LikeNoOneBefore
Refugee
I love my best friend. He is one of my only friends at school (all the other close ones are at a different school in our town), and he knows how to make me laugh. We have a thousand inside jokes, and we're the kind of friends who say things at the same time, burst out into the same song, can look at each other and start laughing over something we only know, and who I feel like I belong with.
But lately, my dearest Nick hasn't been the same. Lately, if I call him up with something wrong, he gives me a "Well what do you want ME to do about it?" or "I'm not getting involved. Can't you figure it out yourself? You're sixteen!" But then, he expects me to solve his dilemmas. If I see him at school, he'll give me his usual hug, but anything I say, he responds with bitter sarcasm or anger. I have no idea why. My other best friend, Dom says that maybe it's because of our age difference. He's younger than me, being a freshman, and he's definitely going through that "awkward phase" of one's life. He's mature for his age, but I don't remember doing half the things he does. Of course, I'm a girl, so I could have dealt with things differently.
Anyway, here's what I'm getting at. Nick is a good kid. He works hard in school, and he's into fine arts and everything. Everyone who meets him loves him, and he's one of those kids with an addicting personality. He's always been pretty firm on what he will and won't do. One of those things is drinking. He said he'll only drink once in a while. Maybe once every few months at a party, and he says he knows when to stop. But this month, the drinking's gotten more frequent. He showed up to the first practice of the week of our spring musical with a hangover, and the only reason I found out about it was because a friend of ours can't keep his mouth shut. Last night, he went out to a huge birthday party for the biggest druggie I know. The few days preceeding it, I tried to talk to him about how he's been hurting my feelings by how he treats me and how all the drinking is worrying me, but he would hardly listen. So last night, he texted me and told me he was at the party. I told him to be careful, and he gave me a "Whatever" and I said "I know you're a smart kid. Just saying this because I love you." And he replies, "Tracy, I'm partying. Get over it." So I said "I'm not saying don't have fun. I'm just saying be careful. Call me later or if you need anything." He didn't reply.
Today I talked to him for about 48 seconds when he called me. He was still out with three people from the party (one of which I REALLY don't like and who he used to hate but suddenly doesn't), and he said he'd call me back. He didn't. This was around 11:00. I called him around 2:00 and left him a voicemail. Then around 7:00 I called again. He answered and said he'd call back, but once again, didn't.
So what can I do? I know I can't run his life, but I have to get through to him that this is not a good idea. I can already see his behavior changing and his work ethic too. It's not that I don't want him to have fun or have other friends. I just hate seeing people I know get consumed by this lifestyle. I mean, it's not that bad yet. I'm happy he's not into the drugs or anything, but I know that this isn't something he should be doing. Dom says that I can either alienate him, in which he'll either get angrier at me or my message will get through, or I can stick around, where he'll either get mad at me for caring so much or appreciate everything. I'm not sure what's good for both of us. I know I wouldn't be the same without him. I really adore him. But he needs to know that I don't like this, and he's hurting both of us. I can't stand the person he is when he snaps at me for no reason. What else can I do?
Any insight would be appreciated.
But lately, my dearest Nick hasn't been the same. Lately, if I call him up with something wrong, he gives me a "Well what do you want ME to do about it?" or "I'm not getting involved. Can't you figure it out yourself? You're sixteen!" But then, he expects me to solve his dilemmas. If I see him at school, he'll give me his usual hug, but anything I say, he responds with bitter sarcasm or anger. I have no idea why. My other best friend, Dom says that maybe it's because of our age difference. He's younger than me, being a freshman, and he's definitely going through that "awkward phase" of one's life. He's mature for his age, but I don't remember doing half the things he does. Of course, I'm a girl, so I could have dealt with things differently.
Anyway, here's what I'm getting at. Nick is a good kid. He works hard in school, and he's into fine arts and everything. Everyone who meets him loves him, and he's one of those kids with an addicting personality. He's always been pretty firm on what he will and won't do. One of those things is drinking. He said he'll only drink once in a while. Maybe once every few months at a party, and he says he knows when to stop. But this month, the drinking's gotten more frequent. He showed up to the first practice of the week of our spring musical with a hangover, and the only reason I found out about it was because a friend of ours can't keep his mouth shut. Last night, he went out to a huge birthday party for the biggest druggie I know. The few days preceeding it, I tried to talk to him about how he's been hurting my feelings by how he treats me and how all the drinking is worrying me, but he would hardly listen. So last night, he texted me and told me he was at the party. I told him to be careful, and he gave me a "Whatever" and I said "I know you're a smart kid. Just saying this because I love you." And he replies, "Tracy, I'm partying. Get over it." So I said "I'm not saying don't have fun. I'm just saying be careful. Call me later or if you need anything." He didn't reply.
Today I talked to him for about 48 seconds when he called me. He was still out with three people from the party (one of which I REALLY don't like and who he used to hate but suddenly doesn't), and he said he'd call me back. He didn't. This was around 11:00. I called him around 2:00 and left him a voicemail. Then around 7:00 I called again. He answered and said he'd call back, but once again, didn't.
So what can I do? I know I can't run his life, but I have to get through to him that this is not a good idea. I can already see his behavior changing and his work ethic too. It's not that I don't want him to have fun or have other friends. I just hate seeing people I know get consumed by this lifestyle. I mean, it's not that bad yet. I'm happy he's not into the drugs or anything, but I know that this isn't something he should be doing. Dom says that I can either alienate him, in which he'll either get angrier at me or my message will get through, or I can stick around, where he'll either get mad at me for caring so much or appreciate everything. I'm not sure what's good for both of us. I know I wouldn't be the same without him. I really adore him. But he needs to know that I don't like this, and he's hurting both of us. I can't stand the person he is when he snaps at me for no reason. What else can I do?
Any insight would be appreciated.
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