Older Rockers: Stop the music!
Philadelphia Inquirer, January 10, 2005
David Hiltbrand
Congratulations to U2 on its imminent induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Fair play! The Irish rockers deserve the honor.
I hope it'll keep them out of the recording studio.
It's heresy to say it, but U2 hasn't put out a decent album since "Achtung Baby" in 1991.
Sure, the band's latest, "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb," is riding high on the charts. But a more accurate title would be" How to Build a Stink Bomb."
The CD's only listenable track, "Vertigo," isn't even the best iPod commercial jingle ever. Other songs, such as "A Man and a Woman," "Crumbs From Your Table," and "Original of the Species," are maladroit and pretentious twaddle.
So why was "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" on so many critics' best-of-the-year lists?
Simple. U2's traditional, guitar-driven, 4/4 style reminds critics of the sounds they loved when they were younger, when writing about music was a passion and not a job.
I'll let you in on a little secret: Under their cynical crusts, music critics are a remarkably nostalgic breed.
Over and over, you'll find them fulsomely praising the newest release from faded heroes such as R.E.M., Bob Dylan, Elton John, Prince or Elvis Costello.
Their loyalty is touching but woefully misplaced - and a disservice to consumers. Because, swayed by their enthusiasm, we go out and plunk down some serious coinage for yet another stale and dreary disappointment.
The fact is, R.E.M. has been going steadily downhill since "Automatic for the People" (1992); Bob Dylan lost his way after "Empire Burlesque" (1985); Elton John has been decomposing since "Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy" (1975); Prince peaked with "Sign `o' the Times" (1987); and Elvis Costello should have packed it in after "King of America" (1986).
Look, rock is a young man's game. The music burns brightly but consumes its acolytes far faster. Theoretically at least, Kenny G could put out albums forever, each as good as the last, but ZZ Top has been running on fumes since "Eliminator" in 1983.
Maybe the solution is to put rockers on a strict quota system, like term limits for politicians. Five albums and you're out. Or until your first "Greatest Hits" package. Whichever comes first.
By capping their output, we'd still get their most energetic and creative work, but it would eliminate those messy and mediocre late-era releases.
And no more comeback CDs. Ever. One of 2004's saddest spectacles was the raft of musicians - Tears for Fears, George Michael, Richard Marx, Lionel Richie and others - trying desperately to scramble back onto the charts.
The Rolling Stones are one of the few rock bands that have managed to age gracefully (if indeed one can apply that phrase to Keith Richards). They have accomplished this by pouring most of their energy into their tours and recording only sporadically. (The last great Stones album, btw: 1972's "Exile on Main St.")
There's no escaping the fact that rock musicians have a limited creative phase. It's both pointless and unseemly to attempt to extend it.
Hey, Good Charlotte. I know you guys still probably get carded when you go into a bar. But have you considered retirement?
© Philadelphia Inquirer, 2005.
My comment to you David Hiltbrand is you better get some hearing aids...what a disgraceful article.
And to continue on with the topic of this thread Fuck You David go listen to whatever you listen to and stick a sock in it!