Shuttlecock! Part VII - Harry Muffin and the Shuttler's Cock

[martha]

damn lt martha

hwo does one get around clf???

 

[impy13]

I took a STAB at Cocktober

Keep at it. You might find yourself getting a promotion.

Bet you never thought you could make a career at it, huh?

 

[lazarus]

Cockropa

4. Cockawwwnnnnn

How about Lobbin' or Nylon?

Also, Babycock and Numbcock right next to each other is a bit weak. Cocknumb instead?

 

[impy13]

Excuse me for being a worse writer than post-1997 Boner.

 

[LemonMelon]

Not to toot my own horn, but I thought this was going to go over better.

I was quite proud of Cock 180 (Theme From Lance's Mom) and no one mentioned that either. This is a harsh business, naming cocks.

These need some work. I'd suggest Some Plays Are Better Than Others, it's closer to the original. Also, we can't improve #4 and #10? The Wandering Cock?

The Wandering Server? The Wandering Ball Boy? The Cockerer is weak.

I'd go with Last Night on Turf, for obvious reasons. And I'm reticent to use simply "Cock" for anything. How about "Grown"?

Last night on Turf is great. I have a weakness for rhymes. Grown could work.

Same thing here. Why not just "Erection"?

Too blunt, and has nothing to do with shuttlecocks or badminton in general.

 

[lazarus]

Cocktober is hard, but:

1. Glory Hole (Into, Cock I Place)
2. Net Fall Down
3. I Served My Cock Through A Window
4. Return
5. Flyer
6. Tomorrow's Match
7. Cocktober
8. With A Serve
9. Stranger on a Strange Cock
10. Scarred Cock
11 Is That All (Of Your Cock)?

 

[lazarus]

I was quite proud of Cock 180 (Theme From Lance's Mom) and no one mentioned that either. This is a harsh business, naming cocks.

I didn't get the full meaning of that one before. Good work.

Too blunt, and has nothing to do with shuttlecocks or badminton in general.

Re: Erection. How about Elimination (Tournament)?

 

[LemonMelon]

11 Is That All (Of Your Cock)?

See, my version of this was far more convoluted. Is That All? (Boner's Requiem).

 

[u2popmofo]

Because of this thread and hype for No Net, I have been listening to FAR MORE Shuttlecock than I've heard since the last tour. They're actually in my Last FM top 10 now, which they've actually never been in... I'm glad to not feel "embarrassed" to be listening to them any more (which Bomb admittedly did a little). Hopefully the new album doesn't change that.

 

[lazarus]

Cock-O-War

Sunday Bloody Match-Play
Seconds?!
New Cock's Day
Like A Serve
Downcourt Man
The Referee
Two Cocks Beat On One
Red Card
Serve Under
40cm

 

[LMP]

I fixed it again to replace New York, London with Orlando, Florida.

For you.

And I think it should be titled "Seconds?!"

Wouldn't Orlando, Tampa make a bit more sense?

Still, this is an honorable man.

I was just wondering if you'd seen the movie and then been disappointed because Twicock the song wasn't in Twicock the movie.

Thankfully, I have not.

"Flightless Bird, American Mouth" was in it though, so I heard.

I am not looking forward to my next Iron & Wine show.


And to save you from trying, no I didn't see TWYLYTE!!!!

But you're young enough to see it without your mommy or daddy paying for you.

And Scumbo, lovin' the addition of the cartoon voice to the sig.

 

[LemonMelon]

Sunday Bloody Match-Play

Service Bloody Service?

 

[lazarus]

No Net on the Horizon
Magnificock
Moment of Service
Unknown Racket
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Cock Crazy Tonight
Get On Your Cocks
Stand Up Referee
Cock--Being Engorged
White As Talcum
Birdie
Courts of Lebanon

 

[lazarus]

Service Bloody Service?

I felt I was using the word "serve" too much.

Sunday Cocky Sunday is possible too, but not very creative.

 

[u2popmofo]

And Scumbo, lovin' the addition of the cartoon voice to the sig.

My description of him changes daily, don't get too attached.

I love the BBC Sessions tracks on the Cocktober Deluxe Edition.

 

[phillyfan26]

The Referee is fantastic.

 

[lazarus]

Also, I can't believe I didn't think of this before.

Track 4 on Cockropa should be...





LANCEMOM

 

[LMP]

My description of him changes daily, don't get too attached.

I love the BBC Sessions tracks on the Cocktober Deluxe Edition.

Aw.

And yes, they are.

 

[u2popmofo]

LANCEMOM

She's gonna make you cry, she's gonna make you whisper and moan.

 

[LemonMelon]

Revised Cockropa:

1. Cockropa
2. Fisher Price Baby Racquet
3. Numb Cock
4. Lancemom
5. Serve (Faraway, So Close!)
6. Daddy's Gonna Pay for Your Crushed Cock
7. Some Plays Are Better Than Others
8. The First Set
9. Dirty Play
10. The Wandering Ball Boy

 

[lazarus]

We need someone with photoshop skillz to start working on the other album covers, too.

I'm thinking of a shuttlecock sticking out of the mouth of the kid on Ball Boy, and then maybe a racquet in front of the kid's face (you'll see him through the strings) on Cock-O-War.

 

[lazarus]

She's gonna make you cry, she's gonna make you whisper and moan.

I am SO writing these lyrics right now.

 

[lazarus]

2. Fisher Price Baby Racquet

What about "Bob-in-place", like when you're waiting for a serve?

 

[LemonMelon]

We need someone with photoshop skillz to start working on the other album covers, too.

I'm thinking of a shuttlecock sticking out of the mouth of the kid on Ball Boy, and then maybe a racquet in front of the kid's face (you'll see him through the strings) on Cock-O-War.

I'm working on something for Cocktober.

 

[LemonMelon]

What about "Bob-in-place", like when you're waiting for a serve?

That's a stretch, but it's still the best we have at this point.

Babycock creeped me out.

 

[u2popmofo]

Babycock creeped me out.

 

[BoMac]

Hey, have you guys come up with a name for Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me?

I was thinking something like, Hold Me, Lob Me, Serve Me, Cock Me. Or something like that.

 

[lazarus]

LANCEMOM

Lancemom
See blew in broad daylight
She is Lancemom
But not if you don't pay right
She's gonna make you cry
she's gonna make you wish you stayed home
and when she's dry
she draws her lube from the stone

and I feel
like I'm slowly, slowly, slowly slipping inside
and I feel
like a hotdog in a hallway

she is Lancemom
to color in an old pimp's night
she had Lance
and he sure didn't come out right

a man makes a picture
a dirty picture
through the light projected
he can see her take off clothes
a man captures coitus
a man likes to stare
he gives his money for one night to poke in her

and I feel
like I'm drifting, drifting, drifting from the whore
and I feel
like I'm spilling out on her

Midnight is when her work begins (x2)

Lancemom
She blew in broad daylight

A man builds a brothel
with bedrooms and showers
A man smells the dough that he can
make on the inside (you can put it there)
A man wears a condom (she got an infection)
and then puts another on (you gotta double-bag)
A man dreams of reaming (use imagination)
And she offers her behind

And these are the days
when her hole has torn assunder
and these are the days
when she looks for someone younger

Midnight is when her work begins (x4)

a man makes a picture
a dirty picture
through the light projected
he can see her take off clothes (you're gonna eat in there?!)
a man captures coitus (she's your last option)
a man likes to stare (there's no sleeping here)
he gives his money for one night to poke in her (she's in copulation)

She's through the wringer
She's infested lesions
through the light projected
he can see her with two bros

 

[LemonMelon]

OK, here's my attempt at the Cocktober cover:

 

[lazarus]

OK, here's my attempt at the Cocktober cover:

Can we cut them out and put them on a badminton court or something?