're here! I was getting kind of hot. I think I am going to take my pa-
Adam slams door shut.
The Edge - (Grabs Jessica Simpson CD) I am taking this with me...
Everyone gets out of the car except Bono
Bono - (puts on cowboy hat and looks at himself in the mirror, starts singing) "helllo helllo, I am a guy called Bono-o.." ooh! that sounds good. I'll have to bring those lyrics up at the next band meeting!
At the photo shoot. Everything goes well.
Adam - man, that was a good photo shoot!
Lary - yeah...yeah...I miss my mermaid.
The Edge looks on the ground, where he stratigically placed his Jessica Simpson record and can not find it.
The Edge - Oh no! I lost my CD! I need to call Angelina Jolie! (dials Angelina Jolie's number on his tiny cell phone)...Angela! Hi! Look, if you help me find my CD, you can have your 'key' back. What? No, this isn't the Vertigo video! What? Hello? No! She hang up on me!
Lary - Maybe you should ask that police guy over there!
The Edge - Oooh! Good thinking. Hey police man! I lost my CD!
Police Man - You mean U2's new record? If so, I'm right on the case!
The Edge - ummm...yeah...that's it...and...uh...it's hidden in a Jessica Simpson case so nobody would recognize it, so, you know, those kids over at Interference.com wouldn't steal it and put it online. Yeah.
Police Man - Okay, I'm right on it! (into walky-talky) looks like we got a missing U2 CD...in a Jessica Simpson CD case...yes she is sisters with Ashlee. Good, I'm on it.
Adam - gee man, I hope they can find that CD. I mean it would be so terrible for us not to hear Jessica Simpson ever again...wink wink.
Lary - yeah, we better get going back home.
Bono - (singing to himself) "hello hello, my names is Bono-o..."
The Edge - yeah okay.
Adam - (once everyone is in the car) Mwa ha ha! Now we never have to hear that blasted Jessica Simpson CD ever again! Mwa ha ha! MWA HA HA!
THE END
Enjoy!