No Line On The Horizon - Interscope 2009
Rating = 5/10
CLOSED LETTER TO DAVID FRICKE OF ROLLING STONE
(so nobody else read it)
Dear Mr. Fricke,
Exactly how awful does an album have to be for you to give it less than 4 stars out of 5?
You gave Guns 'N Roses' horrific Chinese Democracy 4 stars out of 5, calling the overworked and underwritten trash heap a "great, audacious, unhinged and uncompromising hard-rock record." You gave Smashing Pumpkins' worthless Zeitgeist 4 stars out of 5, referring to its pig-squealed generic shit-rock as "impressive and convincing" and comparing it to "Tony Iommi all over....Robert Smith." And now you've even topped yourself, awarding No Line On The Horizon -- possibly U2's worst record of all time -- a perfect 5 stars out of 5!
5 stars out of 5!? Are you kidding me? Did you somehow miss the four godawful songs in a row right there in the middle? The awkward group vocals that they unsuccessfully try to squeeze into two different songs? The 'we're still cool' hipster funk bullshit and boring self-important melodrama that make up the entire second half?
These aren't strengths!
Okay, let's take a closer look at your review to see if we can figure out what in Sam Hell is going on around here:
"'I was born to sing for you/I didn't have a choice but to lift you up,' Bono declares early on this album, in a song called "Magnificent." He does it in an oddly low register, a heated hush just above the shimmer of the Edge's guitar and the iron-horse roll of bassist Adam Clayton and drummer Larry Mullen Jr. Bono is soon up in thin air with those familiar rodeo yells, on his way to the chorus, which ends with him just singing the word 'magnificent,' repeating it with relish, stretching the syllables.
But he does it not in self-congratulation, more like wonder and respect, as if in middle age, on his band's 11th studio album, he still can't believe his gift — and luck. Bono knows he was born with a good weapon for making the right kind of trouble: the clean gleam and rocket's arc of that voice. 'It was one dull morning/I woke the world with bawling,' he boasted in 'Out of Control,' written by Bono on his 18th birthday and issued on U2's Irish debut EP."
Okay, that's a good intro. "Magnificent" is indeed a wonderful song - one of the very, very few to be found on this album. Let's continue.
"He is still singing about singing, all over No Line on the Horizon, U2's first album in nearly five years and their best, in its textural exploration and tenacious melodic grip, since 1991's Achtung Baby."
Now see, that's where I have to stop you. "Tenacious melodic grip"? Beyond track two, this album has NO melodic grip. The album starts off on a delightful foot, with both the title track and "Magnificent" soaring spiritually like the finest of U2's post-War work. This searching-but-optimistic tone continues to less melodic impact on the next two tracks before bottoming out with the hookless U2-by-numbers "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight" (featuring such vomitous lyrics as "Every generation gets a chance to save the world"). And that's the spiritual, melodic portion of the record - the first five songs. Next are two hideous attempts to prove they're still fresh and funky -- including boogie rocker "Get On Your Boots," unquestionably the weakest single they've ever released. Finally, having proven they're out here to show everybody a Good Time!, they suddenly become ultra-serious (and surprisingly cold) for four final songs that they clearly consider to be of great importance. So important, in fact, that bothering to include a melody would just be clouding the issue.
In short, the CD is strongest near the beginning, because that's when they at least try to create beautiful, spiritual music -- at times questioning, but ultimately optimistic. This, to me, is where U2 excels at this late date in their career. I relistened to All That You Can't Leave Behind the other day expecting to hate its guts and lower its grade to a 5, but I darn-near loved the thing. Yes, it has some weak tracks (like the last song), but so many of them are just GORGEOUS! The combination of a melodic chord progression and Bono's soaring voice makes for a very lovely piece of sonic thingy.
As such, their decision to devote the latter half of the disc to lame funk-boogie and depressing folk/world musings was not, in my view, a well-considered one. For the sake of full disclosure, I should add that I do get a kick out of the viola/guitar rocker "Breathe," but mainly because I don't think I've ever heard a viola/guitar rocker before!
Incidentally, I got bored with the whole "letter to David Fricke" conceit when I realized that his review mostly focuses on the meaning of Bono's lyrics. Who fucking cares what old Boner has to say? Especially when The Vadge doesn't have any decent guitar parts to add! And Larry Mullen? Yeah, he should've been MULLEN (mullin') OVER SOME NEW SONG IDEAS, IF YOU ASK ME!
It's not that I don't think U2 should experiment with their sound; after all, if the young rockers of War fame hadn't experimented with quieter, more spiritual music, The Joshua Tree would never have happened. Furthermore, they already demonstrated with How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb that the established combination of 'pretty songs' plus 'Bono's voice' doesn't necessarily equal 'anything worth listening to.' My real problem is that most of these songs simply aren't very good. And I realize that's impossibly vague and violently subjective, but as a music fan, I find much of this music lacking the creative and melodic qualities that characterize good music.
I like certain aspects of the songs: the grim atmosphere of "Cedars of Lebanon," the gospel soul-searching of "Moment Of Surrender," the exuberant wordless chorus cry of "Unknown Caller." But the melodies are barely there, and the album is full of rotten vocal decisions. Bono has one of the most sonically beautiful voices in pop music. So why is he hoarsely singing everything on one note in the title track? Why is he just sort of talking in "Cedars of Lebanon"? Why do they bury him under a bunch of dopey group vocals in "Unknown Caller" and "Fez-Being Born"?
In conclusion, WAY TO GO ADAM CLAYTON, YOU RUINED THE ALBUM!