It's been a while since I've been in here, but this seems to be where the more articulate people hang out
, so I thought it would be nice to get some input again on a familiar subject...
A little over a year ago, I started this thread in here lamenting my woes in the area of friendship/romance. I decided to reread it tonight because, well, I had nothing better to do
. I have to admit, I found it funny to think of how short-sighted I was in my gloomy state then, but I was struck by how something I said back then is really coming into the light now, and I'd like to get some of your opinions on the idea. Anyway, here's a quote from my last post in that first thread:
Now, fast forward a year. Both my friend and I have graduated college, and both of us are now living in California (although we're about a 6 hour drive apart). I finally got to see her again a couple weeks ago and we'll definitely be seeing each other more often from now on.
The truly interesting part is that the love I talked about back then is present as ever. My best friend is going through a tough time, and right now I'm basically doing everything I can to make her happy or at least minimize the pain. Our friendship has strengthened so much in the past few months that I feel the possibility of something more very enticing and very real. It's really hard to describe our friendship to people who don't really know us. The only way I can describe it is as the most pure and true friendship I have ever been in, and I would say the best example of true friendship I've seen out of any of the people I know. It's an incredible thing to still call someone your best friend after 10 years, but even more amazing considering for 4 of those years we never saw each other at all, and for another 2 of those years we only saw each other once a year.
For the majority of our friendship I haven't been geographically close to her, but our faith in each other, honesty with each other, and genuine love for each other has been both a great inspiration and an immense comfort to me. Friends come and go, lovers come and go, but she is and always has been there for me, as I have been and am there for her.
I know I'm rambling a bit, but I feel the need to emphasize that this is no ordinary friendship. Lately we've been basically spending each afternoon chatting for hours about anything and everything, and it's quite clear that when she has had time to heal and if the timing is right, our love for each other could quite easily progress into life-long romance. We've both said that the other is the kind of person we'd like to end up with.
There's a part of me that likes to think that maybe we're destined to be together and it's just now that we're both realizing that maybe we didn't need to look outside of our friendship to find the one that would take care of us and be our life-long best friend, confidante, comforter, supporter and lover. And there's a part of me that doesn't want to get my hopes up because even strong and mature friendships like ours can be a little strange when mixed with romance. I think it's obvious which part of me I prefer listening to, though
.
10 years ago I looked at this beautiful girl - with gorgeous blue eyes impossible to hide from, this talented performer with a beautiful voice and sensitive spirit, this caring and compassionate individual who doesn't have a mean streak in her - and I knew I needed her in my life. 10 years later I look at the incredible woman she's grown to be, but still vulnerable to hurt and pain, and we both know we need each other in our lives, except now maybe as more than friends. Nothing would make me happier than being the one to make her happy for the rest of her life.
So, now that I've dumped all that out, I ask for any advice, input, insight, comments or experiences any of you might have that could help.
A little over a year ago, I started this thread in here lamenting my woes in the area of friendship/romance. I decided to reread it tonight because, well, I had nothing better to do
One good thing I've learned is that in long term friendships that are strong, there is a real and true love for the other person that develops - maybe not a romantic love, but still a love that I think opens the possibility for more down the road. I've known my best friend since the 7th grade, and I had a huge crush on her for the longest time, but through it all we were really good friends. Now, nearly 10 years after we first became friends, we can talk comfortably about those days and we've even talked about the possibility of something more (I say this without really getting my hopes up, because we live in separate states and i haven't seen her in 3 years). But there is an acceptance in that friendship that we both share a lot of the qualities that we like in a romance, and I guess our friendship has grown and matured enough that we can accept that and not try and hide it. We've joked that if we're still single in 5 years....
Now, fast forward a year. Both my friend and I have graduated college, and both of us are now living in California (although we're about a 6 hour drive apart). I finally got to see her again a couple weeks ago and we'll definitely be seeing each other more often from now on.
The truly interesting part is that the love I talked about back then is present as ever. My best friend is going through a tough time, and right now I'm basically doing everything I can to make her happy or at least minimize the pain. Our friendship has strengthened so much in the past few months that I feel the possibility of something more very enticing and very real. It's really hard to describe our friendship to people who don't really know us. The only way I can describe it is as the most pure and true friendship I have ever been in, and I would say the best example of true friendship I've seen out of any of the people I know. It's an incredible thing to still call someone your best friend after 10 years, but even more amazing considering for 4 of those years we never saw each other at all, and for another 2 of those years we only saw each other once a year.
For the majority of our friendship I haven't been geographically close to her, but our faith in each other, honesty with each other, and genuine love for each other has been both a great inspiration and an immense comfort to me. Friends come and go, lovers come and go, but she is and always has been there for me, as I have been and am there for her.
I know I'm rambling a bit, but I feel the need to emphasize that this is no ordinary friendship. Lately we've been basically spending each afternoon chatting for hours about anything and everything, and it's quite clear that when she has had time to heal and if the timing is right, our love for each other could quite easily progress into life-long romance. We've both said that the other is the kind of person we'd like to end up with.
There's a part of me that likes to think that maybe we're destined to be together and it's just now that we're both realizing that maybe we didn't need to look outside of our friendship to find the one that would take care of us and be our life-long best friend, confidante, comforter, supporter and lover. And there's a part of me that doesn't want to get my hopes up because even strong and mature friendships like ours can be a little strange when mixed with romance. I think it's obvious which part of me I prefer listening to, though
10 years ago I looked at this beautiful girl - with gorgeous blue eyes impossible to hide from, this talented performer with a beautiful voice and sensitive spirit, this caring and compassionate individual who doesn't have a mean streak in her - and I knew I needed her in my life. 10 years later I look at the incredible woman she's grown to be, but still vulnerable to hurt and pain, and we both know we need each other in our lives, except now maybe as more than friends. Nothing would make me happier than being the one to make her happy for the rest of her life.
So, now that I've dumped all that out, I ask for any advice, input, insight, comments or experiences any of you might have that could help.
