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Old 11-24-2001, 01:45 AM   #1
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Edge Seeks Professional Help

The sign on the door says, "Dr. Echo - Licensed Psychotherapist and Pimpstress."

ECHO: Have a seat, Mr. Edge.
EDGE: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
ECHO: So tell me about this problem you've been having
EDGE: Well it's just that my bandmates, they're always saying things that...embarrass me.
ECHO: And this has become a serious problem?
EDGE: It seems like all I ever do is blush, anymore.
ECHO: And screw.
EDGE: *blush* What?!
ECHO: Never mind. Anyway, go on.
EDGE: I just heard that your technique is very effective.
ECHO: Oh absolutely. Frankly with my methods I'll surely blow you...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...away, it's really astounding. But we'll have to make this session quick. In an hour is when I usually get off...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...work. But I am certain that when this hour is up you'll be guaranteed to go to bed tonight with a broad...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...smile on your face. So tell me...oh, before we get started would you do me...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...a favor? Switch that light on, could you?
EDGE: Oh, sure, sure...Em, it doesn't seem to be working.
ECHO: Hmm...well, try sticking this in.
EDGE: *blush* WHAT?
ECHO: This light bulb. All you have to do is screw...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...it in. Ah, there we go. So anyway, let me get this straight. You're easily embarrassed, and it's too hard for you...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...to come...
EDGE: *blush*
ECHO: ...up with a solution to this problem?
EDGE: Pretty much.
ECHO: Okay well let's get started then. Edge?
EDGE: Yeah?
ECHO: Look me in the eye.
EDGE: Em, okay...*he looks at her*
ECHO: Edge, your sexy body makes me so horny, I just want to throw you on the ground right here and now, rip your clothes off, and f*ck you so hard you won't be able to walk tomorrow.

*Edge stares at Echo wide-eyed. For a full fifteen seconds his jaw hangs open and he is struck dumb.*

*But he does not blush.*

*Echo smiles.*

EDGE: What was that about?
ECHO: Well you see, your problem arose from the fact that all these supposedly dirty things people said were just misinterpreted. There was really nothing filthy about them at all. All you needed was for someone to say something to incontestably obscene that it couldn't possibly be construed as anything but dirty. It would shock the embarrassment right out of you. You'd be so stunned you'd literally forget to be mortified.
EDGE: Wow...so...*gets up* am I cured?
ECHO: *Chuckles as she leads Edge to the door* Oh, only until Mona writes another script, my dear.


------------------
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Old 11-24-2001, 02:15 AM   #2
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Holy smoldering crap...

My virgin *scoff* ears...er, eyes!!

I...I....

I can't think of anything to say....(whaddya want? It's 12:12 AM!!!)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go be haunted by my ghost now...



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Old 11-24-2001, 12:05 PM   #3
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EDGE: *leaving the office* Well, that was certainly an enlightening experience....*rides home on his bicycle, like in PeeWee's Big Adventure*

*walks up to the door* (In Mona's mind, Bono, Edge, Larry, and Adam all live in one house.)

Feck it all to heck...I must've forgot me key somewhere...

ECHO: *is making numerous copies of Edge's keys* Heheheh

EDGE: Hello? *knocks on door*

He can hear the other guys talking inside

BONO: Feck, Larry, help me bump it.

LARRY: I don't know how!

BONO: Liar. YES you do. I'm sure you've done this kind of thing before.

LARRY: What's that supposed to mean?

BONO: Listen, don't get mad, Lawrence...I'm just saying that you seem like the kind of guy who might have done this before. I can't really explain why....

EDGE WTF is going on?

ADAM: Amateurs....

BONO: What, do YOU know how to bump it?

ADAM: Of course I do.

BONO: Well, could you help us out here?

ADAM: Yer on yer own, buckos.

LARRY: Feck. I don't have time for this. Listen, maybe it's just broken.

EDGE: ????????

BONO: O what do you know?

LARRY: Sometimes it happens! It'll just stop working for no good reason.

BONO: Well, how can we fix it? Can we buy something to fix it?

LARRY: It's probably easier to do it yerself.

BONO: I don't think I can....

LARRY: So you can save the world, but you can't just do this one little thing?

BONO: ...it's not...THAT little....

EDGE: ?????

LARRY: Well it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

BONO: One man's trash....

LARRY: I'd hardly call it a treasure.

BONO: Feck.

LARRY: Feck to you, too.

BONO: What did you say about U2?

LARRY: What?

BONO: Listen, maybe something's just loose in it.

LARRY: Is that possible?

BONO: Well....maybe we just need to screw...

EDGE: *bluuuuuussssshhhhhh*

LARRY: We already did, didn't we? The other day...with Edge.

BONO: Well, you can never screw too much, I think.

LARRY: Wanker. Listen, what're these things?

BONO: Bootins? You wouldn't know anything about that.

LARRY: What's that supposed to mean?

BONO: Listen, I don't want to fight, Lawrence. All I'm saying is that with you prancing about with half a shirt....

MULLENGIRL: *from far away* HOO-AH!!!!!

BONO: ...it's quite funny...you never have your bootins done.

LARRY: ....so?

BONO: Sew buttons. So NOTHING. I guess it doesn't really matter because you're always back there just bangin' away, yer stick in hand, and it's kinda hard--

EDGE: *blush* *faint* *thud*

BONO: ....to see from far away that's you're half nekkid....did you hear something outside.

*they go outside and find Edge, red as his 7 shirt, passed out in the shrubbery*

LARRY: Look, Edge is home. He can help us screw now.

BONO: And bump!!.....the thread I mean. *looks at PLEBA girls* We couldn't figure out how to use PLEBA....what did you THINK we were talking about?

LARRY: Wankers.....

In 2001 Edge won a Nobel Prize in Science for his development of a new power source: blushing

------------------
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Old 11-24-2001, 03:48 PM   #4
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BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! That's funny

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*MG shows Larry poster*
*Larry reads poster*
*Larry smiles and says "Thank you that's very nice of you"*
*Larry signs paper, shakes MG's hand*
*MG almost dies then sees tearaway pants and gets bad ideas*
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Old 11-27-2001, 06:12 PM   #5
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LMAO, echo!!

and, mona...

Quote:
Originally posted by WildHonee:
EDGE: *leaving the office* Well, that was certainly an enlightening experience....*rides home on his bicycle, like in PeeWee's Big Adventure*
LMAO!!! i can DEFINATELY pictuer that!!! awwww! edgie~pie!

Quote:
*walks up to the door* (In Mona's mind, Bono, Edge, Larry, and Adam all live in one house.)
they don't?


Quote:
ADAM: Amateurs....

***

BONO: ...it's not...THAT little....

***

BONO: Feck.

LARRY: Feck to you, too.

BONO: What did you say about U2?

LARRY: What?

***

LARRY: Wankers.....
LMFAO!!

~hooleeah*

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Old 11-28-2001, 03:25 PM   #6
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That would be SO FUN if they all lived in one big house.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, capable of scandalizing ScottPhisto with AngelinaLips....
97% compatible with Bono

Proud Owner of the one and only Bon Jovi soap caddy

Love me, give me soul.

The PLEBA Mansion, where the play's the thing...
http://www.geocities.com/kiti_regia/plebamansion

For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono! ~Echo~
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