I have a severe issue with procrastination

[For Honor]

I shouldn't even be writing this.
But I will try to keep it brief


I don't know what it is, but schoolwork seems so of such little importance. Yes, I am a senior in the 4rth quarter of highschool, and basically have college set up.

But still.... I am becoming everything I hated. Everything I never was... I have far more social mastery than I did years ago, but since two years ago, my work ethic has declined. Somehow, my grades have stayed consistant throughout. But this is an issue, because I know this is something I have control over, and I'm letting myself down every day. I preach maturity and responsability, yet I don't get my work done in an appropriate way. I'm taking college courses and I am acting like a really bad college freshmen who is about to get expelled. (I don't drink or things like that, I just waste time like it's my purpose on earth).

And it makes me mad, because I find other things worthy to do, but the whole time, I know I should be doing something else. It's a willpowerthing, I think, and that disturbs me most....

How have I become the thing I most thouroughly did not want to be? I'm all instinct and intuition, which is fine, but my work ethic is nowhere to be found. I look for motivation deep inside, and I find it, but it doesn't manifest. And that's such BS, because you don't need motivation to do something.

I can't seem connect any value to what I am doing, and I think that is the problem.
I know what to do, and how to do it, I just am not doing it.

Maybe by having written all this, that will be a cue enough for me.




Ugh... I'm sounding like a person that I cannot deal with....

please, be sure to use keywords like "immaturity" in your response if you are kind enough to leave one
Thanks for your time, as always...

(maybe I should take a break from intereference for a few days... or the internet all together)

 

[For Honor]

It's so stupid, too, because it took me such a small amount of time to do the thing I needed to do, and we've had about 3 weeks to do it.

But I have to find a way so that I get it taken care of sooner...


It's such a small and petty thing, petty subject...
But it can easily get out of hand...

 

[dandy]

I just waste time like it's my purpose on earth

"it's never too late to procrastinate"

i wouldn't worry too much. sounds like you've got yourself a bad case of senior-itis, which is perfectly normal. it's your last year of high school. enjoy it.

 

[jerseyhitman12]

There's nothing wrong with you. It's all perfectly natural. Enjoy it. When you get to college, you will definitely re-find your motivation. I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm a college senior who is graduating in May. I can't get anything done either. Even though you may feel disappointed with yourself now, don't let it frazzle you. When I look back on the spring of my senior year, I just remember all the fun I had. You will regain motivation. You're just in a normal stage of school life.

 

[U2democrat]

it's called senioritis.

i've got it baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. people are shocked at how lazy and carefree i've become

 

[For Honor]

Well, thanks

And I hope so.....


It just seems so strange, though, because it's like a psychological thing. I don't really like it.

But at the same time, I know the truth is that what I am doing has very little impact, meaning. And when things are like that, it just turns me off from trying . But then it becomes a question of character and stuff, and I know the choices I can make.




but yes, it is common, a lot of people are talking about it as being a senior. It just bothers me, and it's silly, because I shouldn't concern myself with it.

I know what I'm doing, so I should at least own my actions and accept the consequences..... I whine too much. And I think that is part of the problem, too.


But I guess it is also this deep ingrained notion that I never put forth enough effort... and, what I could be/should be...



But I guess I should just listen to some U2 songs...




...It's just a moment, it's time will pass...