i am evil

[all_i_want]

thats it. i just realized im evil.

what should i do now?

do i revel in my evilness, or do i try to be good?

you'd say 'latter of course, dumbass' but i think thatd just make me hypocrite. if im not already one.

i feel as if the only option for me now is to go out and corrupt innocent souls and make them as evil as myself.

i should preach selfishness and deception, so that all earth's people can backstab those goodie goodies that are walking around (there'll always be a couple)

what can a selfish, evil and inconsiderate guy do?

here are the options, please vote:

a) i could go out with 2 good friends and turn their relationship sour, and then leave them and break their hearts

b)i could go out with this other girl and tell her she's terrible in bed right after we have sex and if we dont, ill just tell it to everyone else.

c) i could employ illegal aliens in my kitchen

d) i could steal cable TV (although i dont need to, since i have satellite, but evilness...)

e) i could steal forks from my neighbors

f) go out with that girl mentioned above, THEN cheat on her with the other 2 girls.


evilness is hard. help me out. i know c and d are not so evil, but hey, theyre options.

which evil act should i undertake.

 

[Mullen4Prez]

b)i could go out with this other girl and tell her she's terrible in bed right after we have sex and if we dont, ill just tell it to everyone else.

 

[sallycinnamon78]

You know... this reminds me very much of Butters trying to become Professor Chaos in South Park.

 

[indra]

If you don't know which evil act to do, how, in the name of all that is evil, can you claim to be truly evil? You're just a poser.

 

[all_i_want]

my evilness is only surpassed by my indecisiveness.

and i believe in liberal democracy, so i opened the decision process to the people! and actually, since you would be accomplices in my evil deeds, im both DOING and SPREADING evil, which is the greatest thing any evil person can do. look how i just stole mullen4prez's soul!

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

e) i could steal forks from my neighbors

 

[all_i_want]

i just claimed another soul.. as my evil empire slowly rises... i will be owner of many forks...

 

[For Honor]

In order to see just how evil you are, stand outside alone for as long as possible.

Or just sit alone in the dark.


Then report to us your results............

 

[all_i_want]

hmm should i do anything when im just sitting? how will i know?

not that there is any doubt about how evil i am

 

[For Honor]

well, you don't seem totally on the dark side, as in, consumed by hate.

Or are you just lying about something?


either to yourself, or to us, I wonder......................?

 

[all_i_want]

oh no, hate is not about being evil. haters are dumb and also blind. being a pragmatist is what evil is all about. everything is good as long as its good for ME. even if its helping old ladies cross the street (arghhh!) or playing games with orphans (grhhshf!), what matters is what floats your boat. hate when its convenient, 'love' when you have to. a successful man always has more enemies than he has friends. cause friends can not be trusted. enemies are always more predictable.

evil is the only way to go, since the good are always such hypocrites and cheats. evil is as honest as someone can get. if i say i am evil, hell, i couldnt be more sincere about my intentions.

the real damage is done by the do-gooders who walk around claiming they are stand for all thats righteous and good in the world. hypocrites. their cries are as fake as the orgasms their wives have in bed.

OK ! IM BACK!

now im pretty sure im totally evil.

 

[For Honor]

I don't disagree with you, believe it or not.


I wouldn't call it evil though.

Maybe just honesty.......


....a lot of times, I feel, people don't know what it means to be honest.........
or they confuse honesty with "honor" or being a saint or goodness.
People, oddly enough, often seem to be afraid of the truth

 

[For Honor]

Especially interesting is an event I've encountered myself:


you try so hard to do the right thing, to be good, that you lie about reality and the results. And you don't really see it as that, but that's what it is.


It's a very twisted thing.


Sort of greys that area between good and evil

 

[all_i_want]

yeah they say color of success is grey, too.

what it all comes down to is pragmatism, eventually. pure hate and being evil for the sake of it is the stupidest and most predictable thing one can do. i pity serial killers. theyre so obvious. they could kill so much more if they were self-righteous gentleman. and the best of us, including devil the dearest, are painted in shades of grey. we know when we should show which face.

 

[For Honor]

pragmatism..... sounds interesting.......

I wonder if that's how I look at things..... I'm always concerned with practicalities........

I just looked it in an online dictinoary- I don't know enough about it, so feel free to educate me.

 

[all_i_want]

pragmatism is the belief that something is only good and true when it is useful for humans. if god is useful (if it restrains people from committing evil deeds) then it is true and good.

people's values, perceptions and opinions are shaped by their personal interests.

smokers claim smoking keeps them in shape, people who like drinking claim alcohol stimulates the mind etc.

good is a matter of perception, and since everyone has different perceptions of a certain subject, all good is subjective. what i view as good is a reflection of my personalisy. what i view as good and true, is what serves my purpose in the most useful manner.

for further reading, i recommend some of bertrand russell's work, and of course machiavelli's prince. he was the epitome of pragmatism.

i hope you found it 'useful'.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

e) i could steal forks from my neighbors

 

[Doozer61]

use your powers for good not evil

 

[stray dog]

looking for a female to be evil with me

 

[myusernamehere]

Option B is truely evil. If you want to be a complete ass, I say go for that one.

 

[For Honor]

hmm..... I wonder if evil is sort of the anti-happy, as

being evil is only determined by how you interact with others.
But real happiness comes from within.


I don't think real evilness comes from within.
Evil is sort of ... a way to describe a relationship.

I'm not sure if it can be used as a noun, or a pronoun, I guess...

 

[all_i_want]

evil is not anti-happy, its a way to get the things that make you happy! its a means to an end, not the end itself. of course if being evil makes you happy by itself, that is when youve reach the virtuous evil cycle. it is a very high ranking in the world of evil.

 

[For Honor]

While there is confidence in taking what you want when you want it, it is always harder to take the time and try to work things out, as opposed to just satisfying your needs.

I'm not saying one is better than the other, though. Depends on what level you are talking about.

 

[all_i_want]

ok, new option:
g) i could leave obscene messages to the that asshole who is banging my now ex-girl.

the only reason i dont hate her is cause she has such a cute smile

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

ok, new option:
g) i could leave obscene messages to the that asshole who is banging my now ex-girl.

the only reason i dont hate her is cause she has such a cute smile

Awesome! Do it! Do it now!

 

[Tania]

Sorry, I don't believe you are evil.

You have Bono as an avatar

You might be one of those nasty little pixies though

 

[For Honor]

ok, new option:
g) i could leave obscene messages to the that asshole who is banging my now ex-girl.

the only reason i dont hate her is cause she has such a cute smile

For some reason, the first time I read that, I thought it said

something like how the reason she is with him is because she has such a cute smile.





For what it's worth, I take relationships seriously, too, and for now, it seems like the best thing is just not getting involved.

It can't be what I want at the moment, so why bother.


That's my mindset...... for now, anyways......

 

[Macfistowannabe]

e) i could steal forks from my neighbors

Sounds pretty logical if you ask me.

Can I join your evil empire?
Am I evil enough?

 

[financeguy]

hate when its convenient, 'love' when you have to. a successful man always has more enemies than he has friends. cause friends can not be trusted. enemies are always more predictable.

You are indeed a true disciple of Machiavelli...

 

[all_i_want]

e) i could steal forks from my neighbors

Sounds pretty logical if you ask me.

Can I join your evil empire?
Am I evil enough?

anyone is welcome in my evil empire, except the goodie goodies trying to convert people. dont worry if you dont feel evil enough, here, we are all expert evil-izers.

we will send you on a couple of assignments, stealing candy from little kids, making people cry, not helping an old blind man crossing the street and laughing at him, stealing an old woman's bread, mocking a mugging victim... after that, if we still feel you have a beating heart, we will make you shout hateful slogans against the teletubbies, until you are totally evil.

but then, you have an impressive resume, i think you will fit in very well

also, about machiavelli.. the guy wrote prince to gain the favor of the medici, and he wrote discourses to gain favor of the republicans (not those ones!).. he was a hypocrite of the highest degree, but he had a good ride.