somewhere

[BabyGrace]

somewhere, I can't find the strength to get up again
when nothing's like it seems
you know there's a thousand ways I'd like to tell you
what I need to be ok
but when I reach for them, they slip away,
dematerialize like the waves pulling
back into the belly of an ocean

so I am alone again, with my own mind
don't leave me here because every word I write
is another stone in the tomb to seal my fate

in the small hours
don't crack my frail hope
as it shivers towards the dawn of another day
just cradle the blood around your middle
and hold it there, deeper until you die
like a numb army soldier
marching down the needles of my spine
lifting my head to look at you
you see straight through my good intentions
to the animal that breathes in my frightened soul

there is no thin disguise
for the murder I hiss on every breath
it can't be like this
reminded of a vision that is drifting away
as the loneliness seeps into the vacuum of my bones
to take its forgotten place among
the dying stars of a nighttime sky

I'm sorry, I'd lost the truth somewhere.

 

[ACROB@T]

don't crack my frail hope
as it shivers towards the dawn of another day
just cradle the blood around your middle
and hold it there, deeper until you die

marching down the needles of my spine
lifting my head to look at you
you see straight through my good intentions
to the animal that breathes in my frightened soul

very detailed and vivid writing..concluding line grabs your attention

 

[The Wanderer]

i felt very raw reading this, it tears at the reader like the thing itself that is tearing at the subject of the poem, which, if I'm not mistaken, is the mind

 

[BabyGrace]

thank you both for responding
Wanderall you are right, it just came from one of those moments, the worst part is when you know its true and you cant find a way to stop it despite that

 

[scatteroflight]

so I am alone again, with my own mind
don't leave me here because every word I write
is another stone in the tomb to seal my fate

Oh, wow. Being a writer is sometimes more pain than catharsis, isn't it? As usual you manage to bring light to something very meaningful.

 

[Alisaura]

One thing I hate about a 9 to 5 job and being asleep by 11pm is that that part of my brain doesn't get a go, and although I feel those things, I can't express them as frequently as I'd like to or as eloquently as that.

That was good, I felt that one.

 

[zooropamanda]

Nikki, I feel you are really growing as a writer. Your poems were always fabulous but they are starting to seem more adult now.
This may be a turning point in your style, babe!
Congrats, that was a wonderful piece of writing.