I'm Officially a Refugee........

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40. He likes to dance in his boxers in watermelon patches while singing Petula Clark's "Downtown".
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I think that's my favorite so far :laugh:

109. He wears a life preserver in the shower...just in case things get a little out of hand.
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Hey, safety 1st ? you can?t be too careful??.


240. He JUST NOW realized that the intention of this list was to insult him
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Awwww, poor Tassbrap :hug:




__________________

keep up the good work BC - only 760 more to go!!
 
it's a decent song, eh? ;)

BC...soon I will compile a list of 2 reasons why you suck
they will be earth shattering
 
241. He beat a grizzly bear in a contest to see who had the most back hair.
242. He's amazed at this list because he never knew numbers went up this high.
243. He tried to reenact Elevation Bono during "The Fly" by smashing his body up against the TV screen...except it was just a 15" TV...so he knocked it off the table, and it broke.
244. He substitutes honey for hair gel.
245. He shaves his legs...but only up to the knees.
246. He likes to put blue food colouring in everything.
247. He wants to be Grimace when he grows up.
248. He sticks pencils under his upper lip and pretends he's a walrus...at funerals...
249. He tried to make pineapple upside down cake, but the cake was rightside up when he pulled it out of the oven, so he threw it away.
250. Some of his personal words to live by are "Cheese can make anything sexy."
 
251. His buck teeth once stabbed an infant in the eye, prompting a lawsuit.
252. He has sandals with big foam flowers on them (thong sandals, of course!).
253. He likes to cover himself in saran wrap when he goes out to get the mail.
254. One time, he had to get his stomach pumped after ingesting an entire can of Silly String.
255. He stuck a microphone up his nose and recorded a 54 minute song entitled "Nose Musings".
256. He practices French kissing with a horse.
257. He keeps an aquarium full of dead fish.
258. He likes to sit on tables and eat off of chairs.
259. He wears car air fresheners around his neck.
260. He once got his head stuck in a garbage can...purposely...trying to break a record...previously set by himself...
 
261. He has a belt with a misletoe buckle...that he wears all year round.
262. He used to have Hammer pants, but then they got stuck in the car door, and he panicked and wet himself...the dry cleaner said they couldn't be saved.
263. He had a brief stint as a phone sex operator, but he got fired because he started to giggle uncontrollably everytime a caller said "penis".
264. They say every family has a crazy relative...in his family, he IS that crazy relative...
265. He made a pair of shoes from Legos.
266. He used to pee in his friend's tuba.
267. When his friend told him he was rich, he thought he'd gotten his name changed.
268. He realized too late that edible underwear is not good to wear in a public pool.
269. He made a comic book starring himself...but he ended up accidentally stabbing himself with a fork and dying after the first page.
270. He went through a two week phase where he would only answer to the name Cornelius Butterpants.
 
271. He likes to play what he calls "The Fun Bathroom Game"...which means you go to the bathroom with the lights off.
272. Smurfette always made him giddy with pleasure as a child...though he didn't know why.
273. He writes a daily newspaper for his house about things that go on in his house.
274. He refers to his toes as "his feet's little buddies".
275. He goes door to door trying to sell people things he stole from their front yard ("As you can see, this 'For Sale' sign would make a lovely addition to your home...").
276. He once glued Smarties to his lips so that all his kisses could be as sweet as candy (I heard that the horse from #256 particularly enjoys this).
277. He uses a baster in the bathtub.
278. When interviewing for a job as an ice cream man, he thought he'd impress everybody by showing how much he loved ice cream. He painted himself brown, shoved a board up his arse and called himself "Fudgesicle Man".
279. He wonders why my musicians today aren't as wicked fresh as Vanilla Ice ("word to your mother...").
280. He orders cheeseburgers and then requests that they hold the cheese.
 
281. He likes to put "For Sale" signs on people's cars in parking lots.
282. He once tried to mail himself to Greenland.
283. He shaved his head in protest of U2 breaking up...then he realized U2 hadn't broken up...boy, didn't you feel dumb...
284. He used to have a tree house, but neighbourhood squirrels took over and kicked him out.
285. He puts pictures of his neighbours on flyers and posts them around town, declaring that they are armed and dangerous and have a warrant for their arrest.
286. He glues quarters to sidewalks and laughs at people as they try to pick them up.
287. He tried to be a fortune teller...but the first customer caught on when she saw that he was using a bowling ball instead of a crystal ball.
288. He often comments he'd enjoy skinny dipping more if he didn't have to be naked to do it.
289. He fell asleep in the back of some guy's truck and woke up in Mexico...twice...
290. He picks his nose and sticks the boogers under his keyboard...and he named them all (how's Vivian doin'??).
 
291. He often gets banned from department stores for feelin' up the mannequins.
292. He has worn an ascot on numerous occasions...willingly...
293. He was going to start smoking, but he couldn't figure out how to get the pack of cigarettes open.
294. He heard it was bad to drink and drive...when his friend pulled into his driveway drinkin' orange juice, he went nuts and beat the crap outta him (you're not supposed to drink ALCOHOL and drive, Bassy...ALCOHOL......).
295. He tried to lay an egg.
296. He likes to rub his naked arse on the walls because it feels so smooth!
297. He wears one of those big gold watch necklaces that the rappers used to wear and claims he's "kickin' it old school".
298. He knows all of the words to Milli Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True".
299. He dusts furniture with his head.
300. He uses suspenders to keep his underwear up (when he wears any, that is...).
 
301. He enjoys chewing on rubber dog toys.
302. When he sunbathes, he slathers his body with salsa.
303. He has a "clever" dance routine involving an umbrella and a 1-legged chicken.
304. During the holidays, he enjoys going to nursing homes to sing Christmas carols and modifying the lyrics to be sexual.
305. Not only is he the spokesman for Depends...he's also their #1 buyer!!
306. He used to have his hair cut like that dude from Kid 'n Play (or whatever the hell they were called...).
307. He wonders where waterfalls get all their water from ("it just keeps flowing...and falling...it's like, endless!!!").
308. He is fascinated by the ball return at bowling alleys...and has had a broken nose 7 times because of it...oh, wait...make that 8...
309. He misunderstood that he was supposed to swallow live goldfish for his pledging and attempted to swallow a life goldfinch. It pecked his tonsils out.
310. He got stuck in his car trunk for 7 hours after he decided to become an escape artist...he then realized that the trunk was unlatched the whole time.
 
not bad...too bad you got another 700 to go

it's a useless cause...give up now and name me your lord
 
where are you?????

KAT!!!! YOU MUSTNT GIVE UP NOW!!! your doing so well!!!

*bangs on computer screen*

KAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!

I want to see Mr big Bassy writhe in defeat! :scream:
 
1. Kat goes for a ride to the cornerstore to buy some batteries (cos batteries taste like happiness) only to find out she forgot her wallet. So she has to drive all the way back stopping at green lights and all. When she gets home she forgets why she came back and after trying to remember decides to go back to the store...yummy batteries await!! Of course, when she gets there she realizes she has no money...and so the vicious cycle continues until she passes out from hunger.

2. She spends all her time trying to come up with 1000 freaking reasons why somebody she has never met is lame.
 
311. He makes powdered doughnuts with foot powder instead of powdered sugar.
312. He wears his clothes backwards...though he claims to have never heard of Kris Kross.
313. He enjoys covering various body parts with Magic Shell.
314. He molts.
315. He spraypainted "Warrant Rulz!!!" on an overpass.
316. He tries to deliver frozen pizzas to his neighbours...when they refuse to pay, he screams "Don't shoot, don't shoot!" until they finally give him money.
317. He likes to tapdance.
318. He wants to have his body dipped in gold after he dies.
319. He has ruby slippers.
320. He needs a map to navigate around his house.
 
321. His bedroom is decorated in a Blue's Clues theme.
322. He dug a hole in his backyard, filled it with water, and told people he had discovered the fountain of youth.
323. He wears footy pajamas ("Dr. Denton, paging Dr. Denton!").
324. He likes to eat candlewax to stay regular.
325. His wallpaper is a naked picture of Scott Stapp.
326. He vacuums his ceiling.
327. He tried to give a fish a mohawk.
328. He likes to go hunting for shopping carts.
329. He put a motor in his TV.
330. He likes to start fires and then put them out so that he can look brave and tough (it doesn't work though, does it?).
 
331. He's a mall-walker...complete with sweatband and Walkman playin' "Sweatin' to the Oldies".
332. He was disappointed that the ants on his antfarm never harvested any crops.
333. He likes to flash street signs.
334. To avoid toe jam, he glued his toes together.
335. He likes to pretend he's a "Guy on the Street" news reporter and randomly interviews people downtown.
336. He got kicked out of an elemetary school after asking children to write letters to Satan to tell them what he wanted for Christmas (it's Santa, Bassy...SANTA...).
337. He gets into heated political debates with his can opener. If he loses, he cries and screams, "You'll never open another can again!!!!!!"
338. When he goes to the zoo, he asks zoo workers where the unicorn exhibit is. When they say they don't have one, he says, "Fine...just point me towards the dinosaurs!"
339. He tried to teach a rock how to fly.
340. He likes to put ice cubes in the sink and run hot water on them ("Look at that baby melt! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!").
 
341. He thinks "tamponed" is a word.
342. He spreads butter with a putty knife.
343. He sends his resume to The Pope, requesting the position of "Mini-Me".
344. He uses Miracle Gro when he...umm...well...let's just say, he found out it only works on plants.
345. He likes to have tea parties with his invisible friends (which are his only friends, coincidentally).
346. He paints dogs.
347. He loans his car to his friends so that he can call the cops to report a stolen vehicle.
348. He built a raft so that he could ride it to get around his house...forgetting that he would need a water source to pilot the raft.
349. He plants chocolate every spring...and just hopes...same with money...
350. He likes to watch TV with the picture tinted green.
 
351. He decided to form his own political party, minus the "political" part.
352. At fast food joints, he likes to pay for his food and then drive off without getting his food, smirking to himself and thinkin', man, did I ever screw them over!!!! BWAAAHAAAHAA!!!! Suckers...
353. He spent 3 weeks trying to think of a word that rhymed with "purple".
354. He gets a kick out of setting off car alarms in parking lots.
355. He tried to invent his own form of currency called Basseosis.
356. He likes to stuff a cushion under his shirt and ask people if they wanna feel the baby kick.
357. He goes to the opera and yells "Where are the subtitles??" every 5 minutes until security removes him.
358. He highlighted the entire dictionary ("Every word is just, like, so important!").
359. He covers his house with police tape.
360. He writes suggestive notes in the "Memo" section of checks.
 
361. He goes to pet stores and tries to teach the parrots how to say "shit" and "boob".
362. He likes to run up the down escalators and run down the up escalators (I must say, that must be quite a workout!).
363. He leaves a trail of coffee grounds when he leaves his house.
364. He tried to set up valet parking at the corner store.
365. He moshes to talk radio.
366. He once launched a money making scheme by offering to do 1st graders' homework in exchange for their lunch money. He had to go out of business though because all of his customers began to fail and beat him up until he gave them refunds.
367. He randomly makes pig noises.
368. He tried to dig a tunnel to China, but he hit a water pipe after 2 feet.
369. He wrote his own theme song that he sings whenver he wants into a public place...and, yes, there is a dance that goes along with it...
370. He cheats at Solitaire because he doesn't want to look like a loser in front of himself.
 
371. He likes to count how many bricks are in a wall...and then challenge people to guess how many there are.
372. When he goes clothes shopping, he asks the clerk for pants that are hunter green...and if they are forest green, he screams and says that nobody understands him.
373. He likes to ride those mechanical animals outside of department stores...but he doesn't put coins in them...he just pretends...
374. He likes to put peanut butter and jelly on his tongue and then wipe it off with bread...and then bag the sandwich up for a friend ("It makes me feel like I'm even more involved with their lunch...like a little part of me is there with them when they eat.").
375. He buys hats for his plants.
376. He knits leg warmers for his chairs.
377. When he farts, he blames it on ghosts.
378. He likes to shred documents because it makes him feel like he's important enough to have items that need to be shredded.
379. He launched a campaign to have "fondue" become known as "fundue" because "it's just so much damn fun!".
380. When he really needs to spiff up, he goes with a polka dot bowtie...that squirts water...and spins...
 
381. He tried to tell friends that he invented coffee-flavoured milk, but it was actually just coffee.
382. He wanted to be on TV, so he ripped the back off and tried to squeeze in. He finally concluded he'd have to figure out how to shrink himself like all the others do.
383. The picture that came with his wallet is still in his wallet...he calls her "Mindy, the love of my life".
384. He tried to milk a pig.
385. He painted his lawn hot pink.
386. He picks his nose with pencils.
387. He started a turtle pornography site.
388. He ties his socks.
389. He doesn't know his birthday.
390. He likes to shake his pop before opening so he can spray himself in the face ("It's invigorating!!!").
 
391. He sells egg cartons as pill organizers.
392. He once got his tongue caught on his watch.
393. He puts nail polish on his dog's claws.
394. He grooms his dog with a lint roller, wondering if he can make the dog go bald.
395. He uses feminine deodorant spray to prevent that "not so fresh" feeling.
396. He gets kicked out of the grocery store for unzipping by the cucumbers.
397. He likes to brush the teeth on his reflection in the mirror.
398. He's a self-proclaimed "diva".
399. He bought 100 Monopoly sets before realizing that the money the game came with wasn't real.
400. He says that his bedroom his an attached bathroom...but somehow I don't think a coffee can in the corner can technically be considered an attached bathroom (well, maybe in Canada...).
 
401. He carries a thermos of ketchup and calls it his "emergency kit".
402. He once peed his pants while sitting on Santa's lap...he was 15 years old.
403. When bored, he likes to act out all of the Interference smilies.
404. He made curtains out of paperclip chains.
405. He handcuffed himself naked to his bed to see how it would feel...but then he realized the key was on the other side of the room.
406. After every bite while he's eating, he smacks his lips and says, "Dem's some gooooood eatin'!"
407. He tried to get out of school by saying he had a bruised tooth.
408. He chews on his pencils...and eventually just eats them.
409. He tried to wire his pants for AM/FM radio reception.
410. He likes to refrigerate his clothes in the summer.
 
411. As a child, he was most often heard declaring, "They are NOT dolls! They are action figures!!!!!!!!!"
412. He tried to sue Kleenex, claiming they stole his idea.
413. He often confuses "potato chips" and "paint chips".
414. He tried to give himself a Weebl and Bob tattoo...but he spelt "Bob" with too many o's.
415. He tried to bottle water from his backyard hose and sell it as "imported spring water from the valley".
416. He loves hosting slumber parties.
417. Is that a roll of quarters or...yeah, it's a roll of quarters...
418. He writes fan letters to the Hamburglar.
419. When he gets all sweaty after a big workout, he throws his yucky clothes into the dryer to dry the sweat out of them...and then puts them back on.
420. He's not even going to read this because he was distracted by the "420".
 
421. He used to have a narcoleptic hamster.
422. He has an albino tick on his shoulder that is sucking his will to live.
423. He often wears a cape in public.
424. He tried to sell his soul for a piece of pie.
425. He carries a sequined coin purse.
426. His nosehair always tickles his upper lip.
427. He finds corn on the cob to be "very erotic".
428. He doesn't know what CD stands for.
429. He likes to colour his tongue with highlighters ("Hey, they say that they're non-toxic!!!").
430. He's afraid of worms.
 
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