Sad_Girl
Blue Crack Supplier
**Disclaimer – Though inspired in part by people who exist in reality, this story is not meant to represent them in any literal way. No offense is meant to anyone who resembles in any way any of the characters in the story.
On the rising tide Chapter 19
Not long after Carra and Bono’s arrival, there was another knock at the front door. This one Adam could not help but hear. He answered the door, strapping on his scabbard and sword cautiously. The loud, impatient nature of the pounding gave everyone who heard it pause.
“Can I help you?” Adam asked, eyeing the two rather suspicious men who stood on the top step when he opened the door.
“I certainly hope so.” A familiar voice replied, coming from one of the people standing at the foot of the stairs, drawing Adam’s attention.
“Edge!” He greeted the man with a toothy grin. “Come in, come in!” He told them all with a wave. He smiled politely at the pretty young woman on Edge’s arm, taking her cloak for her and hanging it on the rack near the door. The surprise in his eyes when he saw her condition was barely noticeable, and Edge was thankful that he made no mention of it.
“Adam, this is Gavin Friday, and this is Guggi. Two of Bono’s oldest mates, and friends to me as well.” He told him, introducing the strangers quickly and turning to the woman with love in his eyes. “And this is my Molly.” He told him, his possessive words softened by the tenderness in his tone.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, I’m sure.” Adam greeted them, taking Molly’s hand and kissing the back of it softly, his eyes on hers all the while. She met his gaze and would not look away. This woman was not a demure, shy, shrinking violet. Nor was she the coy, flirtatious type. Adam deemed her the perfect match for Edge immediately.
“Not that we don’t like all of the formalities, Lord Clayton..." Guggi interrupted, his distrust and dislike evident in his tone and the rigid posture of his body. “…But we’ve little time or patience at the moment.”
“Ahh… we’re looking for Bono, Adam. Would you happen to have seen him?” Edge asked, shooting Guggi a scolding glance. Adam smiled and wrapped an arm around Edge’s slender shoulders, slapping the man on the back.
“I’m not offended, Edge. I wouldn’t trust me, either, if I didn’t know me so well.” He laughed, guiding Edge, the others all moving to follow without needing invitation, into the sitting room. Bono was leaning against the window frame staring out into the gray December afternoon. Carra sat at a nearby table, her feet propped up on the table, her chair tipped back precariously.
“You’ve some company. Should I tell them you’re not accepting visitors?” Adam asked playfully, and as Bono turned to respond, his face lit up at the sight of them. He hurried to embrace Edge, kissing him on the cheek and patting his back roughly with his heavy hands. He had been nearly convinced that Edge was never going to want to see him again. Certain that he would blame Bono for what had been done to Molly. Bono certainly blamed himself.
“Alright, alright…” Edge laughed. “It’s only been a few hours, you know!” His green eyes sparkled with emotion as Bono stepped back, smiling sheepishly.
“It’s been a long night.” He said, and Edge nodded silently. The evidence of that was clear on his face, his eyes sunken and hollow. “Molly!” Bono said, stepping forward to greet her with as much enthusiasm and, thankfully for her, a bit less force. She smiled at her old friend and kissed him chastely on the mouth.
“It’s been a bit longer since we’ve seen each other.” She said, one hand resting on her firm, round belly thoughtlessly. She saw the surprise and pain that flashed in Bono’s eyes when he followed her hand with his eyes.
“Oh, Molly! Oh, I’m so sorry.” He told her, his shoulders slumping defeatedly.
“Don’t be daft, it’s not your fault.” She told him gently.
“I would’ve been keeping an eye on your father even if I’d never met you. Bob was a good man.” She told him.
“But they wouldn’t have attacked either of you if it weren’t for me.” Bono told her softly, guilt wrapping around him like a shroud.
“Oh, you know that for a fact, do you? If you had never once acted out against the crown or the church, if you were a model limey citizen, you think this wouldn’t have happened? If you didn’t say it first, it still would need to be said, and I know for a fact it would be this one who said it.” Here, she took Edge’s hand in both of hers and gently nudged his shoulder. Edge smiled meekly in acknowledgement. “Don’t ever be sorry for standing up for yourself and for what’s important to you.” Molly scolded Bono.
“I love ya, Molly.” Bono told her, his voice shaking with what might have been either laughter or tears. Perhaps a little of both.
“Heaven help me.” Molly teased, rolling her eyes playfully and earning a chuckle from the men.
“Thanks for taking off and leaving without letting me know why or where you went off to.” Gavin spoke up when the room fell silent.
“Sorry. I was feeling pretty shite this morning, but thinking a bit more clearly. I realized Adam had lots of room and knew I’d be better off here for a bit.” Bono replied, leaving Carra out of it completely, for which she was grateful. Her health and welfare was none of their business as far as she was concerned.
“I see, my hospitality isn’t good enough for you these days.” Gavin joked.
“At the very least I knew it would smell a hell of a lot better here.” Bono added with a grin. “Or it did until you arrived.” This resulted in the men wrestling playfully until they nearly knocked Carra out of her seat.
“Oi, that’s enough!” She told them, her voice loud and forceful enough to be heard over the men’s playful sounds. They stopped and looked at her, grinning sheepishly as she scolded them. “It’s no wonder most people with money wouldn’t want ye in their houses, if’n yer gonna act like that!” she told them, and the men mumbled in amused agreement.
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing Carra’s here. I don’t think I could ever have made myself heard over all o’that.” Fiona said, her entrance into the room having gone unnoticed with all of the commotion. Adam made all of the introductions once again.
“Well, now that everyone is here, what say we sit down and talk about what we came here to address.” Edge said, eager to get down to the business. Carra’s heart ached as she looked around at the group of friends and told herself that everyone was there. There was one voice her ears kept searching for, one face her eyes sought in the crowd, one presence she was terribly aware was missing. But he wasn’t coming. This was everyone who would be there.
She had let her aching pride and broken heart lead her into a life without him in it.
**************************************************************
It hadn’t taken long for Adam’s generosity of spirit to win Gavin and Guggi over. Perhaps it was his generosity of wine, food and tobacco that actually did most of the convincing. Either way, the motley crew was soon settled into the Clayton home and were clearly welcome to stay on. Adam loved having the company, a natural born host as he was, and the purpose of their presence was compelling.
It was decided that Edge and Molly would be wed as they had hoped to, not letting the British army deter them from something so important to them both. They agreed that it would be best if they did so as quickly and quietly as possible, as well. That way Bono could actually be present without putting them in superfluous danger.
Adam was eager to host the Christmas eve wedding in his family home, and no amount of arguing was going to convince him otherwise. Just so long as Adam had it to give, the house was theirs to use. The more serious issues of discussion revolved around Bono’s safety, as well as the worsening state of oppression of the Irish Catholics by the British rule.
“The taxes are ridiculous, you can’t transport anything along the roads leading out of Dublin in any direction without being levied substantially. Even the scrap this one calls art.” Gavin said, nudging Guggi playfully. Guggi made a rude gesture at his friend and continued without any further acknowledgement.
“If they have any reason to dislike someone, all they need to do is accuse the man of treason. They don’t bother waiting for any higher judgement on that one, they execute the accused themselves.” He said, shaking his head in disgust.
“Treason is exactly what they’re going to charge you with, if they ever catch you, you know. No more being locked up in some prison somewhere with some small glimmer of hope that we’ll manage to get you out somehow.” Gavin told Bono, his face losing all hint of humor.
“And what are you suggesting I do about it? Run?” Bono asked. “Deny everything I’ve ever believed in? I’m not afraid to die. I know sooner or later I’m going to meet my maker.”
“Are you ready to die now, though? Running doesn’t make you a coward. Not when facing this sort of enemy.” Carra spoke up.
“Well, I’d rather have a bit more time here.” Bono replied with a chuckle. “But I’m not sure I’m ready to run. Especially not leaving behind people I care about. I can’t leave my friends and family under the thumb of the tyrants who would kill a man just for speaking his mind.”
“And that is why, whatever you choose, wherever you choose to be, I will follow.” Edge told him, and Molly nodded in agreement.
“I was thinking…” Bono announced, standing and pacing the room, absently reaching out to run his fingertips over the paneling on the walls, brushing dust off of the paintings and mantle.
“We all know how it ends when Bono’s been thinking.” Gavin quipped, earning a nervous chuckle.
“…I was thinking…” Bono continued, smirking at his friends tease. “They take and take, whatever they want without recourse or concern. I think it’s time someone started to take back.”
“What?”
“There’s no way to afford them the sort of loss they have cost us, but I say we start taking back what is ours.” Bono told them, leaning on the table, palms down, his eyes moving from the face of one person to the next, making sure each of them knew he was not joking.
“Bono, I understand you want revenge for what was done to your father…” Molly started, but Bono interrupted quickly.
“I’m not looking for revenge. I – God knows there’s a big part of me that would gladly kill the bastards for they did to you, but it won’t make anything better. I can’t sink to that sort of senseless violence. I don’t want to become a monster in order to fight one.”
“Then what is this about?”
“Justice. Charity. Hope.” Bono said, gesturing animatedly again. “It’s about taking care of the people who are suffering. If, in doing that, we get to strike out at the crown a bit… I won’t deny that I like that possibility. But that’s secondary to the purpose.”
They sat for several long moments in silence, contemplating Bono’s suggestion.
“We’ll need to plan. It’s not going to be a quick process, or an easy one.” Edge said, looking his mate in the eyes and staring him down. He looked for some sign that Bono was in the least bit uncertain about this course of action, but found none.
“All right. Let’s play Robin Hood, then, shall we?” He said, and Bono grinned in response. He knew once Edge was on board, they would be capable of doing just about anything.
*************************************************************
Carra sat in front of the dressing table trying to run a brush through her mass of red tangled curls, cursing with every stroke. Freshly bathed and changed into a clean night shirt, she stared at the image in the mirror hardly believing it was herself she was looking at. She had never spent a great deal of time gazing into a mirror, but it must have been years since she really looked at herself.
“I thought someone was torturing you in here!” Bono exclaimed from the doorway, laughing when he saw her struggling with the brush.
“Might as well have been.” Carra complained, scowling at his reflection in the mirror. Bono simply smirked at her vexation and moved to stand behind her, holding out his hand for the brush. She looked at him through eye narrowed in suspicion but handed the brush over.
“Are you feeling better tonight, then, than this morning?” He asked as he started gently brushing her hair, using his fingers to work through the curls first. Carra made a wordless sound of pleasant surprise, closing her eyes and relaxing under his care.
“Much. I told you, I’ll be fine.” She replied, yawning as his ministrations soothed her into a drowsy state.
“Larry doesn’t know, does he?” Bono asked, continuing to run fingers and brush through her hair.
“Know what?” She asked, her jaw flexing at the mention of his name.
“That you’re carrying his child.” Carra’s eyes snapped open and she swung her head around to face him, wincing as she pulled her own hair in the process.
“Why do you think that?” She asked, and Bono smiled sadly at her.
“I’ve friends with children. I’ve seen the signs before. The nausea in the morning, the cravings later in the day. The fatigue, the mood swings.”
“I haven’t had mood swings!” Carra objected, offended at the accusation. She turned away from him again, crossing her arms over her chest like a pouting child. Bono bit his lip in an attempt to hide his amusement, and Carra sighed defeatedly.
“No, he doesn’t know. I wasn’t certain myself until the very day he told me about his ‘arrangement’.” She informed her friend. “I don’t want him to marry me and resent me because of this child.”
“Don’t you think he has the right to know that he has a child?” Bono asked as he resumed the task of brushing through her soft hair.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” She admitted, and the pair fell silent for a long moment, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Tell me about your father.” Carra asked, shaking Bono out of his thoughts.
“What?” He asked, frowning down at her in shock. “Why?”
“You were thinking about him, weren’t you?” She asked, taking the brush from Bono’s hand and setting it on the table. She stood and looked him in his shockingly blue eyes and saw the struggle inside of him.
“You’d better be careful about whose thoughts you go around reading. There are some people who would take exception to you intruding into their minds.” He teased, but Carra was not going to let him joke and charm his way out. Bono sighed and moved to sit on the corner of the bed, gesturing for her to sit beside him.
“I was wondering if my own father would have been better off, without me.” He admitted. “And what his choice might have been, if given one.”
“Are you an only child?”
“No, no. I’ve an older brother. The one who came to take care of the funeral, remember Guggi mentioned that?”
“Oh, right.” Carra nodded.
“He’s a lot like my old man. I was always – different. They never seemed to need words. Or other people, even. You know how much I like to talk.” He laughed a little and Carra smiled sweetly at him. “and I can’t stand to be alone. I need people. He didn’t.”
“That’s not true. Everyone needs other people.”
“He didn’t seem to believe that.”
Bono sighed and lay back on the bed, his arm bent above his head, one knee bent. He rubbed his belly idly with the other hand, a mindless gesture that Carra couldn’t help but find endearing.
“He loved the opera.” He said, changing course dramatically in his reflection upon his father and surprising Carra. “We couldn’t afford to go, not to the good productions. But he would stand outside and listen. I still remember his face as he would strain his ears searching for the music over the sounds of the crowd and the street. That’s where I got my music, listening to try and hear what it was my father loved so much.”
“You sing to try and get him to listen to you. The way he didn’t seem to when you talked.”
“Yeah. I think that’s true.” He agreed, looking over at Carra with a sad smile as she lay on her side next to him on the bed, resting her head against her arm like a pillow.
“I wish our last parting had not been so bitter.” He commented softly. “The last words we exchanged were spoken in anger. He told me to piss off.” He laughed bitterly at the memory, and Carra instinctively reached out to brush away the teardrop that streaked down his face.
“I’m sorry.” She told him, her own heart aching at the memory of her parting with Larry.
“The thing is, I guess, I always knew I could come back to him. Even if we didn’t agree on things, he was my anchor. I wasn’t so alone in the world, knowing that.”
“I think… when it comes down to it, we’re all alone in this world.” Carra told him, her hand lingering on his stubbled cheek. “But, Bono… I don’t think you, of all people, will ever be alone. You have so many people who love and respect you. Your spirit is like a magnet, drawing them to you.”
“Just not the one’s I want most.” He joked bitterly, rolling over onto his side to mirror her position. “I’m sorry, about that night in the barn. I was drunk, and… I get a little too friendly when I’ve had too much.”
“Oh, you should be sorry.” She told him sarcastically. “It was sheer torture, being kissed passionately by a handsome, caring friend.” He chuckled in relief, smiling back at her.
“I could stay, tonight. If you want.” He offered more seriously, and Carra shook her head.
“As much as I would like to take comfort in your arms, we are not alone.” She replied, her hand moving to cover her still flat belly.
“He does not deserve you.” Bono told her with a kiss to the cheek.
“I know.” She joked as he rose from the bed. “Bono?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you." He replied with a slight bow as he stepped out the door, closing it behind himself.
On the rising tide Chapter 19
Not long after Carra and Bono’s arrival, there was another knock at the front door. This one Adam could not help but hear. He answered the door, strapping on his scabbard and sword cautiously. The loud, impatient nature of the pounding gave everyone who heard it pause.
“Can I help you?” Adam asked, eyeing the two rather suspicious men who stood on the top step when he opened the door.
“I certainly hope so.” A familiar voice replied, coming from one of the people standing at the foot of the stairs, drawing Adam’s attention.
“Edge!” He greeted the man with a toothy grin. “Come in, come in!” He told them all with a wave. He smiled politely at the pretty young woman on Edge’s arm, taking her cloak for her and hanging it on the rack near the door. The surprise in his eyes when he saw her condition was barely noticeable, and Edge was thankful that he made no mention of it.
“Adam, this is Gavin Friday, and this is Guggi. Two of Bono’s oldest mates, and friends to me as well.” He told him, introducing the strangers quickly and turning to the woman with love in his eyes. “And this is my Molly.” He told him, his possessive words softened by the tenderness in his tone.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, I’m sure.” Adam greeted them, taking Molly’s hand and kissing the back of it softly, his eyes on hers all the while. She met his gaze and would not look away. This woman was not a demure, shy, shrinking violet. Nor was she the coy, flirtatious type. Adam deemed her the perfect match for Edge immediately.
“Not that we don’t like all of the formalities, Lord Clayton..." Guggi interrupted, his distrust and dislike evident in his tone and the rigid posture of his body. “…But we’ve little time or patience at the moment.”
“Ahh… we’re looking for Bono, Adam. Would you happen to have seen him?” Edge asked, shooting Guggi a scolding glance. Adam smiled and wrapped an arm around Edge’s slender shoulders, slapping the man on the back.
“I’m not offended, Edge. I wouldn’t trust me, either, if I didn’t know me so well.” He laughed, guiding Edge, the others all moving to follow without needing invitation, into the sitting room. Bono was leaning against the window frame staring out into the gray December afternoon. Carra sat at a nearby table, her feet propped up on the table, her chair tipped back precariously.
“You’ve some company. Should I tell them you’re not accepting visitors?” Adam asked playfully, and as Bono turned to respond, his face lit up at the sight of them. He hurried to embrace Edge, kissing him on the cheek and patting his back roughly with his heavy hands. He had been nearly convinced that Edge was never going to want to see him again. Certain that he would blame Bono for what had been done to Molly. Bono certainly blamed himself.
“Alright, alright…” Edge laughed. “It’s only been a few hours, you know!” His green eyes sparkled with emotion as Bono stepped back, smiling sheepishly.
“It’s been a long night.” He said, and Edge nodded silently. The evidence of that was clear on his face, his eyes sunken and hollow. “Molly!” Bono said, stepping forward to greet her with as much enthusiasm and, thankfully for her, a bit less force. She smiled at her old friend and kissed him chastely on the mouth.
“It’s been a bit longer since we’ve seen each other.” She said, one hand resting on her firm, round belly thoughtlessly. She saw the surprise and pain that flashed in Bono’s eyes when he followed her hand with his eyes.
“Oh, Molly! Oh, I’m so sorry.” He told her, his shoulders slumping defeatedly.
“Don’t be daft, it’s not your fault.” She told him gently.
“I would’ve been keeping an eye on your father even if I’d never met you. Bob was a good man.” She told him.
“But they wouldn’t have attacked either of you if it weren’t for me.” Bono told her softly, guilt wrapping around him like a shroud.
“Oh, you know that for a fact, do you? If you had never once acted out against the crown or the church, if you were a model limey citizen, you think this wouldn’t have happened? If you didn’t say it first, it still would need to be said, and I know for a fact it would be this one who said it.” Here, she took Edge’s hand in both of hers and gently nudged his shoulder. Edge smiled meekly in acknowledgement. “Don’t ever be sorry for standing up for yourself and for what’s important to you.” Molly scolded Bono.
“I love ya, Molly.” Bono told her, his voice shaking with what might have been either laughter or tears. Perhaps a little of both.
“Heaven help me.” Molly teased, rolling her eyes playfully and earning a chuckle from the men.
“Thanks for taking off and leaving without letting me know why or where you went off to.” Gavin spoke up when the room fell silent.
“Sorry. I was feeling pretty shite this morning, but thinking a bit more clearly. I realized Adam had lots of room and knew I’d be better off here for a bit.” Bono replied, leaving Carra out of it completely, for which she was grateful. Her health and welfare was none of their business as far as she was concerned.
“I see, my hospitality isn’t good enough for you these days.” Gavin joked.
“At the very least I knew it would smell a hell of a lot better here.” Bono added with a grin. “Or it did until you arrived.” This resulted in the men wrestling playfully until they nearly knocked Carra out of her seat.
“Oi, that’s enough!” She told them, her voice loud and forceful enough to be heard over the men’s playful sounds. They stopped and looked at her, grinning sheepishly as she scolded them. “It’s no wonder most people with money wouldn’t want ye in their houses, if’n yer gonna act like that!” she told them, and the men mumbled in amused agreement.
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing Carra’s here. I don’t think I could ever have made myself heard over all o’that.” Fiona said, her entrance into the room having gone unnoticed with all of the commotion. Adam made all of the introductions once again.
“Well, now that everyone is here, what say we sit down and talk about what we came here to address.” Edge said, eager to get down to the business. Carra’s heart ached as she looked around at the group of friends and told herself that everyone was there. There was one voice her ears kept searching for, one face her eyes sought in the crowd, one presence she was terribly aware was missing. But he wasn’t coming. This was everyone who would be there.
She had let her aching pride and broken heart lead her into a life without him in it.
**************************************************************
It hadn’t taken long for Adam’s generosity of spirit to win Gavin and Guggi over. Perhaps it was his generosity of wine, food and tobacco that actually did most of the convincing. Either way, the motley crew was soon settled into the Clayton home and were clearly welcome to stay on. Adam loved having the company, a natural born host as he was, and the purpose of their presence was compelling.
It was decided that Edge and Molly would be wed as they had hoped to, not letting the British army deter them from something so important to them both. They agreed that it would be best if they did so as quickly and quietly as possible, as well. That way Bono could actually be present without putting them in superfluous danger.
Adam was eager to host the Christmas eve wedding in his family home, and no amount of arguing was going to convince him otherwise. Just so long as Adam had it to give, the house was theirs to use. The more serious issues of discussion revolved around Bono’s safety, as well as the worsening state of oppression of the Irish Catholics by the British rule.
“The taxes are ridiculous, you can’t transport anything along the roads leading out of Dublin in any direction without being levied substantially. Even the scrap this one calls art.” Gavin said, nudging Guggi playfully. Guggi made a rude gesture at his friend and continued without any further acknowledgement.
“If they have any reason to dislike someone, all they need to do is accuse the man of treason. They don’t bother waiting for any higher judgement on that one, they execute the accused themselves.” He said, shaking his head in disgust.
“Treason is exactly what they’re going to charge you with, if they ever catch you, you know. No more being locked up in some prison somewhere with some small glimmer of hope that we’ll manage to get you out somehow.” Gavin told Bono, his face losing all hint of humor.
“And what are you suggesting I do about it? Run?” Bono asked. “Deny everything I’ve ever believed in? I’m not afraid to die. I know sooner or later I’m going to meet my maker.”
“Are you ready to die now, though? Running doesn’t make you a coward. Not when facing this sort of enemy.” Carra spoke up.
“Well, I’d rather have a bit more time here.” Bono replied with a chuckle. “But I’m not sure I’m ready to run. Especially not leaving behind people I care about. I can’t leave my friends and family under the thumb of the tyrants who would kill a man just for speaking his mind.”
“And that is why, whatever you choose, wherever you choose to be, I will follow.” Edge told him, and Molly nodded in agreement.
“I was thinking…” Bono announced, standing and pacing the room, absently reaching out to run his fingertips over the paneling on the walls, brushing dust off of the paintings and mantle.
“We all know how it ends when Bono’s been thinking.” Gavin quipped, earning a nervous chuckle.
“…I was thinking…” Bono continued, smirking at his friends tease. “They take and take, whatever they want without recourse or concern. I think it’s time someone started to take back.”
“What?”
“There’s no way to afford them the sort of loss they have cost us, but I say we start taking back what is ours.” Bono told them, leaning on the table, palms down, his eyes moving from the face of one person to the next, making sure each of them knew he was not joking.
“Bono, I understand you want revenge for what was done to your father…” Molly started, but Bono interrupted quickly.
“I’m not looking for revenge. I – God knows there’s a big part of me that would gladly kill the bastards for they did to you, but it won’t make anything better. I can’t sink to that sort of senseless violence. I don’t want to become a monster in order to fight one.”
“Then what is this about?”
“Justice. Charity. Hope.” Bono said, gesturing animatedly again. “It’s about taking care of the people who are suffering. If, in doing that, we get to strike out at the crown a bit… I won’t deny that I like that possibility. But that’s secondary to the purpose.”
They sat for several long moments in silence, contemplating Bono’s suggestion.
“We’ll need to plan. It’s not going to be a quick process, or an easy one.” Edge said, looking his mate in the eyes and staring him down. He looked for some sign that Bono was in the least bit uncertain about this course of action, but found none.
“All right. Let’s play Robin Hood, then, shall we?” He said, and Bono grinned in response. He knew once Edge was on board, they would be capable of doing just about anything.
*************************************************************
Carra sat in front of the dressing table trying to run a brush through her mass of red tangled curls, cursing with every stroke. Freshly bathed and changed into a clean night shirt, she stared at the image in the mirror hardly believing it was herself she was looking at. She had never spent a great deal of time gazing into a mirror, but it must have been years since she really looked at herself.
“I thought someone was torturing you in here!” Bono exclaimed from the doorway, laughing when he saw her struggling with the brush.
“Might as well have been.” Carra complained, scowling at his reflection in the mirror. Bono simply smirked at her vexation and moved to stand behind her, holding out his hand for the brush. She looked at him through eye narrowed in suspicion but handed the brush over.
“Are you feeling better tonight, then, than this morning?” He asked as he started gently brushing her hair, using his fingers to work through the curls first. Carra made a wordless sound of pleasant surprise, closing her eyes and relaxing under his care.
“Much. I told you, I’ll be fine.” She replied, yawning as his ministrations soothed her into a drowsy state.
“Larry doesn’t know, does he?” Bono asked, continuing to run fingers and brush through her hair.
“Know what?” She asked, her jaw flexing at the mention of his name.
“That you’re carrying his child.” Carra’s eyes snapped open and she swung her head around to face him, wincing as she pulled her own hair in the process.
“Why do you think that?” She asked, and Bono smiled sadly at her.
“I’ve friends with children. I’ve seen the signs before. The nausea in the morning, the cravings later in the day. The fatigue, the mood swings.”
“I haven’t had mood swings!” Carra objected, offended at the accusation. She turned away from him again, crossing her arms over her chest like a pouting child. Bono bit his lip in an attempt to hide his amusement, and Carra sighed defeatedly.
“No, he doesn’t know. I wasn’t certain myself until the very day he told me about his ‘arrangement’.” She informed her friend. “I don’t want him to marry me and resent me because of this child.”
“Don’t you think he has the right to know that he has a child?” Bono asked as he resumed the task of brushing through her soft hair.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” She admitted, and the pair fell silent for a long moment, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Tell me about your father.” Carra asked, shaking Bono out of his thoughts.
“What?” He asked, frowning down at her in shock. “Why?”
“You were thinking about him, weren’t you?” She asked, taking the brush from Bono’s hand and setting it on the table. She stood and looked him in his shockingly blue eyes and saw the struggle inside of him.
“You’d better be careful about whose thoughts you go around reading. There are some people who would take exception to you intruding into their minds.” He teased, but Carra was not going to let him joke and charm his way out. Bono sighed and moved to sit on the corner of the bed, gesturing for her to sit beside him.
“I was wondering if my own father would have been better off, without me.” He admitted. “And what his choice might have been, if given one.”
“Are you an only child?”
“No, no. I’ve an older brother. The one who came to take care of the funeral, remember Guggi mentioned that?”
“Oh, right.” Carra nodded.
“He’s a lot like my old man. I was always – different. They never seemed to need words. Or other people, even. You know how much I like to talk.” He laughed a little and Carra smiled sweetly at him. “and I can’t stand to be alone. I need people. He didn’t.”
“That’s not true. Everyone needs other people.”
“He didn’t seem to believe that.”
Bono sighed and lay back on the bed, his arm bent above his head, one knee bent. He rubbed his belly idly with the other hand, a mindless gesture that Carra couldn’t help but find endearing.
“He loved the opera.” He said, changing course dramatically in his reflection upon his father and surprising Carra. “We couldn’t afford to go, not to the good productions. But he would stand outside and listen. I still remember his face as he would strain his ears searching for the music over the sounds of the crowd and the street. That’s where I got my music, listening to try and hear what it was my father loved so much.”
“You sing to try and get him to listen to you. The way he didn’t seem to when you talked.”
“Yeah. I think that’s true.” He agreed, looking over at Carra with a sad smile as she lay on her side next to him on the bed, resting her head against her arm like a pillow.
“I wish our last parting had not been so bitter.” He commented softly. “The last words we exchanged were spoken in anger. He told me to piss off.” He laughed bitterly at the memory, and Carra instinctively reached out to brush away the teardrop that streaked down his face.
“I’m sorry.” She told him, her own heart aching at the memory of her parting with Larry.
“The thing is, I guess, I always knew I could come back to him. Even if we didn’t agree on things, he was my anchor. I wasn’t so alone in the world, knowing that.”
“I think… when it comes down to it, we’re all alone in this world.” Carra told him, her hand lingering on his stubbled cheek. “But, Bono… I don’t think you, of all people, will ever be alone. You have so many people who love and respect you. Your spirit is like a magnet, drawing them to you.”
“Just not the one’s I want most.” He joked bitterly, rolling over onto his side to mirror her position. “I’m sorry, about that night in the barn. I was drunk, and… I get a little too friendly when I’ve had too much.”
“Oh, you should be sorry.” She told him sarcastically. “It was sheer torture, being kissed passionately by a handsome, caring friend.” He chuckled in relief, smiling back at her.
“I could stay, tonight. If you want.” He offered more seriously, and Carra shook her head.
“As much as I would like to take comfort in your arms, we are not alone.” She replied, her hand moving to cover her still flat belly.
“He does not deserve you.” Bono told her with a kiss to the cheek.
“I know.” She joked as he rose from the bed. “Bono?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you." He replied with a slight bow as he stepped out the door, closing it behind himself.
great chapter as always
