my first song

[VertigoGal]

Yeah, I was flippin thru the channels, must've been half past three
Just wonderin' what you'd say now if you could only see me
Picturing how we used to do on those chilly nights like this
You'd be strokin my hair with those gentle hands, plantin on my head a kiss
And I flipped off the TV and saw myself in the screen
And I realized I didn't know this person in place of me
Well, right then I could barely manage to meet my own eyes
And staring at myself I saw straight through my own disguise

Well I'd crawl a thousand miles if I could only hear your voice
But this crippled heart of mine, it dont leave me much choice
And you know in my side I'm still carrying this stone
Though it's true that what's torn can't ever be resewn.

Well Ive never been so aware of the blood coursin through my veins
And thinking am I dying, or am I just fadin away?
I closed my eyes and saw the faces of friends long-gone
And is a lie really a sin, or just a truth that turned out wrong?
I don't know how I'm feeling, but I've never felt this way
I thought I heard footsteps, but it was just the rain
And I'm chasing after memories, of conversations past
Well I've got one for a second, but, will it last?

Well I'd crawl a thousand miles if I could only hear your voice
But this crippled heart of mine, it dont leave me much choice
And you know in my side I'm still carrying this stone
Though it's true that what's dead can't ever be regrown.

feedback please! yeah, ive been listening to a lot of bruce springsteen, it kinda shows anyway, all comments are appreciated

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Very well put into words.......

"Well I'd crawl a thousand miles if I could only hear your voice
But this crippled heart of mine, it dont leave me much choice
And you know in my side I'm still carrying this stone
Though it's true that what's torn can't ever be resewn."

My heart has felt crippled many a time.....I often feel heartbreak is one of the most painful of pains....and it need not be a love relationship....my heart hurts when people don't believe in me.

Keep writing......I enjoy reading these works so much.......it makes the mind feel.

carol
wizard2c

 

[wizard2c]

reply

It does have a certain Bruce ring to it. Do you have the "Devils and Dust'?

 

[VertigoGal]

Re: reply

Very well put into words.......

"Well I'd crawl a thousand miles if I could only hear your voice
But this crippled heart of mine, it dont leave me much choice
And you know in my side I'm still carrying this stone
Though it's true that what's torn can't ever be resewn."

My heart has felt crippled many a time.....I often feel heartbreak is one of the most painful of pains....and it need not be a love relationship....my heart hurts when people don't believe in me.

Keep writing......I enjoy reading these works so much.......it makes the mind feel.

carol
wizard2c

thank you. i dont have devils and dust, the only bruce albums i have are his greatest hits, darkness on the edge of town, and born to run (last 2 burned copies from a friend)...i was humming streets of philidelphia though while writing this. and basically stealing half the lyrics it seems like.

i dunno...reading this now, it seems like shit. almost embarrassingly so. i dunno.

i also agree with what you said about relationships. im a little young to have really been in a ton of serious relationships w/ members of the opposite sex , but a lot of what i wrote was from other types of personal experience anyway.

 

[elevation2u]

lol, it reminded me of bruce's lyrics too, glad im not the only one...

good nonetheless

 

[VertigoGal]

lol, it reminded me of bruce's lyrics too, glad im not the only one...

good nonetheless

yeah, in retrospect, that was damn near plagierism. but hell, im not saying its my crowning achievement, and it was a fun little exercise! streets of philidelphias such an awesome, transcendant song for me, it makes me want to write. unfortunately it looks like i borrowed more than a melody. lol still fun to do though

 

[ZeroDude]

Still despite the obvious influence, it's very well done, I feel compelled to say congratulations

 

[VertigoGal]

that's very kind of you

 

[For Honor]

yes, I liked it aas well