susannag75
The Fly
Here's a new one which jumped in my mind when I heard some gossips going around in the US and I had read an interview from Bono. I hope it's going to be intersting...
DISCLAIMER: Some facts may be real but the story is all fiction, coming from my (ill) mind... no money making from this.
PG for themes.
Chapter 1 - Reality Check
Autumn. Leaves falling. Will everything fall with them?
I look at you. You’re beautiful, as usual. It’s me who changed. You’re just too taken in what you’re doing to think about why I stand still in front of this window. You work hard in the kitchen since yesterday morning. You wanted this to be a perfect day. I’m not of much use now.
You should not count that much on me anymore.
I feel tired. I feel like I cannot take it. Still, I try it. Because I still feel that all my life is here, and in this moment, among these walls there’s everything I live for. You, my wife. And my children, my friends, my music. Perfect framework for this perfect day.
In a few minutes you will call for lunch. My boys will fly from upstairs with my friends’ little ones and you will be shouting at them to slow down in fear they might fall… and they will be fighting and screaming as usual.
My girls… my beautiful girls, they will probably be late for a phone call or excusing themselves out for some shopping or anything else… they’ve grown up, man…
This is what I wanted all of my life to be like…
I’m scared. I did not realize it until right now. I know I should tell you everything. But I just cannot. I’m scared of things to change. I’ve tried to. I’ve even given hints, unwillingly. You did not understand, that’s my luck. I am paying attention at not to do it anymore, because I want it to be like it is between us. Unspoken.
I want to see my children grow up, I want to walk my daughters down the aisle on their marriage.
Being on tour is hard with this on my mind, but it’s keeping me sane. I am busy at nights. I have this good feeling of no space and no time. Lights, hundreds of faces, my name screamed high in the ceilings. Eternally… I can’t think of anything else but the future. And it seems so black…
“Ali called for lunch. Didn’t you hear her?”
My friend. You touch me on my shoulder and look at me with an inquisitive gaze. I wish you knew at least, and I wish you didn’t at the same time. I look back at you and try to render my eyes inexpressive at the most. You acknowledge my effort, I see it, because you put on a worried expression, still you don’t say anything. I know you will soon, though. You always think before talking.
“Sorry, mate I was just wandering with my mind. Let’s go before she kills me for letting her lunch get cold…” I try to smile and look easy.
I know you sometimes stopped and contemplated about my particularly pale face, or my strange business meetings. I know you talked to the others about how I looked nervous or silent. But I am a good showman, and a good showman knows how to conceal his feelings. Still, I am just a good one – not a great one, in this respect.
Now I will start my show. I will act and get loud talks and great laughs today, to take away your doubts.
After all, this is a party. And you are supposed to have fun at a party.
I’ve got loads of stuff on my mind… my family, my band, my charities…I have to settle things and fast. I find myself thinking about time… I always thought, there’s time, it will take a long time, we’ll see in the long run… Time is infinite, after all.
You can divide an hour in minutes, a minute in seconds, and so on. Until you want to. Find the littlest infinitesimal part of time, it will always have a smaller one. Edge would laugh at me, but I think I might measure my days in infinitesimal parts of seconds from now on, they would seem longer. He’d say it’s exactly the same, but, hey, I’m the poet here, I’m the dreamer. I still have my right to dream.
I should tell them. There’s a sort of glass separating me from them right now. They might not be aware of it but I feel the distance. And in the distance I feel cold, and lonely.
Though, they do seem to be all right in their distant world. What am I supposed to do, to stand up and break the news, then say, ok, back to the party now…? That would be selfish… Ali, I know you would say that I am joking... but you'd see from my face I'm serious...
“Bono, your wife is an accomplished chef… you lucky man… So what, aren’t you hungry?” Adam, who sits next to me, says.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I raise my head from under the table where the kids got to make a mess and look at Bono. Why is he so silent? Why has he been so retired? Is he tired of it all? He does not want to show me his true feelings. He doesn’t even want to write with me. What is he hiding?
It’s a great day. We all were looking forward to join our families to celebrate. But he’s not as brilliant as he usually is in these occasions. I tried to have an eye on him in the last weeks, but he’s been very attentive not to let me take too much advantage on knowing what he’s doing or whatever. He’s often away – sometimes too often to believe it is for his charities business or such things. And he’s so distant and cold with Ali today.
Good Lord… what is he doing? Wouldn’t he really have an affair… That mistress they talked about…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up early this morning. Well, I am always the one who works here. I had to settle something before tonight, we have an award ceremony. Tomorrow morning we will all be too much drunk from the party and we have to prepare today what is needed for tomorrow night show. I called Adam and ask him to help – he’s not very willing of getting up early usually, but he said he would get ready in a little.
While I am waiting for him in the hall, I see you walk outside the hotel looking around suspiciously, alone.
I hope you are not messing things up, man.
You act far too strange even for your usual ways.
There’s something I don’t like in this and still I can’t believe that you would cheat on your wife. I am sure you love her and adore your children – but the other day at home you did not show her any affection. Why? It never happened before.
Don’t mess up… keep going on your own path… I have to find a way to tell you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I got to the hall, still half asleep, Larry touched me in with his elbow and gestured to keep silent and look. I was quite surprised. It is not your usual way. You are usually so… noisy, in everything you do. Why did you become so furtive, so lonely? Edge told me yesterday he is starting to believe you’re gone out mad, got a mistress and opened an account somewhere on a far island, and think of run away… I can’t possibly think of you doing that. It must be we’re biased by the gossip around. But I’m starting to think it’s like that…
DISCLAIMER: Some facts may be real but the story is all fiction, coming from my (ill) mind... no money making from this.
PG for themes.
Chapter 1 - Reality Check
Autumn. Leaves falling. Will everything fall with them?
I look at you. You’re beautiful, as usual. It’s me who changed. You’re just too taken in what you’re doing to think about why I stand still in front of this window. You work hard in the kitchen since yesterday morning. You wanted this to be a perfect day. I’m not of much use now.
You should not count that much on me anymore.
I feel tired. I feel like I cannot take it. Still, I try it. Because I still feel that all my life is here, and in this moment, among these walls there’s everything I live for. You, my wife. And my children, my friends, my music. Perfect framework for this perfect day.
In a few minutes you will call for lunch. My boys will fly from upstairs with my friends’ little ones and you will be shouting at them to slow down in fear they might fall… and they will be fighting and screaming as usual.
My girls… my beautiful girls, they will probably be late for a phone call or excusing themselves out for some shopping or anything else… they’ve grown up, man…
This is what I wanted all of my life to be like…
I’m scared. I did not realize it until right now. I know I should tell you everything. But I just cannot. I’m scared of things to change. I’ve tried to. I’ve even given hints, unwillingly. You did not understand, that’s my luck. I am paying attention at not to do it anymore, because I want it to be like it is between us. Unspoken.
I want to see my children grow up, I want to walk my daughters down the aisle on their marriage.
Being on tour is hard with this on my mind, but it’s keeping me sane. I am busy at nights. I have this good feeling of no space and no time. Lights, hundreds of faces, my name screamed high in the ceilings. Eternally… I can’t think of anything else but the future. And it seems so black…
“Ali called for lunch. Didn’t you hear her?”
My friend. You touch me on my shoulder and look at me with an inquisitive gaze. I wish you knew at least, and I wish you didn’t at the same time. I look back at you and try to render my eyes inexpressive at the most. You acknowledge my effort, I see it, because you put on a worried expression, still you don’t say anything. I know you will soon, though. You always think before talking.
“Sorry, mate I was just wandering with my mind. Let’s go before she kills me for letting her lunch get cold…” I try to smile and look easy.
I know you sometimes stopped and contemplated about my particularly pale face, or my strange business meetings. I know you talked to the others about how I looked nervous or silent. But I am a good showman, and a good showman knows how to conceal his feelings. Still, I am just a good one – not a great one, in this respect.
Now I will start my show. I will act and get loud talks and great laughs today, to take away your doubts.
After all, this is a party. And you are supposed to have fun at a party.
I’ve got loads of stuff on my mind… my family, my band, my charities…I have to settle things and fast. I find myself thinking about time… I always thought, there’s time, it will take a long time, we’ll see in the long run… Time is infinite, after all.
You can divide an hour in minutes, a minute in seconds, and so on. Until you want to. Find the littlest infinitesimal part of time, it will always have a smaller one. Edge would laugh at me, but I think I might measure my days in infinitesimal parts of seconds from now on, they would seem longer. He’d say it’s exactly the same, but, hey, I’m the poet here, I’m the dreamer. I still have my right to dream.
I should tell them. There’s a sort of glass separating me from them right now. They might not be aware of it but I feel the distance. And in the distance I feel cold, and lonely.
Though, they do seem to be all right in their distant world. What am I supposed to do, to stand up and break the news, then say, ok, back to the party now…? That would be selfish… Ali, I know you would say that I am joking... but you'd see from my face I'm serious...
“Bono, your wife is an accomplished chef… you lucky man… So what, aren’t you hungry?” Adam, who sits next to me, says.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I raise my head from under the table where the kids got to make a mess and look at Bono. Why is he so silent? Why has he been so retired? Is he tired of it all? He does not want to show me his true feelings. He doesn’t even want to write with me. What is he hiding?
It’s a great day. We all were looking forward to join our families to celebrate. But he’s not as brilliant as he usually is in these occasions. I tried to have an eye on him in the last weeks, but he’s been very attentive not to let me take too much advantage on knowing what he’s doing or whatever. He’s often away – sometimes too often to believe it is for his charities business or such things. And he’s so distant and cold with Ali today.
Good Lord… what is he doing? Wouldn’t he really have an affair… That mistress they talked about…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up early this morning. Well, I am always the one who works here. I had to settle something before tonight, we have an award ceremony. Tomorrow morning we will all be too much drunk from the party and we have to prepare today what is needed for tomorrow night show. I called Adam and ask him to help – he’s not very willing of getting up early usually, but he said he would get ready in a little.
While I am waiting for him in the hall, I see you walk outside the hotel looking around suspiciously, alone.
I hope you are not messing things up, man.
You act far too strange even for your usual ways.
There’s something I don’t like in this and still I can’t believe that you would cheat on your wife. I am sure you love her and adore your children – but the other day at home you did not show her any affection. Why? It never happened before.
Don’t mess up… keep going on your own path… I have to find a way to tell you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I got to the hall, still half asleep, Larry touched me in with his elbow and gestured to keep silent and look. I was quite surprised. It is not your usual way. You are usually so… noisy, in everything you do. Why did you become so furtive, so lonely? Edge told me yesterday he is starting to believe you’re gone out mad, got a mistress and opened an account somewhere on a far island, and think of run away… I can’t possibly think of you doing that. It must be we’re biased by the gossip around. But I’m starting to think it’s like that…
Naughty secrets.....
