American Idol-Omaha, Nebraska Auditions
American Idol has held auditions in big cities like New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. But now they are in the heartland, Omaha, Nebraska. Will we find talent we can totally embrace, or will we point and laugh Omaha-ha-ha. But hey, where’s Paula? Is “plane is late” code for “bombed out of her skull?”
Chris Burnheisel has waited seven seasons to audition for American Idol. And he came bearing gifts. Randy and an absent Paula get stuffed animals. Simon gets a jacket. Chris shows off his Kelly Clarkson photo album. Simon places it on the judging table as a good luck charm for Chris. Chris sings “Since U Been Gone” with some pretty bad gymnastic moves. He wanted auditioning to be life altering. Too bad it’s more life faltering. Still, Chris is a sweet kid. And who knows, maybe he’ll get a Idol finale red carpet gig with Omaha’s very own Fox 42. But do we really need another Ross, the Intern?
Jason Rich is a from a small town in Iowa. Aren’t all towns in Iowa small? Jason is very cute (eye candy, yum) and seems like a nice guy. But can he sing? He sings “When You Say Nothing at All.” He keeps forgetting the lyrics. Jason is very lucky the judges are actually in a good mood and gets more chances than he probably deserves. Finally, he gets it together. His voice is good, but something bugs. Could it be that he’s too bombastic? Well, it doesn’t matter what I think because Jason is going to Hollywood.
So glad you could make it Paula...
Idol treats us to a new game show. “You Forgot the Lyrics.” And boy, do they ever. Many compete for the prize but only one person can win. A leather-hatted idiot wins the grand prize. But I seriously doubt he won a golden ticket.
Rachel Wick used to be a female arm wrestler. She even challenges Ryan. Wow, nice guns, Ryan. In front of the judges, Rachel sings “Don’t Tell Me to Stop Loving You.” I think she sounds good, but the judges think she is too twangy. However, Rachel is going to Hollywood, but not before she arm wrestles Paula. Yea, that’s a fair fight.
Sarah Whitaker used to be a professional wrestler. Hey, me too! She fulfills Simon’s dream by backhanding Ryan. Sarah sings something incredibly unrecognizable. Could anyone help me here? Sarah is too weird for words. Maybe she’s Alexis Cohen’s cousin. Hey, didn’t Bon Jovi have a hit with a song called “Omaha?”
Ryan trades places with Paula. Ryan is going to judge, and Paula is going to...well, whatever Ryan does. Samantha Sidley is a victim of this little experiment. She lacks confidence, but she sings “I Don’t Know Why” with a warm, husky voice I like. She’s told she needs to get better stage skills, but she does grab a golden ticket. I’m going to keep my eye on her. I hope she doesn’t bomb in Hollywood.
Elizabeth, Denise and Michael blow the judges away and are going to Hollywood. However, Elizabeth thinks she’s on her way to America’s Next Top Model. Tyra Banks says, “That would be fierce!”
From Kenosha, Wisconsin comes Angelica Puente. She has many daddy issues and lives with her grandma. Not to be mean, but sometimes I wish these people would save the drama for Oprah. Still, Angelica is just a kid, and I like that she comes to the audition in non-hoochie wear. The judges notice Angelica’s nerves. Simon tells her to picture Randy in a bikini. Great, now Angelica is going to toss her cookies. Angelica sings “Power of Love.” Well, she’s very loud, and she has no sense of self. She’s more of an imitation. But who knows where she’ll be in 5-6 years. Despite this, Angelica is going to Hollywood. A call is made to her dad. He’s very proud. Aww.
Oh, that DAUGHTRY! He’s such an inspiration. Many rockers come out from smoky bars, Hot Topic and mom and dad’s basement to audition for Idol.
David Cook combines a faux hawk with some Manic Panic Ruby Red streaks. He tells us that he brings something different to the AI table. He sings the Bon Jovi classic, “Allentown, “ oops, I mean “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Paula looks at Davis like he’s a big bottle of Tanqueray gin. David is a good singer, but lacks strong performing skills. Still, he gets a golden ticket. And I couldn’t help but notice how cute he is. Oh goody, more AI eye candy.
Johnny Escomilla says he’s the weirdest guy you’ll ever meet. Well, I won’t argue with that. Johnny is about to audition for the judges when, speaking of Tanqueray gin, Paula let’s out a huge hiccup. Klassy! Johnny sings the old classic, “Shout.” I want to shout, “Shut up!” His shiny jacket is blinding me, and now that I’ve heard him sing, I wish I was deaf. Nope, no golden ticket to go with Johnny’s golden jacket.
Now we’re treated to a montage of bad auditioners singing Stealer Wheel’s “Stuck in the Middle With You.” Remember that scene in Reservoir Dogs? Yep, this was worse.
Leo Marlowe is funny and snarky. Hey, my kind of person! He sings “A Song for You” made notable when Elliott Yamin sang this song back in season 5. Thankfully, Leo sounds really good. He’s both talented and likable. I look forward to seeing more of him.
In the end 19 happy people got golden tickets. Still, I was left wanting after the Omaha auditions. Could it be that no delusional loser had an expletive-laced meltdown after being rejected by the judges?
Next audition stop? Sunny Miami!