Bridesmaid nightmare

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Kiki

Kiki

New Yorker
Joined
Oct 24, 2001
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mainly in my fantasy land.....ooooo how I wish it
alright so I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my friends wedding which is in 13 months. Now I know that I've been through this and I know I know what to do and what not to do and all that stuff, but she's driving me nuts already. None of her other girls have ever had a church wedding or a reception. It's been spur of the moments in Vegas or court house ceremonies, so she keeps im-ing me, emailing me, texting me, calling me for questions. Now that's not the part that bothers me, I'm more than happy to answer her questions, etc. It's this whole deal about her bridal shower and her bachelorette party that's driving me up the wall.

I've finally told her in a nice way, Look...your wedding's not till next Fall and you've picked out the dates for your shower and your bachelorette party, so now you just need to stop worrying about those and let us take care of it. But she can't let go! She wants me and her maid of honor to plan everything now. I'm like.....chill out girl!!!! I'm not going to plan something more than an entire year away. It's not like she wants to go to Vegas for a party or anything, she wants it locally. Now I completely agree that she should have a say in what she does or does not want at her bachelorette party (ie-no strippers was her request), but for me to actually sit down and plan this now......and she keeps asking, have you called my sister yet? have you called her back? She's not working now, call her now. (her sister's the maid of honor).

I love her, she's a great friend and I know she's not done this before.....but heaven help me I'm quickly losing my patience!!!!! And I've still got more than a year ahead of this!!!!!!!!!
 
Ok...you need to tell her that you are simply not going to discuss any plans for the shower and bachlorette party since you have already gotten the basic rules (ie no strippers) and who she wants to go. Traditionally and even now as is my case, the bride is not supposed to know about any of the plans for these two events...it's her friends chance to take the reins and shower the bride with attention. I have no clue what is going to happen for my shower and bachlorette party other than the fact that I know who'll be there! 'Nuff said. Simply refuse to discuss anything and I'd try to get the rest of the bridal party in agreeance here. Simply end the conversation until she gets you aren't spilling any beans.
 
:lol:
ooooooooooooo man. Yeah I agree with everything, I never wanted any say in my shower/bachlorette party, etc. I let my girls do what they wanted, they knew what I was comfortable with and wasn't. Anyway....I feel really bad about posting that now. The guy she's been with, her fiance...they've been together 6 years and he ended it yesterday.

This is the second time they got engaged and now the second time she's been dumped by his sorry butt. He's making up excuses about how it's society and society's making him nervous about marriage and all this stuff.

She came over last night and hung out with my husband and me, and we just told her.....don't go back unless you know for sure he's seriously going to go through with it. She doesnt want to go back but she's just been thrown for such a loop this time. They had the date set this time, the site, the colors, the people in the wedding, etc.

ah....I just don't understand....why would you propose to her a few weeks ago and do this just to back out again? If it wasnt right the first time, why try again till you're really sure?:eyebrow:
 
Kiki said:
He's making up excuses about how it's society and society's making him nervous about marriage and all this stuff.
Click to expand...

:huh:

Wow. That's a worse excuse than the "Twinkie defense."
 
corianderstem said:
Society is also telling your friend to kick this dork in the nuts.
Click to expand...

:lmao: I'm passing that quote on to her when I see her again!

Yeah I posted a long thing on my myspace blog, knowing he'll see it. I didn't go out and attack him, but made it known how stupid of an excuse that was. I think I'll post it in my journal on here if anyone wants to check it out.

She actually went on that site, www.dontdatehimgirl.com and put him on there! I wasnt sure whether to encourage her or just what....so I just laughed and told her to do it if she thought it was right.
 
ok.....so are you all ready for this?
































the wedding's BACK ON! :crazy:

omg...... :lmao: I've agreed to still be a bridesmaid and she assures me he's changed and it does sound like it, but Amber, one of the other bridesmaids, and I will see for ourselves this Saturday night.
Last time we couldnt even talk about the wedding in front of him, this time apparently we can and he's excited.

So hopefully it seems like the counseling has helped.

:rockon:
 
Is there something particularly special about his degree of lameness that keeps your friend so enchanted by this guy? 'Cuz there's thousands of fella's out there that would happily marry her AND continue the emotional abuse without near the effort she's put into this one already. :rolleyes: :banghead:
 
:lol: I know, I know.

My husband's tried talking to her, I've tried talking to her. Our other friends have tried talking to her, her mom's tried.

I really don't know what it is. I mean her big thing has been her son. She keeps throwing it around that, "You can pull me back and forth, but look what you're doing to Zach!"

I finally snapped at her and told her, "You're his mother! YOU need to put an end to this if you're concerned about him being confused and hurt and stressed out about it, not your boyfriend or fiance."

Her.........I dunno even what to call him anymore. I guess it is her fiance, has told her in the past he has no desire to be a father, etc. Now all of a sudden thats changed and he wants them to have a kid together and he wants to adopt her son.

So....:shrug: I'm trying to be supportive, but sometimes it gets a little old with the daily changes of on and off again.

I do hope he's gotten over his cold feet or whatever it is. I'd be even more disappointed in him this time around if he breaks it off again.
And I keep asking myself, as my husband asks me too, why she keeps going back. What is it about him.

And I have no answers. He's a good friend...but honestly.....I don't think any other girl out there would really....be falling all over him.

I'm not meaning to be mean or rude, but after some of the things that have come out of his mouth about her, to her face and to their friends it's one of those situations where when you're around them you're sort of on eggshells and :yikes:
 
Ok - so this is your plan: Kidnap her and refuse to let her marry him. If you must drag her by her veil on the wedding day itself, then DOOOOO IIIIITTT..

This is not going to end well for her. I mean, really. Seriously. How badly does she not want to be alone that she feels she simply must take this man?

*must. not. chickenchoke.*
 
Chicken choking is fun, m'kay? Highly recommended to think about it when someone annoys you.

But then, so is fantasizing about feeding your boss fatal plus, the stuff they use to euthanize animals. Wouldn't do anything but make him very sleepy, but oh well. It's the thought that's funny.
 
:reject: so I knew I should have listened to all of you months ago and to myself for that matter and just said NO I won't be in their wedding, but thank God I just made it past the oops part of this.

So I was still in the wedding which was to be in September of this year. The bridesmaids, we all went to get fitted for the dress's a week ago Friday. Today I find out------------ :bonodrum:

the wedding's off.

if it goes back on, I'm telling her I'm not going to be able to stand up for her. I know I know, I should have listened to myself and everyone else back months ago, but thankfully I've got the back bone now to stand up to her and tell her I just can't bring myself to do this.
 
Yup I would just tell your friend you have had enough of the drama and you refuse to be a bridesmaid now. All of this should be a strong sign to her that marriage with this guy isn't going to happen!
 
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