The Heart Overshadows the Mind

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LCK

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The Heart Overshadows the Mind

I loved you with an innocence
And a fierceness that rendered me
Something I did not like,
Someone vulnerable and weak,
Someone needy and fearful.

My heart overshadowed my mind
and I could not think logically.
I could not see what I was doing,
I could not hear what you were saying,
I rewrote the script in my mind to mold
You into the ideal you were not.

I gave you everything I could,
Freely, sincerely, hopefully,
And in return I was happy to get
The crumbs from your buffet,
Anything I could cling to
And call it love.

My heart overshadowed my mind
and I could not act rationally.
I could not see what you were doing,
I could not hear what I was saying,
I rewrote fact and made it fiction,
A fiction I wanted to believe in.

Then by chance or fate or design
The epiphany occured, the moment of truth,
And my mind cleared, my heart sighed.
And I could see clearly, painfully clearly,
Both past and present
And I felt ashamed,
Ashamed of what I had become,
Ashamed of what I had accepted,
Ashamed of what I had risked
Ashamed of what I had tolerated
All because my heart overshadowed my mind.

You never loved me as I loved you.
You never cherished me as I cherished you.
You never put me first as I put you first
And with both of us putting you first
There was no-one looking out for me,
Not even my own traitorous mind,
Overshadowed by my heart.

And I am free now, free to heal
And to someday love again
To love with a wiser heart,
A heart that will realize that true love
Is mind, body, and soul
And not an empty script played
By the lonely or the desperate
And not a fiction enacted
By the idealistic and the naive
So you have taught me well
And I can let go of my bitterness
And my shame in being human
And wish you to find such a love as well.

Laurie
 
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