AtomicBono said:
As for the whole emos seeking attention thing...I can see both sides of the story. I think there are indeed people who cut as some sort of trendy thing, which to me is absolutely disgusting and indeed trivializes those who actually have much deeper issues. So I think that's what MooMoo was trying to say. But not all people who show their scars are those types of people. They may be crying for help but don't know how to just ask someone or explain their problems. Also, even if they are cutting just to be "trendy," there is surely some issue there as well, which is what meegannie was saying. If you think it's okay to hurt yourself just to be part of some emo club, then there is a psychological problem there.
I agree with that. It upsets me when I go into a store like Hot Topic and see razor blades being marketed as
fashionable. I saw a necklace bearing a (completely non-sharp) razor blade as a pendant. The people that mass produce and sell these things to teenagers should be ashamed of themselves.
Some people cut themselves and then show others their scars as a cry for help. I did that when I was younger. I wanted people to see that I was hurting, and maybe try to help me. I wanted them to at the very least show their love for me a little bit more blatantly. I was desperate to be shown that I
was loved, because I was so unsure of it.
But then there are people who cut themselves for the trend. To show how "hardcore" they are or whatever. That take MySpace photos of themselves with mascara tears running down their cheeks and bleeding wrists. This behaviour
is a problem unto itself, but it's a different sort of problem than cutting caused by desperation and self-hate and depression. It's attention-seeking behaviour, and perhaps they just want to be shown that they're cared about as much as I did. But still, it's different than the addictive cutting behaviour exibited by others.
Still, the trendiness and 'cool' factor of cutting disgusts me, because it
does undermine the problem. It makes people shrug it off as just another silly thing teens do for attention, and as a result some of those people crying out for help won't get the help they need. I think this thread has proved that fact on both sides of the argument.
No spoken words said:
She did not want to cut herself...she was not ashamed, per se, but she sure as hell did not want to NEED such a coping mechanism
That's why I stopped. I didn't want to continue to be powerless to such an action.
I think that for me, when I get upset and hate myself and get that urge to hurt myself... the best thing for me would be a distraction, or to physically remove myself from whatever situation has caused me to be upset. If I can just get past the 'red' moment, the moment when I crave the pain, I'll calm down and be fine. But sometimes the distraction is hard to come by.
For those of you wanting to help your friends, probably the best advice is to really be there for them, but that's almost impossible. You can't be there 100% of the time for someone to say "here, take a deep breath, we're gonna go down the street, get some ice cream, and talk about it", but for the times you
can be there, you must. The problem may lie in convincing the self-injurer in question that you don't mind helping them, because when you're already in the self-hate mode, rationality leaves the room, and even if you want to call somebody up and say "please talk to me, I need a distraction" there will be fear there that you're bothering them, that they secretly don't care, or that they'll reject you and make everything worse.