I've got a good one...
A long time ago I was simply a lonesome and starry-eyed farmer boy working in the town of Dublin with my Aunt and Uncle. I never knew my parents and I dreamed of a life of adventure beyond the dull plains of my hometown. I had heard distant whispers of a fearsome conflict between an evil empire and an alliance of men known as U2.
One day, as I was traveling too far beyond the borders of my Uncle's farm, I ran into an old hermit wizard named Larry Mullen Kenobi. He told me that he needed me to go with him on his quest to save the Princess Edge and to restore peace in the world. He recounted stories of his past fighting as a "Hitman" for the U2 alliance. But now he was old. Those days were behind him. He made it clear that we were in dire times and that drastic measures were called for. A battle known as the HTDAAB Wars had broken out and many of the U2 alliance had been killed or cast off.
There was a new power in the world, and they were led by a man of tremendous darkness and hatred. His name was Darth McGuinness.
Larry Mullen Kenobi needed my help to defeat Darth McGuinness. He trained me in the ways of the Catorce. The Catorce, he explained, was an ancient but long-forgotten religion used by the old U2 alliance. It was all-powerful and, once it was learned, it could lead the people of the Earth back to prosperity.
I decided then and there that this was my destiny. It was the adventure I had longed for my whole life. I was to learn the ways of the Catorce and become a U2 knight.
So Larry Kenobi and I traveled to the nearby town of Pop Eisley where we were to find transport to the Lypton Village...the presumed hometown of Princess the Edge.
There we met a cocky and brash pilot named Han Bono and his hairy sidekick Claytonbacca. Han Bono told us that, for the right price, we could be passengers on his ship the Achtung Falcon and that he would take us to Lypton Village and to the Princess Edge.
As our journey neared completion and we were about to reach the Lypton Village, Larry Mullen Kenobi felt a great disturbance in the Catorce. He said it was as if a million voices all cried out at once and were suddenly silenced. It was soon after that we discovered that the Lypton Village had been destroyed!!! We feared that we had lost the Princess Edge forever. But who or what could possibly be capable of such wanton destruction?
Then, up in the distance, we saw a great black orb shining on a hill. It was the Zoo Station!!! Darth McGuinness and the Evil Empire had constructed a station of such lethal destructive strength and we were being sucked staright towards it! The Achtung Falcon couldn't turn around, not even under the sure-handed guidance of Han Bono and Claytonbacca. The next thing we knew, we had landed inside the Zoo Station where we were sure we would meet our doom.
But Larry Kenobi was a sly and wise old man and he devised a plan for us to evade the Empire's troops. We soon found a safe-haven within the Zoo Station where we would be able to rest and think of our next plan of action. It was there that we discovered that the Princess Edge was being held captive on the Zoo Station! This was providence! We could now save the Princess! We had hope, even if it was only a slight glimmer of hope.
The plan was for Larry Kenobi to go and turn off the tractor beam that had sucked us in, and Han Bono, Claytonbacca and I were to go find the Princess Edge and rescue him from the clutches of certain death.
Following a long and fierce fight with the Empire's troops in which I summoned all the strength of the Catorce, we found the Princess Edge and broke him out of his prison cell. And Larry Kenobi was successful, too, in disabling the tractor beam. Now all we had to do was get back into the Achtung Falcon and fly home to safety. But it would not be so easy.
As Larry Mullen Kenobi was walking down a secluded hall of the Zoo Station, he heard behind him the unmistakable breathing of Darth McGuinness. Darth pulled out his wad of cash, Larry pulled out his drumstick, and a battle ensued between the two that raged with the fury and fire of a thousand burning suns. The old man Larry was was no match for Darth McGuinness and the Dark Lord cut him in two with his roll of $100 bills.
I screamed in agony...but it was too late. Han Bono pushed me into the Achtung Falcon and we made our getaway.
Princess Edge tried to console me, but it was of no use. He wanted me to see the big picture and told me that he had uncovered the secret plans to the Zoo Station. With my help, he said, we could destroy the terrible Zoo Station and bring an end to Darth McGuinness's reign of evil.
Hopped up on Xanax and Wine, I got into my car and drove toward the Zoo Station. According to the stolen plans, all I had to do was sing one U2 song at the perfect pitch and the station would explode. With the memory of Larry Mullen Kenobi in my heart and mind, and with all the power of the Catorce flowing through me, I was ready to take on anything.
But suddenly I was blindsided! My car was surrounded by enemy fighter cars! One of them was even being driven by Darth McGuinness himself. I was hopeless. There was no way I would make it out alive.
And just then, from out of nowhere, Han Bono showed up and drove all the enemy cars off the road!
"You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home."
I closed my eyes and I heard Larry's voice echoing in my ears..."Use the Catorce, GAF"
In perfect pitch I sang Where the Streets Have No Name as loud as I could, and the Zoo Station burst into a ball of flames. Darth McGuinness and the Evil Empire were defeated.
Princess Edge was gracious enough to bestow an awards ceremony upon me, Han Bono, and Claytonbacca. We were given medals of honor and we were declared heroes across the land.
The U2 alliance was finally restored to power.
I'm an aspiring journo too, good luck with that!
Would that be cool?
indeedy . . . please keep digging corianderstem 
I got a rush of 'fan-girly-ness' just reading that 
