(949):
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Favorite
(630):
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
(505):
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
419):
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
(610):
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
(732):
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
(1-732):
wasnt he a virgin
(732):
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
(781):
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
(512):
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
(916):
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
(503):
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
(330): View more from Ohio
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
(225):
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
(780):
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
(402):
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.